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Author Topic: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!  (Read 4302 times)

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Offline Nick87

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  • Posts: 4
Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« on: October 23, 2013, 05:06:49 PM »
Hi everyone.

Wow....I really never thought this is something I would be doing.

I'm 26 (just. What a birthday present!), gay and live in London.

I tested positive on Monday (now Wednesday). I have a CD4 of 550 - but have to wait until next Monday to learn any more than that. I'll learn my viral loads an whether I got this within the last six months or two years (yes yes...last tested two years ago. I'll explain).

I have recently broken up with my ex of four years - moved out etc, got new place. And I met a guy (well, we knew each other before but started something up). I knew my new man was poz, so was really cautious. I went with him to see Professor Gazzard (anyone know him?) to speak about how safe I was. Decided to get tested afterwards as have had concerns about my ex's behaviour. Surprise surprise, I was positive. The Profs gonna get a shock on Monday when we both turn up and it's me that needs seeing to!

On finding out, the nurses (who know my new partner well) confirmed to me that 1. It couldn't have been him as the test only goes up to six weeks. 2. He had responded well to treatment and 3. We had ALWAYS been incredibly careful - the chances were this came from UNPROTECTED sex.

I haven't yet told my ex. He is the only person I have ever had unprotected sex with. We had a house together, a dog (mine now!)...I thought he was the one. How wrong.

I spoke to him yesterday to try and ascertain a few things and he did admit he had cheated on two occasions in the last two years of our relationship.

I must admit....me and my new partner did sleep together whilst I was with my ex. Once. But again....very careful. Incredibly careful.

I need some advice here.....

1. My CD4 is 550. Is this good? Can we take an educated guess how long I've had this for based on that?

2. IF I did get it from new partner on the time we slept together with protection about a year ago - what are the chances of this? (He has a CD4 in high 600's and a viral load of only 1000)

3. Me and my ex are already at war. And he knows my new partner too (used to be close). He's thrown every insult at my new partner about his HIV (or AIDS as he calls it...ignorant) at him. How do I cope when he inevitably does this to me

4. Dark thoughts. I feel this is unfair. And I can't help having dark thoughts, or feeling INTENSE jealousy to every gay man who doesn't have this now. How can I stop this?

5. What's going to happen to me? Is my hair going to fall out? Is this going to have an effect on my physical appearance?

6. The biggie. Tell the family? My partner says no. I'm almost positive (haha!) that when my ex finds out he'll tell my family for me. He'll tell everyone (but not about himself!). But I don't think I want them to know. I feel they're a bit stuck in the 80's

7. Medication. I've been told that I should avoid this as long as possible. But I don't want this in my body. I feel like I can feel it in me. Is anyone on the meds? How bad are they going it affect me?

8. I'm a blabber mouth. I think I've already told too many people. How do I stop myself telling people? Any tips?

......I probably have more questions. My heads all over the place.

As great as the Dean Street clinic in Soho have been, I just feel like they dropped this massive bombshell on me, gave me half the facts and put me out on the streets to wait a week before getting any more information. I didn't even get given any literature!!! The health advisor said she'd call me back today as had some questions, but never did. I feel a bit lost.

Help?

Nick x

Offline notaswede

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2013, 12:07:33 AM »
Hey Nick,

I'm very sorry that you had this nasty birthday surprise, but from now on everything will get better again (quickly). I know how you must feel and that the whole thing is overwhelming in the beginning. I have been on this type of emotional rollercoaster earlier this year and the whole thing faded pretty quickly for me and I'm now back to normal (minus one tablet each evening).

Regarding your questions:

1. My CD4 is 550. Is this good? Can we take an educated guess how long I've had this for based on that?
Yes, that's good. 550 is within the normal range (but you need some more numbers to see the complete picture) and people have done well even with much lower (almost zero) CD4. So, no reason to panic. You can't, however, say how long you have been infected based on the CD4.

2. IF I did get it from new partner on the time we slept together with protection about a year ago - what are the chances of this? (He has a CD4 in high 600's and a viral load of only 1000)
While a low viral load reduced the risk of transmission, it's not zero. So, you could have gotten it from him if the protection failed in any way. You say that you were very careful, so i guess it's not him, but you never know (you can check the strains, though).

