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Author Topic: Refused therapy by my University  (Read 2038 times)

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Offline Cpt.Mauzer

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Refused therapy by my University
« on: November 01, 2013, 04:50:13 PM »
I decided to seek out couseling services at my university (something that honestly I had been looking forward to since I was 16, currently 21 years old).  I never sought out help elsewhere because my parents highly stigmatize mental illness and I didn't want them knowing I harbored feelings of anxiety and depression for most of my life.

I was informed today that the university's counseling center was choosing not to take my case and wanted me to go elsewhere and use my parents insurance, giving me resources for clinics that specifically cater to HIV+ individuals (completely overlooking the fact that the source of me coming there was not to deal with my diagnosis...which honestly isn't a big issue in my life in relation to my long-term issues with anxiety/depressive feelings).  I'm so irritated that they singled out that issue as the most important when I blatantly told them it was really of no significance to me in relation to my other issues.  So now I'm stuck keeping to myself as I have been for the past 10-12 years of my life due to not wanting my parents to have to deal with this (in addition to me not wanting them to know, the thought of being an additional financial burden to them absolutely would destroy me emotionally).  I don't know what to do but suicide has become a topic on my mind on an almost daily basis anymore. 

I'm so irritated right now...just so very...very irritated -_-  Anyways, this is more of just a me needing an outlet to rant moreso than anything since I know what I /should/ do but I emotionally cannot bring myself to do it.

P.S.  To add an additional layer of annoyance, the two clinics they referred me to are nearly an hour away via mass transit (living in Chicago)...as a college student taking seventeen credit hours I don't have time for that!  I'm rather insulted that they even suggested it...

Anyways, thanks for reading whoever has made it thus far through my rantings  ::)
6-7-13 Detected
6-10-13 74949 VL CD4 458 (32%)
6-27-13 Started Stribild
7-29-13 VL 29 CD4 731 (31%)

Offline mitch777

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Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2013, 06:01:37 PM »
I feel the frustration in your post. Can't blame you at all for feeling the way you do but I can't help but wonder if the counselors at your university feel qualified to help. Maybe I'm way off base.

Having parents that stigmatize mental health issues sucks.

If push comes to shove I would cut back on your class load and get the help you need. Sounds like you might be getting to that point.

What exactly do you think your parents would do? What are you afraid of? What do you think you should do? (btw-suicide is a bad option)

Your mental health comes first. Please know that people from this forum with better advice than mine will come around. Hang in.

m.


31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline Cpt.Mauzer

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Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2013, 10:19:28 PM »
Thanks, Mitch, as far as my parents, they just have a history of making fun of depression and basically not believing it exists in much the same way many people think ADHD doesn't.

Interestingly though, I got an email tonight from the Psychologist who runs the center (after replying to the email I got informing me of their decision to not see my case) stating  that she will "check in with our counselors to find someone [that I can see].

So...I guess everything may work itself out? I'll see next week i guess -_-
6-7-13 Detected
6-10-13 74949 VL CD4 458 (32%)
6-27-13 Started Stribild
7-29-13 VL 29 CD4 731 (31%)

Offline GoForIt

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  • Posts: 94
Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2013, 10:46:54 PM »
Well..I read your posts and here are my thoughts...

1.  It's up to you who you tell.  But these are your parents, they made you, and hopefully they love you.  This is a disease that is affecting you and if they care at all about you they will help you in whatever way you may need.  Or they might not help you and maybe they aren't the best parents and then that would at least let you know you need more independence from family members who won't help you when your ill!  With the ACA you can have health insurance that will cover you and the financial burden would not be so much that you would have to contemplate getting help or not.  If you use your parents insurance or you get your own....Either way its just responsibility creeping up and that is something everyone goes through.  At least now its affordable and available.

2.  Suicide is not the way out.  HIV research is coming a long long way and wouldn't you feel silly if they cure HIV in the near future.  Even if they don't cure it, they are coming so far with the science that there is no doubt that they are going to at least "functionally" cure it.

3.  It's all mental.  Thoughts are just thoughts.  Until you actually take action its just draining thoughts in your head...and if you think about negative things like...My parents aren't going to understand or help me....I'm going to be alone....its all too much...and start getting suicidal its like floating around in a pond of negativity....you need to get up, dry off and do something else...Exercise...pick up a hobby, learn something different...just get out of that negative mind set.  It's bad and its bad for you.  That's the last thing you need when your trying to keep stress away and stay healthy through this.

