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I just tested Poz

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Go Forward:

That's all I could say when the doctor showed me the result on his computer monitor.

Sometime in the last two years, between a routine check for visa application purposes (two years ago) and a routine check for peace-of-mind (today), I may have contracted HIV. I will get the result of a confirmation test tomorrow, but from what I've read only a handful in 100,000 tests are false.

I'm a 40 yo hetero guy. I have lived in Thailand for many years. Several years ago I diagnosed myself with Cyclothymia (a mild form of bipolar disorder). Two years ago my fiance decided to call it quits on our relationship. I didn't handle it well then and have battled severe bouts of depression since.

During manic episodes as a singleton I have engaged in binge-drinking, a little drug experimentation, and risky and experimental sexual activities. With penetrative sex it was always rubber on, but with oral sex ... well, no. I believed the common talk in bars that contracting HIV from unprotected oral sex was practically impossible.

Several weeks ago I decided enough was enough. Realising that the great life I used to lead here was gone, I determined that I would go back to my home country (Australia), reconnect with family, and fashion a new smoke-, drug-, and drunkenness-free life based on simple living principles ... and maybe I would meet a like-minded lady and settle down. I'm scheduled to fly out this weekend.

My visit to the Red Cross Anonymous Clinic today was to reassure myself of a clean bill of health and rule a line under the last two years. While I was waiting I saw a ghostly looking young Thai man, skinny, with what looked like a large bruise on one of his cheeks. I shamefully averted my eyes when he noticed me looking at him and I thought to myself: "poor guy; at least he's getting himself treated".

I've set my alarm to wake me up early tomorrow morning (assuming I sleep at all) so that I can get an early queue number. If I don't get lucky and the Poz result is confirmed, what do I do? Do I accept and pay for an initial course of treatment that might be offered me here? Or do I wait until I'm back in Australia to access the resources there?

Go Forward:
I'm waiting at the clinic now to find out the result of the confirmation test.

Jeff G:
Welcome to the forum Forward . I can promise you living with HIV isn't as hard to do as it seems right now , it does get better . You can still have a full life and realize all of your dreams despite HIV .

After your test if its confirmed that you have HIV you may not need meds for some time so try not to put pressure on yourself to make all the decisions in a day or two . You have choices and time to consider them most likely .     


I tested pos in this same clinic about a month ago and i am still (or better back again) in bangkok this week. If you dont have anyone to talk to and wanna
meet for coffee send me a pm. I will prob leave bkk this coming weekend.

Go Forward:
Positive  :-[


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