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Author Topic: Please help!  (Read 1223 times)

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Offline lightzero

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Please help!
« on: October 07, 2013, 10:42:23 AM »
So I hooked up with this guy about 4 times during the month of July, I told him clearly that I wasn't interested in having anal intercourse and he kinda respected that but he still did some frotting against my anus. We stopped talking for two months  and last week we hooked up again since he was moving, he really wanted  anal and I still told him no so when he was frotting this time was way more rough, something I didn't like so I clenched my ass hard because I felt him pushing hard against my anus. After that I told him to stop, he was being way too rough and I wasn't having none of that so I got dressed and left.

2 days later I called to ask his status and he wouldn't tell me unless i sent him nude pics of myself, I told him no. He got mad and told me to "get tested and find out"

Since 10 weeks had passed since our first couple of encounters I decided to get a rapid hiv test (the one where they prick your finger) and came out negative.

So, he didn't penetrate me or dipped but he was pushing way too hard on my anus, and then he fingered me right after that. I got home and showered so I didn't check if I was bleeding. I got a negative result from our encounters 10 weeks ago but he was never that rough. Should I be worried and do I need to get tested again in 3 months?

Thanks for all your help, I appreciate it a lot.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Please help!
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2013, 10:50:39 AM »
The frottage wasn't a risk so if this is your only concern within 3 months prior to your negative HIV test then you are conclusively HIV negative and there is no need for further testing over this specific incident . 

The risk factors for HIV are ...

Sharing IV drug needles immediately after use.
Unprotected anal and vaginal sex.
Mother to child during or shortly after birth
Very specific healthcare situations.

Use condoms for vaginal and anal sex consistently and correctly and you will avoid HIV . 

Offline lightzero

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Re: Please help!
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2013, 06:31:37 PM »
Thanks for the reply.

I forgot to add that the rapid hiv test was done last Friday exactly 10 weeks since our last encounter in July and 5 days since our last and final encounter in which he was extremely rough. My train of thought was "if I take a test now and it comes out negative there's no chance he could be positive now".  I know now that frottage isn't a risk, I'll be more careful from now on. There will not be any dick coming in contact with my ass unless he's wearing a condom.

I think the experience of someone not being forward about their status scared me the most.

One/two more questions, was me waiting 10 weeks enough window period or at what's the minimum one can wait before having a rapid sure hiv test done?

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Please help!
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2013, 06:43:57 PM »
The testing window period for HIV is 6 weeks past exposure and 3 months to confirm the results .

Because you never had a risk your 10 weeks negative test is conclusive proof you do not have HIV . If you wish to test at 3 months purely for peace of mind you can expect a negative result . 

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Please help!
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2013, 07:13:50 PM »
I am sorry you are concerned about this no-risk situation.

I don't see how disclosure was necessary in the scenario you described, since nothing remotely risky was done. Though it was a little insensitive on his part to simply ask for nude pics and blow you off when you asked about is status. But then again, after hooking up for months, and never asking, it did come out of the blue.

But perhaps you missed the part where Jeff was adamant about this neing a no-risk situation.

In the future, assume your partner is HIV positive until and unless you are in a mutually monogamous relationship and can both be tested together at the appropriate windows.

Or until you are in a serodiscordant relationship and have educated yourself thoroughly about HIV transmission.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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