4.  You're not alone.  There are millions of people with this disease living and there were a ton of people who have passed with this disease that didn't get to this point to even be offered these medications.  There are more people then you know that understand what you are going through that are affected by it and doctors and scientists are researching to cure it.  Help is out there if you look for it and sometimes its just not as easy as the first step.  Might take a few more steps forward in your search to find those who understand and can help the most.

Just as another person who is going through the same thing you are.... who never thought this would happen...Kick the suicidal thoughts to the curb, they are worthless and you have a lot of stuff to enjoy while your here and have your health still.  Face depression head on by making the right decisions like eat healthy, exercise regularly, stay positive, and just be yourself.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2013, 10:51:42 PM by GoForIt »
08/09/2013   Diagnosed WB positive
08/20/2013   CD4-506(28%)  VL-10,800
09/12/2013   CD4-391(28%)  VL-14,900
09/17/2013   Start ART (Truvada & Tivicay)
10/11/2013   CD4-377(26%)  VL-UD
12/20/2013   CD4-590(??%)  VL-UD
03/18/2014   CD4-660(29%)  VL-UD
07/22/2014   CD4-613(29%)  VL-UD
08/01/2014    Start TAF Clinical Trial

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,653
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2013, 02:41:52 AM »
Does your university offer real therapy? Maybe its standard that they would refer you outside.  Sounds like you might benefit from long-term therapy and maybe the university doesn't do it.  Or maybe it does. Does it?

But yeah, referring you to distant HIV clinics was rather crass. You have a right to feel insulted.  That surely wasn't intentional. I wonder whether anyone HIV- and especially mental health professionals will, at first interview, buy a 21yo's argument that HIV is NOT part of the mix in a 21yo's mental health challenges....  Well that it may be not an issue.  They just won't see that but a therapist will after a few sessions. Or, you might discover, its more an issue than you realise.

Also, suicide ideation. Well please tell SOME mental health professional about this, whether on campus or in a clinic or wherever.  I hope you get it sorted soon. 


 

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline a2z

  • Member
  • Posts: 193
Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2013, 04:10:12 AM »
I decided to seek out couseling services at my university ....

I was informed today that the university's counseling center was choosing not to take my case and wanted me to go elsewhere and use my parents insurance, giving me resources for clinics that specifically cater to HIV+ individuals

I'm confused and maybe a bit angry here.  Is this university public or private?  Either way it sounds more than a bit like discrimination, particularly as you indicated that HIV was NOT the primary reason you were seeing them.

Have you thought of legal action?
Dates are blood draw dates:
5/23/14: CD4 895 --.-% VL UD - Truvada/Isentress
09/21/09: CD4 898 27.0% VL 120 - back on track, same meds.High level enzymes, but less so
06/15/09: CD4 478 21.8% VL 1150 - high liver enzymes... looks like I may not be resistant
05/22/09: Fixed insurance, resumed medicine
04/17/09: Ran out of medicine, could not resolve insurance problems
04/01/09: CD4 773 28% VL 120 - high liver enzymes
12/01/08: CD4 514 23% VL 630
10/17/08 started Reyataz, Norvir and Truvada. -- possibly minor neuropathy, but otherwise okay.
9/10/08: CD4 345 17%, VL > 78K
8/18/08: CD4 312 18%, VL > 60K (considering meds)
12/19/07: CD4 550 28% VL > 100K (no meds yet)
Diagnosed 10/23/07

Offline mitch777

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  • Posts: 3,523
Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2013, 10:53:25 AM »
Thanks, Mitch, as far as my parents, they just have a history of making fun of depression and basically not believing it exists in much the same way many people think ADHD doesn't.

Interestingly though, I got an email tonight from the Psychologist who runs the center (after replying to the email I got informing me of their decision to not see my case) stating  that she will "check in with our counselors to find someone [that I can see].

So...I guess everything may work itself out? I'll see next week i guess -_-
It's hard for me to understand your parents attitude/beliefs about depression. So sad. That being said, I have faith in you and your ability to seek the help you need.
I'm happy to hear that someone at your university put some more thought into your request. Sounds encouraging! If you get in to seeing a counselor I would make it a point to discuss exactly what you have expressed here as far as your parents are concerned to get him/her to understand your issues better.
I hope it works out and wish you the best.
m.
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline Cpt.Mauzer

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2013, 11:32:15 AM »
I'm confused and maybe a bit angry here.  Is this university public or private?  Either way it sounds more than a bit like discrimination, particularly as you indicated that HIV was NOT the primary reason you were seeing them.

Have you thought of legal action?

It's a public university.  The reason they referred my case was not because they didn't want to deal with it, but they thought that it would be better for me to see someone more knowledgeable about HIV and to receive long-term care (I'm limited to 20 sessions with the university).

