HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

Was this a real risk or am I just feeling guilty?


Hello, I want to share this with you. I'm gay and I have had a relationship with the most wonderful man on earth for three years and half; however, I never stopped being hot-headed...

I promised myself I would stop being like that after my last neg hiv result (which I did three weeks after I sucked one guy's cock in the gym and became increasingly anxious about it - sidequestion: was this test realiable or a good indicator?), but then I went to my gym's sauna and start chatting with some guy...

He gave me head, I never touched his penis; neither with my hands, or my mouth; if was being unfaithful, at least I didn't wanna put myself or my partner at risk. However, this guy started like trying to masturbate me with his ass crack. I had my had on my penis almost the whole time just in case he tried to sit and make me fuck him bareback. It was kinda dark and with a lot of steam so I couldn't see very well, but I felt a strange pressure on the very tip of my glans. I'm REALLY not sure if I penetrated him or not, but I was REALLY scared when that happened and pushed him away; if I was inside him, it was probably just millimeters of the head and for -at best- one and half second.

I feel guilty as hell because I had promised myself I'd never be like that... I hate myself right now and I feel scared to death this might be it, that this time time I have catched HIV. I can't sleep or eat or anything, I just feel scared...

Are my concerns regarding hiv just part of my imagination or am I really at risk? ...

Thank you so much...

Also, I'm pretty much sure the guy is HIV+, that's what I heard...
Also, he says I wasn't inside him, but I just don't believe him. Let's just pretend the worst and say the tip of my glans was inside him for a couple of seconds...


Sounds like a bad case of the guilts to me.

I do not class this as an hiv risk situation. What you're describing is called frottage (rubbing body parts together in a sexual way without penetration) and frottage is not a risk for hiv infection. If you had penetrated him to the extent that it was a risk, you WOULD have known about it.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV OVER THIS SPECIFIC SITUATION, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!


Thank you, Ann. I just don't know what I was thinking. So, it was no risk even tho the tip of my glans might have been inside him?


Hiv is significantly more difficult to transmit to the insertive partner and the very tip going inside for a second or two is really neither here nor there. The biggest danger in this type of "almost nearly" insertion (also called "dipping") is the fact that it may all too easily turn into full-on unprotected intercourse in the heat of the moment. You're at a far greater risk of picking up one of the much more easily transmitted STIs during this type of activity that you are for hiv.

The bottom line here is that if you're not already in the habit of regular routine hiv and STI testing, you should start, regardless of this incident. It's what smart, sexually active adults do to protect their own health and that of their partners.

If I were you I wouldn't sweat over this incident. Seriously. If you do decide to test over this specific incident, wait six weeks and (provided this is actually the only "risk" you've ever had) collect your negative hiv result. Don't forget to get checked for all the other MUCH more easily transmitted STIs. They can be present with no obvious symptoms so the only way to know for sure is to test.



[0] Message Index

Go to full version