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Author Topic: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?  (Read 2721 times)

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Offline LiveWithIt

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Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« on: November 21, 2013, 08:50:05 PM »
Sucks   :(

Last year.....

 I spent Thanksgiving at a (not close) friends house and there was a big group of about 20.  I don't think he's hosting this year and whatever this group of 5 not close friends are doing does not involve me.  But I totally understand, if they were invited to another friends place they can't invite whomever they want, and most people have small places here,  If one of the 5 are hosting it and didn't invite me I will be very disappointed. 

Then Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I spent alone.

New Years was another big party, but I don't even think the same person is hosting that this year so I guess I will be alone again.


This year....
At least  for Christmas I will go see my family for Christmas Eve and Christmas day.  I plan to be back by NY EVe regardless if I have plans or not.



So it looks like I will be spending Thanksgiving alone, I've done it before.  I will be seeing some people the night before Thanksgiving but if they ask what I'm doing I will just say I am having dinner with a friend.   I don't want any last minute pity invites or people feeling sorry for me. 

I'm hoping to change things and find friends who actually care about me and maybe a boyfriend too. 
« Last Edit: November 21, 2013, 08:53:59 PM by LiveWithIt »
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2013, 08:59:11 PM »
If I had to spend Thanksgiving alone I would volunteer at some place serving Thanksgiving dinners to the elderly or something -- a friend of mine does this yearly here at our gay community center.

Something to think about instead of sitting home watching movies.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2013, 09:09:52 PM »
Live if you were closer to me I would invite you to T-Giving dinner. Im going to my cousins and I'm usually an outcast over there so I may as well be alone.

I like MissP's idea also.

-Will
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Offline emeraldize

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2013, 09:18:21 PM »
If I had to spend Thanksgiving alone I would volunteer at some place serving Thanksgiving dinners to the elderly or something -- a friend of mine does this yearly here at our gay community center.

Something to think about instead of sitting home watching movies.

Exactly what I would do. So many seniors are eager for a little chatting and kindness.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2013, 09:23:37 PM »
Im cooking a meal on thanksgiving for whoever stops by , Christmas I am on my own and don't really mind . By the time I drive to see family I can barely walk anyway so Im happier at home and used to it . 

Offline Dan0

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2013, 11:23:17 PM »

Something to think about instead of sitting home watching movies.

My movie is already picked out..."Giant". I'll be spending Thanksgiving with Rock, Liz & James. Enough of a of spread that I'll be eating leftovers until Christmas....or at least until I drop off a care package for my favorite bartender later in the night. Yes, the bars are open on the holiday.
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Offline tednlou2

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2013, 12:21:42 AM »
I wished you lived closer, because you could come eat with us.  I am saddened when people are alone, especially on holidays.  Of course, some prefer it that way and wouldn't have it any other way.  But, I think most want to be with someone.

Offline oksikoko

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2013, 02:03:57 AM »
Me too, LiveWithIt. Every year for the past few, I think, "this holiday season will be different". But they seem to work out the same no matter what I do. I sound like Charlie Brown, good grief. ;)

It's OK, though. I take the time to catch up on personal projects like learning macrame and getting tattoos. I have a nice one picked out for this Christmas.

I had to add a new holiday to the season (Sep - birthday, Oct - Halloween, Nov - Thanksgiving, Dec - Christmas) since my AIDSiversary (HIVersary?) was just the other day. I didn't "celebrate" this one nearly as much as I thought I might or as much as I did for the first one. Haha. Oh, dear.

Lee
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Offline life2

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2013, 02:27:13 AM »
My first AIDSiversary falls on Thanksgiving.  I'll be spending it with my sister's family.  They don't know about my diagnosis. I find that my feelings of loneliness are often amplified when I'm with friends and family.

I'll be home alone on Christmas though also telling anyone that asks that I'm having dinner with friends.

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2013, 08:13:31 AM »
Tanks a lot for the people with genuine responses. 


No thanks to the person who moved this and made me feel worse cause now I can't find it.  I will just log out thanks for more misery.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2013, 08:17:02 AM »
Tanks a lot for the people with genuine responses. 


No thanks to the person who moved this and made me feel worse cause now I can't find it.  I will just log out thanks for more misery.

If you cant find your thread go to your profile and select show own post and it will take you here . We move threads into the appropriate forum when we need to .

