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Author Topic: Is it normal to feel all alone  (Read 1480 times)

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Offline andrew1027

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  • Posts: 23
Is it normal to feel all alone
« on: October 28, 2013, 02:40:34 PM »
I tested positive June 28, 2009 after a bad year cause 2009 was not good to me in anyway shape or form.... I have gotten passed all that and now.... I am trying to understand my virus.... there are so many questions and emotions that I am going through.... I have people around yet I have never felt so alone in my life
Andrew

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2013, 03:14:15 PM »
Hello, and welcome to the forums!

It's often said, but though I am sorry you HAD to find us, I am glad you did. This place is a repository of great information and wisdom. Some of the folks who post here regularly have been living with HIV for fifteen, twenty, even thirty years!

I suspect tha tmost of us have gone through feeling isolated and alone, and please feel free to talk about that here. Feel free to talk about anything here.

You aren't alone, you know. Not here ;)
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline leatherman

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Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2013, 04:14:49 PM »
I have people around yet I have never felt so alone in my life
one of the reasons I found AidsMeds (a loooong time ago when the forums ran on different software. gosh when was that? late 90s? early 2000s?) was because I felt so all alone. All of my friends had died of AIDS and so had my partner. I was afraid I was one of the last people left alive from having AIDS for so many decades. While I had plenty of people around, people who really loved and cared for me, none of them were positive, so I never felt like they really understood. I still felt alone. but the people here, far-flung though most of them are, understood. they understood my good days, my bad days, the f-ed up thoughts in my head, the troubles with meds, doctors, and "the system".

my suggestions to you then is just what Jonathan said, and like you are doing, post here. You might not get an immediate response; but trust me, people will come along and chat with you. Hopefully we'll help you not feel so alone.

so ask your questions. talk about your problems. we're here and we're listening.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.

"Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from Les Miserables

Offline andrew1027

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Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2013, 05:07:32 PM »
Thank you Jkinatl2 and leatherman for your post.... I could go through my story but not sure if this is the right place to do that, but all that I have gone through I have been alone..... I am around family and supposed friends and I still feel like I am so alone.... I only found this forum by shear accident but I need to stay out of my head.... Leatherman I totally understand the F**-d thoughts .... I go through them everyday
Andrew

Online tednlou2

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Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2013, 11:13:26 PM »
Thank you Jkinatl2 and leatherman for your post.... I could go through my story but not sure if this is the right place to do that, but all that I have gone through I have been alone..... I am around family and supposed friends and I still feel like I am so alone.... I only found this forum by shear accident but I need to stay out of my head.... Leatherman I totally understand the F**-d thoughts .... I go through them everyday

First, I want to welcome you here.  Ok, this is the exact kind of place for you to share your story.  This is obviously an HIV site, but we discuss hurt we've experienced from loved ones, financial issues, and the list goes on.  These things are important to discuss, because they can and do affect how we deal with being poz.  And, we have fun in the Off Topic forum.  So, share anything you feel like sharing. 

I was dx'd in December 2008.  I was doing really well for several months; I think it was my mind's way of coping.  Around this exact same time in 2009, I was feeling down and alone.  That is when I found this site.  I knew of other poz folks in my city, but basically acquaintances.  It was good to form relationships (albeit online) with others who could relate.  At this point, I've become Facebook friends with several members and we talk there as well. 

I encourage you to share (get off your chest) anything that is weighing on you.  I mean, if you're ready.  And, maybe even if you're not ready.  I've found just writing thoughts out helps, even if no one responds.  But, you'll get responses.  Keep in touch.

Ted

Offline andrew1027

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  • Posts: 23
Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2013, 09:10:58 AM »
Thank you Ted I will post in off topics.... I believe I am ready to tell the full story... I have done all the counseling that I could possibly do about it and I am in a place where I am good some days and bad others but I think that goes without saying with any of this that we all are going through..... I would love to have friends that could relate to me around where I live and on facebook..... If you want to add me on facebook please do my facebook is drew.crosby.54@facebook.com.... I am feeling promise from being on this site and I am glad I fell upon it
Andrew

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2013, 09:25:57 AM »
1) Andrew, you may not wish to publicly provide a link to your FB account on a forum as it is accessible via any search engine, depending on your views of HIV status being known by anyone.