It's hard for me to understand your parents attitude/beliefs about depression. So sad.
m.

I don't understand it either, but that said they aren't exactly the best parents in the world.  They've been really toxic for me; I could ramble on but in short, they somehow are still together despite their marriage being dysfunctional and extremely argumentative since I was a small child.  That aggression was often misdirected on me and my younger sister and as a result I'm still very much afraid of them (irrational, I know -_-)

6-7-13 Detected
6-10-13 74949 VL CD4 458 (32%)
6-27-13 Started Stribild
7-29-13 VL 29 CD4 731 (31%)

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,653
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2013, 11:39:53 AM »
Tell them the 20 sessions are better than the commute to the clinic or dealing with your parents.
Personally I dont see it being grounds for a lawsuit, they just recommend the best solution from a medical perspective. Its not the university's problem that your own insurance isn't an option because of parenting dysfunction.

It is a pity that its a catch 22 - you want therapy to deal with crappy parenting, but can't get therapy because they are crappy and you don't dare tell them to put some resources towards helping you heal. 

20 sessions is quite a lot so I would push to get those. Its a start.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Theyer

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  • Posts: 2,509
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2013, 05:10:46 AM »
Hello ,

It reads to me that your University Counselling like many are struggling with too few workers comparred to requests for help , and as they saw a possability that other services would accept you they went for it. I do not agree , but then then I do not know all the details.

I would send a polite , considered email putting your point off view about there decision ,s that could help as it will show you are able to engage in a process which is after all based on dialogue.

One off the Possable reasons as to why people demean things , is there fear off it.
If your parents conduct there life's in negative aggressive conflict and along the way rubbish those who wish to try a differant path , it at least shows they are aware off the differant path , just for whatever reasons will not get on it .

To end , forgive me if you have already done this , I would suggest that you emphasize that you are wishing to develop your own independence and going to your parents insurance does not aid this and you do not think that in any way your telling them about your struggles will suddenly change the views they hold or the manner in which they deal with anxiety and depression.

Good luck  with it all , if anything I have posted is not clear I will have ago at clarifying what I, m on about
Michael

"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Rhaegar

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  • Posts: 102
Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2013, 01:20:19 PM »
I'm in Chicago as well.  Howard Brown Health Center seems to have, at the very least, a good starting point to get services/therapy that you need.  I know that HIV isn't the main issue, but Howard Brown might be able to point you towards a counselor that is local and has experience with all of the issues you mentioned.

From http://www.howardbrown.org/hb_services.asp?id=29

"Howard Brown Health Center provides mental health services specifically tailored for the LGBTQ community, through counseling and psychotherapy available in our Behavioral Health Services department. Individual, couples, family, and group therapies are provided by our team of experienced counselors, social workers, and psychologists.  To speak with us about our services or to obtain referrals, please contact 773-388-1600.

To request counseling services at Howard Brown Health Center, please call 773-388-1600. A Patient Services Representative will schedule a short 10-15 minute phone interview that fits your schedule--often on the same day as your inquiry.  During the call, a counselor will gather basic information about why you are seeking therapy, and what type of therapist and appointment time would best meet your needs. If we have a therapist that matches your needs, that therapist will contact you to arrange a first appointment. If not, the counselor will recontact you and offer referrals to places/counselors that might be a good match."

Kevin
05/19/2011: Diagnosed.  CD4 159   VL 284,000.
04/29/2013:  CD4 789,   VL <20

Offline Cpt.Mauzer

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Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2013, 11:10:37 PM »
Theyer, I had already emailed them.

UPDATE: They decided to take me in as a patient so...I guess it's a place to start, and if i feel i need additional help I guess I'll considering going elsewhere at that point.

I'm in Chicago as well.  Howard Brown Health Center seems to have, at the very least, a good starting point to get services/therapy that you need.  I know that HIV isn't the main issue, but Howard Brown might be able to point you towards a counselor that is local and has experience with all of the issues you mentioned.



Kevin

Howard brown was one of the two they suggested for me (the other being center on halsted).  .
6-7-13 Detected
6-10-13 74949 VL CD4 458 (32%)
6-27-13 Started Stribild
7-29-13 VL 29 CD4 731 (31%)

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Refused therapy by my University
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2013, 11:16:14 PM »
Hi Cpt . I used Howard Brown Center in Chicago when I was coming to terms with HIV , its been a very long time ago but Howard Brown had a very caring and secure facility back then and I bet they could help you as they did me  .

I'm wishing you the best and hope you get what you need to move forward .

 


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