3. Me and my ex are already at war. And he knows my new partner too (used to be close). He's thrown every insult at my new partner about his HIV (or AIDS as he calls it...ignorant) at him. How do I cope when he inevitably does this to me
Well, this is a tough one. I had nothing other than positive reactions when i disclosed, so I'm really not the person who can answer that.

4. Dark thoughts. I feel this is unfair. And I can't help having dark thoughts, or feeling INTENSE jealousy to every gay man who doesn't have this now. How can I stop this?
Viruses and illnesses aren't fair. Nobody deserves HIV, cancer or any of the other things life throws at us. I know the feeling and it comes up every once in a while, but just remind yourself that every single one of us has his own little package to bear and while our load could certainly be slightly lighter, we could also be worse off. Apart from the social stigma, HIV is actually one of the nicer potentially life-threatening illnesses to have (in my opinion). Sure, it's nasty but you can learn to live with it and it won't kill you.

5. What's going to happen to me? Is my hair going to fall out? Is this going to have an effect on my physical appearance?
You will probably grow a third arm and your penis will fall off within 3 days :-). No, you will be as handsome and sexy as always (i mean, your boyfriend is certainly also very attractive? There you have living proof) . I mean - if HIV had a visible negative effect on your appearance, do you think that the it would still be able to spread? We gays are very superficial and would have figured out how to sort the + from the -. (There were some older medicines which affected the appearance, but they aren't used anymore).

6. The biggie. Tell the family? My partner says no. I'm almost positive (haha!) that when my ex finds out he'll tell my family for me. He'll tell everyone (but not about himself!). But I don't think I want them to know. I feel they're a bit stuck in the 80's
If you don't want them to know, then you don't have to tell them. But, if there is a risk that your ex tells them, it's maybe nicer to do it yourself? Difficult...

7. Medication. I've been told that I should avoid this as long as possible. But I don't want this in my body. I feel like I can feel it in me. Is anyone on the meds? How bad are they going it affect me?

Who told you to avoid medication as long as possible? I'm all in favour of an early treatment start - the minute i learned about my diagnosis, i made up my mind that i didn't want to play the waiting game. HIV is the only illness where people wait for it to get so bad as that it's unavoidable to take medication. All recent studies point come to the conclusion that an early start is beneficial.

Probably 80-90% here are on medication and they are all doing fine. I started Atripla in June and apart from a few funny dreams and trouble concentrating during the first 2 weeks i have absolutely no side-effects.

I would advise you to take the opportunity next week to talk to a doctor about your situation and then decide together with your partner on how you want to attack this. There are many excellent drugs out there that can help you manage this problem with minimal to no impact on your daily life (and body).

8. I'm a blabber mouth. I think I've already told too many people. How do I stop myself telling people? Any tips?
Nope, sorry. I'm pretty good at holding my cards close to my chest, so I'm useless in that regard.


......I probably have more questions. My heads all over the place.

As great as the Dean Street clinic in Soho have been, I just feel like they dropped this massive bombshell on me, gave me half the facts and put me out on the streets to wait a week before getting any more information. I didn't even get given any literature!!! The health advisor said she'd call me back today as had some questions, but never did. I feel a bit lost.
I understand. Check if there are hotlines or other help services in your area that you can consult. Also, this website is excellent and there are a lot of other resources on the web that can help you to understand more about HIV and meds.

Lastly: I was diagnosed in January, still have no clue where/how i caught it, but I'm thinking too much about that anymore. The first 2 weeks were a bit rough, but over time wounds heal and you learn to enjoy life (again). My life goes on (as will yours) as before. I work fulltime, travel the world and go out partying. Sure, I'm a bit more careful about popping other pills and have some fears, but that's also a bit related to my personality.

All the best

notaswede

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2013, 01:05:53 AM »
Hello! Welcome to the forums!

I am sorry you had to find us, but I am glad that you found us, if that makes sense. I usually phrase that better. Forgive me. I've been out of town a bit.

Why not just dive in to your questions! I like me some bullet points.

Quote
1. My CD4 is 550. Is this good? Can we take an educated guess how long I've had this for based on that?

Normal CD4 range is 500-1500. So you are there. And sadly, HIV is a virus that impacts everyone a tad differently. It is almost impossible to tell how long you have been infected.

