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Author Topic: Sounds Familiar?  (Read 2300 times)

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Offline simon695

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
Sounds Familiar?
« on: October 31, 2006, 11:40:02 AM »
Am I Just Getting Old Or Are These Old Friends
Restricted To Us,
My Eyesite Is Detiriorating Faster Than I Could Believe,
I Cannot Sleep Without Pills,
I Am Permanently To Cold Or Hot,
I Sweat Too Much,
My Behaviour Is Compulsive,
My Memory Has Black Holes,
My Mood Swings Are Scary.
Did I Forget ANything Else?
            Si

Offline wellington

  • Member
  • Posts: 507
  • Don't sweat the little things.
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2006, 12:46:40 PM »
Yes. You forgot to list the positive things in life!

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2006, 01:06:14 PM »
I think you are just getting old!

I can relate to every thing on that list.

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline red_Dragon888

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,803
  • Love and Be Love in Return
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2006, 01:20:23 PM »
to each life some rain must fall....

Am I Just Getting Old Or Are These Old Friends
Restricted To Us,
My Eyesite Is Detiriorating Faster Than I Could Believe,
I Cannot Sleep Without Pills,
I Am Permanently To Cold Or Hot,
I Sweat Too Much,
My Behaviour Is Compulsive,
My Memory Has Black Holes,
My Mood Swings Are Scary.
Did I Forget ANything Else?
            Si
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2006, 02:45:20 PM »
Am I Just Getting Old Or Are These Old Friends
Restricted To Us,
My Eyesite Is Detiriorating Faster Than I Could Believe,
I Cannot Sleep Without Pills,
I Am Permanently To Cold Or Hot,
I Sweat Too Much,
My Behaviour Is Compulsive,
My Memory Has Black Holes,
My Mood Swings Are Scary.
Did I Forget ANything Else?
            Si

Maybe it's my ignorance but this sounds like things that can happen with age. I'm not sure how old you are but I am 37...I have always had bad eye sight since I was child, runs in the family I guess because all my sibs except for one wears glasses. My eye sight may be poor but there are people who are born in darkness and has never seen the light.

I have problems sleeping but my problem is I usually sleep too much. I don't know what causes this, I have been told it's because I'm anemic, diabetic, and poz. I have even been told that my biological clock is set to 3rd shift, whatever the hell that means. So if I could I would give you the extra hours of sleep. At times I will sleep over 12 hours and still feel groggy. I don't have a job, so why do I have to be so tired? But on the flipside of that I could go to sleep and not ever wake up. Not talking suicide but if it's your time, it is your time.

As far as the temperature, I live in an apartment building where I don't have control of the heat, so I do not know what they leave it set on. I'm often too hot so I don't know if it's the thermostat or if I'm having hot flashes, beginnings of menopause or whatever. I do have a fan and an a/c, so I'm constantly running them or else I just crack a window. I prefer to be at a happy medium, not too hot nor not too cold. But then there is those that have to worry about being cold all the time, the homeless.

I've never had a compulsive behavior, atleast I don't think so. If anything I have more of a premeditated behavior, if that makes sense, because I think about everything before I do it. I look at the pros and the cons of things before I just jump out there. Because I have learned from past experiences that if you don't think about things before you do it, it usually lands your ass in trouble.

Oh man, and memory, I call it selective memory, because if it isn't important, I will forget it. Since being here, I have learned that hiv can affect your memory but I think I'm at fault for that one because I have been smoking weed since I was a teenager. But now it has become more medicinal for me than recreational. But don't get it twisted, I'm not the burnout you see on all those anti-drug commercials. I don't sit on a couch for 11 hours, I get up and do things. I also exercise my brain by playing games that makes you solve things. Which makes me wonder where the hell they get their facts for those dumb ass commercials.

Mood swings, oh hun, you don't even want to go there. I would get mad for nothing. I would get mad just to get mad about something. I went to my gyn and got put on depo shots, which I thought was only for birth control but is also used to balance out hormonal problems.

I agree with Wellington, you forgot the positive things, and I don't mean the hiv. I'm not trying to sound like a goody 2 shoes but honey there are people out there doing much worse than us. Also, staying in that frame of mind is not going to get you anywhere but may affect you physically. Don't get me wrong, I have my moments when I get into a funk.. But you just got to suck it up and be strong. I will keep you in my thoughts and pray you will get to feeling better soon. :-*
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2006, 05:23:09 PM »
Hello Simon695,

There was a first motion, then there was a second motion, and I am going to make it a third motion. I agree with Wellington and Queen Akasha...you forgot to list the positive things in your life.