Offline denb45

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #11 on: November 23, 2013, 12:17:06 PM »
I will be serving Turkey Dinner w/ of the trimming along w/ Bob my otherhalf, just like I've done for the past 20 yrs. I don't recall EVER spending any holiday alone in my 57 yrs. of life, before then, I would go where I was invite and sometimes even when I wasn't......lol

yes Will, I too have horrible family members that I wouldn't care to spend ANY holiday with at all......I stopped doing this cause they would bring up the AIDS & Gay's just too make me uncomfortable  ::)

Volunteering at some place serving Thanksgiving dinners is a way to pay-it-foward, and a very good idea
I used to do this back-in-day of AIDS 80's & 90's when no one would invite my over, it was very rewarding to do this  ;)

so to the OP, you really don't have to be alone during the holidays, it's your choice
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline idee

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #12 on: November 23, 2013, 02:02:27 PM »
The closest I came to spending holidays alone was in my own apartment, but I have a daughter so I guess I was never really alone. It was in 2008 and we lived in a new state. I went without cable and a few things I was used to having in order to provide a turkey for our dinner that year. 

Offline jpiper

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #13 on: November 23, 2013, 02:04:55 PM »
hi everyone, i'm Jessica =) I'm new around here but i figured i may as well enter my $0.02....as a former bar tender/waitress, current retail slave i dont spend as much time with my fam as i'd prefer BUT i've found fun and rewarding experiences that didn't involve an ugly sweater and listening to a well meaning but old school great aunt ask "arent you married and have 5 babies yeeeeettttttt? tick tock.." ugh.
i usually volunteer with the old folks. the older men get a kick out of me poking fun at them and losing, badly, at whatever card/board game he talked me into.
bars and some restaurants are open both thanksgiving and christmas. i'm in a small town where everybody knows your business and there's a few dives that i hang out at. sometimes they turn into a lonely hearts club meeting, but with a good bartender they can be a lot of fun. you'd be surprised how many bartenders fight over those shifts. they aren't bad and the company is appreciated=)

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #14 on: November 23, 2013, 07:19:34 PM »
Do a google-image search for "christmas sweater party" and you'll see that it's actually chic among the hipster glitterati to throw such parties these days. I'll have to prance up to the thrift store mere blocks away and see if I can find something particularly vile looking.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Online Jeff G

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #15 on: November 23, 2013, 11:18:12 PM »
We did a Thanksgiving thing a long time ago where you made your favorite meals for 3 or 4 days during the week then everyone bring the leftovers on Thanksgiving for a pot luck we also sometime did thrift store Christmas where you bring the tackiest thing you could find to play dirty Santa with . I ended up with a used crusty breast milk pump as my gift .

I'm not doing turkey and stuffing this year , just a big meal of whatever . 

Offline BT65

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #16 on: November 24, 2013, 06:06:00 AM »
We have an ugly Christmas sweater contest at our office Christmas party.  The winner gets a gift card.  I did not wear one last year, but this year, I may go to Goodwill to see if I can find one.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #17 on: November 24, 2013, 08:38:48 AM »
I'm making this recipe for spoon bread this year for Thanksgiving:

http://ansonmills.com/recipes/461

Yesterday I went to Reading Terminal Market and found stone-ground yellow grits -- they never have those here, just the regular grits in the supermarket. I also have stone-ground cornmeal but I've been finding that regularly at one vendor at RTM which is what I've been using if I make cornbread.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Theyer

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #18 on: November 24, 2013, 01:11:14 PM »
What is more socially differcult Christmas or Thanksgiving to be alone ?

This is my first Christmas as a 57 or 6 , orphan , for the last 7 years I have never known until the last minute where my Christmas would be as the single one out of three I would spend it with Mum , hopefully at either my sister or brother , however with illness and nursing home it was often me and Mum for Christmas day then all the family Boxing day. I will not miss paying HUGE amounts of money to Taxi drivers on Christmas day. Grumpy bastards most off them too.

This year I have choice,s , I will enjoy it, I should think, but there will be sadness too.
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Joe K

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #19 on: November 24, 2013, 01:22:09 PM »
This will be my first year, alone for the holidays, in 14 years.

Enough said.

Joe

Offline oksikoko

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #20 on: November 24, 2013, 09:14:35 PM »
Dear newbies to spending the holidays alone. Let me offer some advice.