Quote
2. IF I did get it from new partner on the time we slept together with protection about a year ago - what are the chances of this? (He has a CD4 in high 600's and a viral load of only 1000)

Yeah, you didn't get it from the current partner if you used a condom for penetrative anal sex. HIV is terribly difficult to transmit with Unprotected anal sex. Add a condom and a low-ish viral load? Nope.

Quote
3. Me and my ex are already at war. And he knows my new partner too (used to be close). He's thrown every insult at my new partner about his HIV (or AIDS as he calls it...ignorant) at him. How do I cope when he inevitably does this to me

Well, are you at war over splitting up financial stuff? If not, then is there a compelling reason to keep him in your life? War is stress. And frankly you don't need someone in your life who makes AIDS jokes about your partner - or you, when he finds out. Screw that. *

* caveat - my HIV negative partner and I make AIDS jokes all the time. Then again, we are a twisted sort of people. All my friends make AIDS jokes too. Come to think of it, we are all pretty horrible people.

Quote
4. Dark thoughts. I feel this is unfair. And I can't help having dark thoughts, or feeling INTENSE jealousy to every gay man who doesn't have this now. How can I stop this?

Ok, there's no reason to force yourself to stop feeling anything. People who compel you to cheer up before you are damned good and ready are doing as much because they are uncomfortable. But it's YOUR comfort that matters here, YOUR process. And you own it.

Feel bad. Feel jealous. Feel sad. Mourn the loss - because you have had one, no question. The only way out, they say, is through. Go through it. See a counselor or therapist if you feel it would help the process, but recognize that it IS a process - not an event. Time, and no substitutions, will place things in perspective.

But realize that you are not alone, and this darkness will subside. In transportation terms, a tunnel is an expensive shortcut between two places. You have paid the toll for that voyage. Just know that you will arrive, if you allow yourself, in a much better place.

Quote
5. What's going to happen to me? Is my hair going to fall out? Is this going to have an effect on my physical appearance?

That's a tough one. I have no idea where you are right this moment, insofar as hair-falling-out goes. Is your hair falling out now? If so, then yes - your hair will likely continue to do so. But if you are referring to the traumatic physical changes that accompanied the early forms of antiviral therapy, then no. Few if any of those drugs are prescribed now. And even the ones that were NEW seven years ago are being refined to minimize any short or long term effect.

You will live to see, quite likely, the reverse of hair falling out. Perhaps especially on your back and ears and places you are not fond of it. Such is the way of the aging process, and why the Norelco company makes and sells trimmers.

Of course, if you stress-eat or turn to beer as a panacea, all bets are off.

Quote
6. The biggie. Tell the family? My partner says no. I'm almost positive (haha!) that when my ex finds out he'll tell my family for me. He'll tell everyone (but not about himself!). But I don't think I want them to know. I feel they're a bit stuck in the 80's

This is a tough one, isn't it? Of course, it all depends on how close you are with any given family member. Me, I told my folks the weekend after I tested, in 1993. And back then, it was close enough to the 80s to make such a conversation pretty morbid. Oh, and they were sad, but they stood by me. And I stood by them, and we are all pretty much standing around now, twenty years later. Well, except for Dad, who departed this plane in 2001. But sometimes when I wake up from a dream I swear I can smell Aqua-Velva nearby.

You get to choose when and whom. But please note that this is a genie (or djinn) that is difficult to put back into the bottle. If you feel you must, fortify yourself with time and knowledge.

My habit of simply careening from event to event might not suit everyone. But you are, hopefully, going to introduce the new partner at some point. I personally don't have the energy to compartmentalize. Some folks do, and more power to them. People who know me, usually know right off the bat more or less.

Also, if your parents love you, then they will want to feel like you trust them - even with this. The people on this forum who are parents will chime in on this, but so far I hear an awful lot of acceptance and nurturing love from them.

My own mom is 86, has mild to moderate Alzheimer's, and we talk almost every day. I am three hundred plus miles from her, so I worry. And she worries about me. But I have told her when I pooped my pants (old drugs) and she has told me when she has pooped hers (bad gumbo). We just talk like that.

Quote
7. Medication. I've been told that I should avoid this as long as possible. But I don't want this in my body. I feel like I can feel it in me. Is anyone on the meds? How bad are they going it affect me?

You have been told bullshittery.