I agree with Wellington, you forgot the positive things, and I don't mean the hiv. I'm not trying to sound like a goody 2 shoes but honey there are people out there doing much worse than us. Also, staying in that frame of mind is not going to get you anywhere but may affect you physically. Don't get me wrong, I have my moments when I get into a funk.. But you just got to suck it up and be strong. I will keep you in my thoughts and pray you will get to feeling better soon. :-*

Make the BEST of each and every Day!

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,921
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2006, 05:57:59 PM »
Hey Si if you aren't feeling positive right now that is your prerogative...I don't care how many motions the happy brigade make.

To answer your questions...yes and yes.

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2006, 06:03:03 PM »
Hey Hal,

You DO have a very valid suggestion. However the brigade is doing their BEST to try and ENCOURAGE a fellow member. We would do the same for you and anyone else.



Make the BEST of each and every Day!

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,921
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2006, 06:12:30 PM »
We are not Stepford positive people...Si might not have forgot to list the positive's in is life...maybe he didn't want to. I know you are trying to help but sometimes.....Teresa was the only one to have the courtesy to say, "I hear ya."

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2006, 06:17:03 PM »
Hey Hal,

We DO hear him loud and clear...it is all about reassurance. Thank you Teresa!


Make the BEST of each and every Day!

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2006, 06:36:39 PM »
Hey Hal,

We DO hear him loud and clear...it is all about reassurance. Thank you Teresa!


Make the BEST of each and every Day!
Teresa was the only one to have the courtesy to say, "I hear ya."

I just meant that all those things he had listed does come with age. And in my case menopause also. That its not all related to HIV but just getting older.

Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2006, 06:37:59 PM »
Hey Si if you aren't feeling positive right now that is your prerogative...I don't care how many motions the happy brigade make.

To answer your questions...yes and yes.


The happy brigade? I will say what I posted earlier was to try to make the person feel better..It is always easiest to bitch about things but harder for some folks to get past some things. And sometimes people always see the glass as being always being empty. I guess my point is that I could've just said yeah you're right it sucks, I feel your pain, and you would've been cool with that. But as I said earlier there are people doing much worse and I don't see a problem with counting your blessings.....Geez... :-\
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2006, 06:56:20 PM »
Since you asked: Am I Just Getting Old Or Are These Old Friends
Restricted To Us, (meaning us hiv postives?  We are getting older, certainly and yet things could be because of both, right?)
My Eyesite Is Detiriorating Faster Than I Could Believe, (We would need to know your age to help with this.  Eyesite does go downhill up to a certain age and then it usually turns around.  But I am not sure what you mean by deteriorating?  A need for new glasses or floaters or both?)
I Cannot Sleep Without Pills, (My recent answer to this problem has been to not take a nap in the afternoon as I used to do.  By letting myself get tired, I find that I can usually fall asleep in no time with no assistance. )
I Am Permanently To Cold Or Hot,  (Ok, here we would need to know about the physical you.  If you are thin, you might feel the cold faster than others or than you used to if you have lost weight.  Or, as pointed out, it could be the building's heat system.)
I Sweat Too Much, (Too much for you, meaning more than you used to sweat?)
My Behaviour Is Compulsive, (I am a taurus.  I have no choice here.  I am compulsive and always will be.)
My Memory Has Black Holes, (I call this file problems.  I know the answer is in a- mental- file, but I can't retrieve the file.)
My Mood Swings Are Scary.  (I was reminded by another post that this is a side effect of Sustiva.  If you allow yourself to get depressed after you have taken the drug, the depression is DEEP.  If you respond to the full moon, coffee and/or sugar, you can get great highs.)
Did I Forget ANything Else?
            Si
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline wellington

  • Member
  • Posts: 507
  • Don't sweat the little things.
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2006, 09:47:17 PM »
I stand corrected. I read the list and heard very clearly that you are having a troubling time. Don't forget to also think about the positive things in life. I know it's not always easy.

If that makes me a member of the happy brigade, I'm fine with that. *slides finger up nose to adjust glasses*

Offline simon695

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #14 on: November 01, 2006, 07:34:25 AM »
Sorry Of Course There Are Many WOnderful
Things In My Life,Particulary My Wonderful
Partner Of 25+ Years (Negative).

Offline wellington

  • Member
  • Posts: 507
  • Don't sweat the little things.
Re: Sounds Familiar?
« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2006, 08:38:36 AM »
I'm not getting any younger either, but I'd prefer to hold onto my youth as long as I can. 25 years sounds like a very definite positive!

 


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