Main Forums > Someone I Care About Has HIV

Worried About Poz Partner

(1/1)

lurker69:
I recently started dating someone who is positive, who also recently learned of his own status. I'm negative and he's the first person I'm aware of to have HIV. So I think he's still getting used to things and I'm struggling to understand what he's going through.

My concern is that I really really like this guy, but sense he has second thoughts about being in a serodiscordant relationship. He cares very much about others (almost to his detriment) and feel he is worried about putting me at risk.

He's very smart and well educated, so he understands what's risky and what isn't. We are already intimate and I don't think the sex is an issue.

I don't want to loose him because he's only comfortable with another positive person. For those of you with HIV, how do you feel about dating/relationships with someone who's negative?  Is there anything I can say or do to change his mindset?

karry:
Hi. I understand how your friend feels. The first relationship I had post diagnosis was with a negative guy. He was OK with my status but I was very scared of transmitting HIV to him even though we practised safe sex. Maybe your partner is also afraid due to the burden of HIV criminalization laws?  I don't really know how to help you with this.
Good luck.
Karry

mecch:

--- Quote from: lurker69 on November 12, 2013, 08:28:10 PM ---
I don't want to loose him because he's only comfortable with another positive person. For those of you with HIV, how do you feel about dating/relationships with someone who's negative?  Is there anything I can say or do to change his mindset?

--- End quote ---

Sounds like he hasn't made up his mind and if he's newly HIV+ maybe he will discover his preferences through experience.
I don' think you can change his mind - but its not made up yet..  Why don't you just talk calmly now and then about the details of zero-discordant dating but not make it a big issue for you.  In similar situations I said (when I was HIV-) that HIV+ status was a piece of the big package that is a person and I liked you I want to go out with you.   After that is said, there isn't much to do but play it by ear and enjoy the time together.  You don't know all that much about him nor he you, if you just started dating.  There is a lot to explore and love, or not, besides misc health issues.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

Go to full version