Meds these days are astonishingly friendly. More or less gone are the days of shitting your britches as full-strength Norvir makes a beeline for the earth. The days of buffalo humps and other nasties are pretty much behind us in most developed nations.

Meds are your friend. Stopping the damage HIV does to your innate immune system is proving to be a vital part of a successful treatment program, and nothing does that except antivirals.

There are three. Three! one pill per day options now. Hell, maybe four. I've been gone a month. Sure there can be side effects, and some meds are not recommended for those with a history of psychological issues. That's what the LESSONS part of this site is for, and where your experience with treatment depends a LOT on your own research. You have got to work with your doctor on this.

Is there a learning curve? Yup. But the benefits of taking a day or two to read up pay off in the long run.

My opinion is to start as soon as you feel like you can manage to do so. Right this minute, we are still locked into the one pill a day thing for the foreseeable future. But come back in a year or three and who knows? One pill a week? An infusion every six months?

Always in motion is the future, Yoda said. And that is especially true with HIV treatment.

Quote
8. I'm a blabber mouth. I think I've already told too many people. How do I stop myself telling people? Any tips?

Ah, stigma and gossip. Well, thing is, it's back to that genie/djinn thing. People talk. You included, of course. Me too.

For me, the energy needed to keep my status a secret is exhausting. Much moreso than the process by which my cool friends and loved ones are weeded, through natural selection, from the folks who are not going to be any good for me.

Besides, they were going to be nasty about your partner anyhow, more than likely. Who needs that? I can find plenty of people to join me in Words With Friends.

It's a transition you are undergoing, sure. But you went through one when you decided that your partner's worth was worth overcoming your reluctance (maybe even a bit of ignorance) about HIV. Surely your own worth is equal to that.

I do not doubt that there will be dark days. But there will be an awful lot of days in your future. Makes sense to temper those dark days with brilliant ones. And with your brains and your heart (both evident in your post) I see no reason why that cannot and will not happen.

I certainly hope you stick around. There are some knowledgeable and wise people here. And it is my sincere hope that you become one of them.


Me, I tested positive in 1993. Managed to get really sick in 1994. Saw a lot of carnage. But here I am, in 2013, the sole survivor of my pack of friends from the day. But I am here for a reason. So are you.

By the by, being "here" isn't good enough for me. I mean really, there are also rocks here from 1993. In the twenty years since diagnosis, I have managed to run a small HIV outreach organization. get a little notoriety as a small-time superhero, fall in love three times, jump out of assorted planes, and just finished shooting a television pilot in Los Angeles.

Life is, to a degree large and small, what you make of it. It's really up to you to make it worthwhile. Personally, I have spent years happy when it's only been worth someone else complaining about. But the fun stuff is still out there, waiting for you.

I have spent valuable time in inertia. And I highly recommend inertia to those contemplating the darkest acts. Getting through to another day is sometimes a brave pursuit. But if you do, then other days will follow, and the chance for happiness, contentment, joy, or whatever you truly want will inevitably be caught in the net.

Welcome to the forums. Wiser folks than I are going to chime in. Don't let them sell you anything you weren't going to buy anyhow.






"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,083
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2013, 11:45:13 PM »
Nick,

Just wanted to welcome you to the forums.  Although, we always say we wish you didn't have to join us. 

The stress with the ex is not good.  You say you're at war.  Is there any way to shut down all contact?  You don't need that on top of this.  In normal situations, it would be good to talk to a former partner, so they could be tested.  Although, that probably isn't the best idea with your ex.  He's likely to turn this around on you and blame you for his infection, if he is poz.  He could say you had an affair with someone poz, so you must have infected him.  That could get ugly. 

Is your new partner on meds and with an undetectable viral load?  I wish you two all the best.  It is good you have someone, who you can lean on and he you. 

About the dark thoughts-- I've had those, especially with my best friend.  He has always thumbed his nose at HIV.  He never uses condoms.  He has tested about 4 times in the last 5 years and he would test neg.  he would say he must be immune, considering all the bb sex he's had.  I did go through a period where I was very bitter.  It just didn't seem fair.  There was jealousy involved that he seemed to be able to have all the fun he wanted without consequences.  I've had a fairly boring sex life, compared to him and most I know.  Those were very unhealthy thoughts, because I was actually wishing he would test poz.  That is different than just being envious of people who don't have to deal with this.  That isn't healthy for long, but wishing HIV on a friend is really not healthy.  So, I went the complete opposite direction.  I would ask him why he refused to use condoms.  I would send him articles on HIV stats.  I bought him condoms.  I was actually becoming a nag.  He stopped telling me about most of his adventures, which was fine because I don't need to hear about it. 