2) I see from your profile that you live close to Philadelphia in the suburbs. You might avail yourself to come into the city and attend some support groups. There are many different kinds, some tailored towards age, race, etc. or just general drop in groups. Look into places like the Mazzoni Center on Locust St., Philadelphia Fight/Jonathan Lax Center also on Locust, or William Way LGBT Community Center on Spruce, ActionAIDS on Arch.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline andrew1027

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2013, 01:22:52 PM »
Thank you for being concerned but everyone knows about my status anyway..... It just I don't have people around me who actually understand what I am going through
Andrew

Offline Chyna855

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Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2013, 08:40:23 PM »
Andrew
I felt the same way you do. I have friends and family but none of them understood what I was going through. I was playing around on the internet and found POZ and I read a lot of the post I needed help but I was scared to post because I am a transsexual after posting I got so much help that I am now back on meds and eating better I have no more thrush thanks to this form... I can speak for everyone else but if you ever need to talk send me a message.. Keep your head up and learn to start living life

Chyna

Offline mitch777

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Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2013, 08:54:02 PM »
Andrew,

I wish you a welcome too! You will find that there are truly beautiful people here. You are with the best of company.
I am looking forward to hearing more about you.

...sorry to get a bit off track here but I am so happy to read Chyna's comment.

It's nice to know that people care.

m.
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline oksikoko

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    • the treatment cascade
Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2013, 09:51:51 PM »
I tested positive June 28, 2009 after a bad year cause 2009 was not good to me in anyway shape or form.... I have gotten passed all that and now.... I am trying to understand my virus.... there are so many questions and emotions that I am going through.... I have people around yet I have never felt so alone in my life

I know it's not what you mean but, for what it's worth, there are more than 1.2 million of us pozzies in the US and roughly 35 million worldwide. There are more of us than there are, say, Australians or Canadians. There may not be many "out" near you, but there's places like poz.com when you need support.

Being Canadian sounds lonely all of a sudden...
Code: [Select]
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1105
2013-05-23:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (-) 945
2013-02-25:                ☣ VL (-) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1123
2012-12-16: Enter Stribild
2012-11-20: HIV+           ☣ VL (→) 132,683      ☣ CD4 (→) 920
2012-04-01: HIV-
Dates in this signature file conform to ISO 8601. ;-)

Offline andrew1027

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Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2013, 11:15:28 AM »
I live near the city of Philadelphia so there are probably a lot here as well.... I just don't know who the are nor are they in my circle of friends.... With this board I have a whole brand new and great circle of people and friends
Andrew

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2013, 02:39:02 PM »
Andrew, you have to be willing to do the work. A few posts down I gave you several places in Center City Philadelphia where you can locate support groups, many are geared towards people who are newly diagnosed.

Another good way to meet local HIV+ people is to volunteer for an organization that works with HIV+ issues. I can't recall if you said that you are straight or gay, but there are groups for both. Unlike many areas, I think half of new infections in Philly are heterosexual, and most non-injection drug use. It's actually one of the better cities in terms of resources (social as well as medical) for someone with HIV. But staying at home won't do you much good.

Using this forum is fine for now so make use of it, but be willing to step out of this comfort zone at some point soon. IIRC there are ~25,000 people with HIV in Philadelphia, and mind you that's only within city limits (population 1.5 million). The metro area is ~6million  so obviously the numbers are much higher. Statewide the number is more like 40,000 so it wouldn't surprise me if the Philly suburbs have 5-8000. The metro area includes southern New Jersey so it's difficult to get a full picture here, but I'd not be surprised if that number was an additional 10,000.
« Last Edit: October 31, 2013, 03:08:53 PM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline andrew1027

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  • Posts: 23
Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2013, 04:37:00 PM »
Miss Philicia, thank you, I do plan to step out of the comfort zone at a point.... I am just using this board to get the education that I should have already had and I am learning so much... I am finally not in the haze that I was.... I have learned about a new medicine that I want to try and I have called my infectious disease doctor and already put that into the works I go there on November 21st.....
Andrew

Offline newt

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Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2013, 05:38:06 PM »
It's common but not obligatory to  feel alone. It's just a virus in the end, the rest is how people, including you, think about it. A period of adjustment is reasonable, but don't let it become the rest of your life.

- matt
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2013, 01:28:10 AM »
I tested positive June 28, 2009 after a bad year cause 2009 was not good to me in anyway shape or form.... I have gotten passed all that and now.... I am trying to understand my virus.... there are so many questions and emotions that I am going through.... I have people around yet I have never felt so alone in my life

If there is a support group for HIV positive people in your area go there.  I felt alone the first 10 years I had HIV because I lived in an area that didn't have a big gay community which is why I moved to south Florida. 
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline andrew1027

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  • Posts: 23
Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #16 on: November 01, 2013, 12:50:05 PM »
I never said it was obligatory.... I just stated how I felt, because at the end of the day... I know I always have me... Yes it is nice to have other people there who can understand what I am going through but it is not necessary and if it was just the virus that was there but it is more than that.... I have had a hard way to go yes and I am sure there is someone out there with a worse story than myself and I can sympothesize with them but my story and all that I have been through is relivent to me
Andrew

Offline Theyer

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Re: Is it normal to feel all alone
« Reply #17 on: November 18, 2013, 10:11:12 AM »
Hi ,

Just wondering how things are going for you,
All the best
Michael
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

 


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