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Author Topic: Worried sick need a reassuring voice  (Read 952 times)

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Offline tom748

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Worried sick need a reassuring voice
« on: January 05, 2014, 10:47:07 AM »
Hello first off I would like to thank you for helping others out you have my utmost respect. I made a really bad choice on the 31 of Dec  I meet up with someone I don't know. This was my first encounter I am a 21 y male. I engaged in unprotected oral sex mostly receiving, I did ejaculate. I also bottomed using a condom and lube I am not sure if the condom broke but I don't think so he did ejaculate in the condom and made sure to hold it properly when removing it. The think is I have been freaking out and extremely regretful of what I had done. I have been hardly sleeping ever since (1-2 hours at most) and staying up for hours I would say for the past couple of days I got at most 3 hours a night. I literally am breaking down especially since I asked him before hand if he was std free and he said yes. After talking to him for a while he told me he had gonerreha and syphillis a few years back. This made me go in too depression even more so I hardly have eaten, pale, and extremely sleep deprived.    I  read that I can do a full  8 panel std test + RNA HIV early detection as soon as 2 weeks I plan on doing this to put my mind at ease.  I know I might sound crazy put what are my risks of a one of encounter such as mine am I at great risk of HIV ( I am not sure about his status). I been sick to my stomach worrying and breaking down. Assuming that he might be positive have I played Russian roulette ?. Lastly I was told that the RNA test is accurate within 9-11 days is this correct ?.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2014, 10:53:13 AM by tom748 »

Offline Ann

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Re: Worried sick need a reassuring voice
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2014, 10:56:10 AM »
Tom,

You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection.

You do NOT need PCR testing - even if you had a risk (which you did NOT) - it would NOT tell you your hiv status with any certainty. ANY PCR result MUST be backed up with standard hiv antibody testing at the appropriate time.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY FOLLOWING PROTECTED INTERCOURSE OR BLOWJOBS, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tom748

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Re: Worried sick need a reassuring voice
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2014, 11:16:15 AM »
Thank you Ann for your prompt reply. I will never gamble my health ever again and I am much aware after reading a lot of your replies. You are a lifesaver I been seriously kicking myself for my actions. I should still do the full std test right?  how long do you recommend I wait ? ( for spyhillis, gonerreha,  cylmedia, etc) .  I am just over worrying I presume. it  really interesting how a lot of misinformation is online  I spend over 20+ hours reading and nearly had a heart attack. Alas thanks again and I wish you the best.

Offline tom748

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Re: Worried sick need a reassuring voice
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2014, 06:40:24 PM »
I truly appreciate your support Ann & Jeff G for answering peoples concerns. As this is my last free post (I do indent to post again after testing). I been to hell and back in the past 2 weeks. I believe that the person I had sex with was at high risk I found out that he had syphilis in 2008 which in turn freaked me out I feel deceived. I talked to him ( I don't really trust him) he said he got tested in May 2013 for (STDs+HIV) all where negative. He also said he got tested for HIV in august 2013 he was negative ( He is dieabtic and said he does blood work often and his doctor tests him). Also he did blood work 3 weeks ago and told me his HIV results where negative. I might be overly paranoid But I will try to make my questions short.

1- If he preformed oral on me what are my risks ( I read that syphilis=increased risk) I am just worried that he might of had syphilis again.

2- If I had protected receptive anal sex ( my first time) what are my risks of HIV ? (assuming he was positive) ?

3- realistically what are my risks of contacting HIV or syphilis ( I saw no sores) if he was infected ? ( I just had a gonereha and cylmedia test) ?

My overal fears are killing me especially since I found out he engages in risky behavior. all of you have my utmost respect.

regards,

Tom

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worried sick need a reassuring voice
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2014, 06:53:49 PM »
1- If he preformed oral on me what are my risks ( I read that syphilis=increased risk) I am just worried that he might of had syphilis again.

Getting your dick sucked is not a risk . If you are worried about syphilis then test for it as a part of your checkup but in this situation its not a factor . 

2- If I had protected receptive anal sex ( my first time) what are my risks of HIV ? (assuming he was positive) ?

Protected sex is not a risk .

3- realistically what are my risks of contacting HIV or syphilis ( I saw no sores) if he was infected ? ( I just had a gonereha and cylmedia test) ?

You did not have a risk for HIV so there is zero chance in zero risk . You are spending lots of energy on the other guy and his test when the only thing that matters is yours .

You never had a risk in the first place so you can relax and move on confidently .

Offline Ann

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Re: Worried sick need a reassuring voice
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2014, 05:13:28 AM »



 I believe that the person I had sex with was at high risk


Tom,

You need to really get it through your head that PEOPLE are not high, low or no risk, ACTIVITIES are high, low or no risk. The only true risk group is that group of people who have unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with persons of unknown or positive hiv status. Let's face it, pretty much every sexually active adult has had unprotected intercourse at some point in their life.

It's not WHO you do, it's HOW you do it. Make sure you get those three letters the correct way around when considering your sexual STI and hiv risks.

None of the ACTIVITIES you participated in were risks for hiv infection, regardless of the other guy's hiv status.

If you're worried about other STIs such as syphilis, you should test. As I already told you, you should be testing for ALL STIs regularly anyway. You also need to know that primary syphilis sores (chancres) are painless, so if you don't see them, you won't know they're there. You can get syphilis from someone even if you saw no evidence of chancres on them. The ONLY way to know if you've been infected with syphilis is to test, just like with hiv. Same goes for all the other STIs as well.

Stop worrying about hiv when you haven't been at risk, and put your energy into testing for the other STIs for which you have been at risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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