Offline Bowie-esq

  • Member
  • Posts: 50
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2013, 04:41:52 PM »
Hi Nick, welcome to the forum, sorry that your diagnose had to bring you here.

Your story is pretty similar to my own. Was with my ex for 11 years, about to turn 30 and then all the lies he created fell apart and his true identity was revealed (for me it was monogamous). It's tough, but it gets easier.

Medication works well, I've not told any of my family (also feel that this is something beyond their knowledge and this way I can protect them). Keep your friends close they will look after you the most.

This forum is a great place to keep your finger on the pulse and learn how others live with this.
Infected: +\-01/2010

Tested positive 08/2010
28/07/11 CD4 420 9% v.l. 20500
16/10/11 CD4 320 10% v.l. 185000
10/11/11 begin Truvada/Viramune
29/12/11 CD4 410 13% v.l. 115
14/4/12 v.l. undetectable
05/7/12 CD4 520 19% v.l. UD
21/08/13 CD4 470 20% v.l. UD
19/12/13 CD4 430 23% v.l. UD
8/12/14 CD4 600 21% v.l. UD

Offline mecch

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  • Posts: 12,169
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2013, 05:57:43 PM »
Welcome to the forum.  Sorry you had all this topsy turvy recently.

Im a bit conflicted about if you should tell the ex you are HIV+.  I hear that you are afraid he will blab it to everyone, before you are ready.  On the other hand, you shouldn't allow yourself this sort of emotional blackmail.   He sounds like damaged goods. But still, he should be told, point blank, that he needs to test for HIV and get over himself and his hateful attitude.  Isn't there some way to cut through the breakup anger and bitterness, for 10 minutes of humanity, respect and mutual concern?

After a disclosure, I would go with tednlou2.  Cut all contact with the ex.  Only talk to him in a very cool business matter on any business that remains and can't be avoided, otherwise, don't say anything, don't contact, don't let any of your buttons get pushed, etc etc.

I could understand you not telling him, because of the fear you expressed.  But since you're already disclosing quite a bit, I would expect you'll be disclosing to your family in due time, so i wouldn't let some jerky ex stop you from doing what is, arguably, right.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Nick87

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  • Posts: 4
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2013, 06:57:38 PM »
Thanks everyone. It's been really useful info!! And it's really good to know that other people understand what I'm going through!

With the ex, he was diagnosed on Thursday (two days ago) and hasn't been taking it well at all. Has basically been begging for me back - clearly because he thinks he doesn't have options anymore...rather naively. He doesn't have anyone to support him either, not anyone who knows him really we'll - so it's been difficult as he expect the support from me! Sadly, given our situation I'm rather cautious of being around him or helping and - I don't think I can really take the burden of this for both of us!

I've asked to be left alone, but remain in contact with him Mum to see if he is ok. Weirdly, despite what's gone on, I do feel some compassion and just want to make sure he is OK. He has told his mum.

He has also admitted cheating (we had an argument about 18 months ago and he slept with a guy in a toilet. A real class act!). He doesn't have the guys number so is unable to let him know.

I now have cut contact as much as I can, but do get emails saying he'll tell my folks if I don't respond to him, so have to succumb to a bit of blackmail. It's all very stressful.

He's actually missing at the moment too, which is concerning.

Tednlou2 - my partner isn't on daily medication but I went to his appointment with him on the day I found out and know he has a V.L of just 1000. Seems really low!

I have my my first real appointment on Monday morning and will find out my V.L then, but expecting it to be very high. Clearly, my ex and I have been passing this between us for 18 months. And from my understanding this is not a good thing. So I am a bit worries about what's going to come out of this appointment!

I have told work who have kindly given me some time off - as much as I need. But I don't want to take the piss. I'll be back in the office straight after my appointment on Monday.

I'm staying busy, seeing friends and trying to keep positive (there's a joke in there somewhere!). It's hard, but I'm pretty sure I'll be OK. It's been quite rough on my partner too. I think it's bought everything back for him. But he's stayed with me all week (only lives down the road anyway). It's my first night alone tonight. Thought it would be weird but I'm coping ok.