With no one else around, it's very easy to just let the holidays pass by without being particularly commemorated in any way. This is all well and good for a single day, but in the aggregate, taking all the holidays together year after year, if you don't mark special events somehow, time starts to just blur together. Before you know it, not only is one day the same as the next, but so is each year. And with no one else to remind you of that funny story that happened last week (or whatever), your memory even of these nothing years gets squishy.

So, my advice: celebrate it anyway, even if you're alone. Do *something* special for yourself. I lost about 10 years to this memory abyss, fer reals. Don't do it too.
Code: [Select]
2014-11-14: CD4 Wars Episode II: Return of the Stribild (released in Europe as Stribild II: Werewolf Bitch)
2014-11-06:                ☣ VL (→) 12,627      ☣ CD4 (→) 639
2014-??-??: off treatment  ☣ VL (?)              ☣ CD4 (?)
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1105
2013-05-23:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (-) 945
2013-02-25:                ☣ VL (-) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1123
2012-12-16: Enter Stribild
2012-11-20: HIV+           ☣ VL (→) 132,683      ☣ CD4 (→) 920
2012-04-01: HIV-
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If no one complains, nothing will ever change.

Offline Theyer

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #21 on: November 25, 2013, 06:10:16 AM »


With no one else around, it's very easy to just let the holidays pass by without being particularly commemorated in any way. This is all well and good for a single day, but in the aggregate, taking all the holidays together year after year, if you don't mark special events somehow, time starts to just blur together. Before you know it, not only is one day the same as the next, but so is each year. And with no one else to remind you of that funny story that happened last week (or whatever), your memory even of these nothing years gets squishy.


Squishy memory periods due to time blurring together is an excellent way off describing periods off long term illness/grief/depression . I will steal it .
One off the things I have also noticed  are the films/music/events that will be remember by friends , That I am blank on. 9 out10 its during those times .
Thanks
m
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #22 on: November 25, 2013, 07:20:13 AM »
I've done a Thanksgiving "kinda" alone -- it was post foot surgery and I was supposed to go to NYC, but an incision become infected and ruptured so I had to cancel. I did manage to salvage the dinner portion by going to a care facility where a friend's sister was living... and a rather upper crust place at that as far as care facilities go. But still an odd Thanksgiving.

And I've travelled a few times overseas for Thanksgiving for vacations and just forgot the entire affair and stiffed my family. They only demand my presence for all Christmases.

If Easter counts I never do anything for it, and since moving to Philly I don't do anything for New Years.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Online Jeff G

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #23 on: November 25, 2013, 08:08:43 AM »
I say this every year . If you are single and horny the holidays are a great time to hookup .

When I was a bartender I worked holidays for the huge tips people give on a holiday and there were scores of lonely depressed men out and about who just needed a little attention . I used to work and watch the sad hotties be picked off one by one like shooting fish in a barrel  . Holiday bar crawling used to be the highlight of my year and I was never sad . 

Offline wolfter

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #24 on: November 25, 2013, 05:55:21 PM »
Holidays are still very difficult for me and I have chosen a different path to deal with them.  There are numerous places within most communities that provide holiday meals.  Volunteers are always appreciated.

I'm spending the entire day at the VFW.  We're preparing an entire meal, free of charge and open to the public for anyone that might otherwise be left alone.  I benefit by seeing the joy that others get.  We do dinners several times a year and it's always a fabulous time.

Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline Habersham

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #25 on: November 25, 2013, 09:19:43 PM »
The VFW here in Savannah has some nice $1 drinks and a restaruant called Betty Bombers. They are open to the public but I don't think on Christmas.
Because I Can

Offline klassykitty

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #26 on: November 28, 2013, 07:23:52 AM »
I am kind of spending today alone.

Like the other person (can't find the name)  I am working.  I will be working at the grocery store until 5pm.  I liked bartending on Thanksgiving and Christmas but now I'm a cashier in a grocery store.   

For those people who could not figure out how to buy what they needed for their meal today  >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

If I wasn't working I would have been at the rescue mission volunteering there.

I will however be able to watch the Ravens whoop up on the Steelers. ;D

Michelle 8)
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Offline Theyer

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Re: Anyone else spending the holidays alone?
« Reply #27 on: November 29, 2013, 05:53:21 AM »
A friend,s friend every year hires a isolated cottage for 2 weeks over Christmas. She packs up the car with all the food treats she desires a pile off books and off she goes.

She sais that the hardest part off this is convincing family/friends every year that this is what she wants to do.
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

 


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