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2013, 08:07:08 AM »
1000 is low for living with HIV, but I'm curious what this number means to you..  1000 is an infectious viral load..  But if you had safe sex with your new partner, you didn't get HIV from him.  Low viral load or high viral load, doesn't matter.

Secondly, you and your ex haven't been "passing" hiv back and fourth between your two immune systems...  You get infected and thats that.  Neither of you need to be wondering about "superinfections" or "reinfections"  because it has no meaningful impact on your lives and health going FORWARD.  You and your ex will just go your separate ways, hopefully, and treat your separate and individual immune systems...

I'm glad the ex knows now.  I think you should KINDLY, gently tell him, that blackmailing you is the WORST possible taste and completely idiotic if he wants any sort of support from you, or ANYONE in life.  Geez, was he such a dip when you were with him?  Sounds like he has cracked up, poor thing.  Missing??  What a mess.  I hope he's ok.   
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Nick87

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  • Posts: 4
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2013, 08:34:13 AM »
Update from me...

My first ever viral load count is 2000. So, I guess things aren't going to be that bad.

I'm not going to do meds. Not for now anyway. The prof says there isn't any need.

My ex also told my mum. Which is the last thing I wanted to happen. Feel bad that control of this was taken away but it's done now. And she's been really supportive

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2013, 12:22:37 PM »
Now that your ex knows he is HIV+, please distance yourself from him. He had no right to tell your mom, seeing as you have the support you need, there is no imaginable rational for him doing so. 

Well, anyway, glad your mom is taking it well enough.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Nick87

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  • Posts: 4
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #10 on: October 28, 2013, 01:25:43 PM »
Thanks mecch!

He clearly needs some support. And he is clearly wanting it from me. Despite the fact we're all very angry with him, my new partner has offered to meet him and talk things through with him - so he has support and to protect me. I often think he's too nice! They have known each other for longer than I have known either of them. So hopefully it will work out well.

Will definitely be using these forums a lot. Especially when alone in the flat! I've found it really useful.

So I'll be seeing you around :))

Offline Theyer

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  • Posts: 2,593
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #11 on: November 02, 2013, 06:54:55 AM »
Hi Nick.

Glad you found us but I am sorry that on top off everything you have had to live a Soap Opera script.
You have received excellent responses to your individual points , so I will confine myself to 2 off them.
I am wondering how much off your ex,s behaviour was showing itself during your relationship or are these extremes the result off someone falling apart at the end off a relationship and discovering his HIV status?

I know "Smokin Bri " or as he's also known Prof Gazzard. First met him in 1988 .
I Have attended the Kobler centre at Chelsea & Westminster Hospital for my own Needs since 1991. He is a great fighter for resources amongst other skills, also very good at building a team off Doc,s who have stayed with him , His name is responded to with affection in my experience and for me it is particularly important that he has been around from the very beginning off HIV in London.

I live mostly in London PM me if you think it would be helpful,
Michael
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline SouthSam7

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  • Posts: 428
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #12 on: November 02, 2013, 06:50:40 PM »
I'm so sorry you are now in this special club. Time heals. You will feel better. I'm not a medical or mental professional, but you must get with a social worker or similar to get you some counselling.  In the meantime I encourage you to stay away from your ex. Don't engage him and his horrendous negativity. 

Also, start meds as soon as possible. I waited too long and my cd4s will never go up above around 400 because of that. Again, consult your PROFESSIONAL.

This site kept me company and sane for many years; I was diagnosed in a tiny homophobic, hiv-phobic town. It was horrible but I got great care immediately which included the psychological component. This is heavy and I hope you will allow others who have come out the other side to help you.

Love Sam

Offline scared2b

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  • Posts: 79
Re: Diagnosed two days ago. Help!!!
« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2013, 07:22:06 PM »
Hi Nick

I just wanted to tell you that you should start medication as soon as you can. the longer the virus is active in your body and not suppressed, it will do irreversible damage to your immune system. So the sooner you can get this monster suppressed, the healthier you can keep your immune system and you will live a long healthy life. Just make sure to keep up with your doc and your meds. We are lucky to be able to have these great medications... and hopefully some day soon we can find a cure... So until then, start ur meds and keep the virus suppressed.

xoxo

 


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