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My decision, right?

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Hello ladies,
Just checking in...It has been over a year (I'm not even sure if this topic is even active anymore) but I wanted to say I'm still here.  NO pun intended.  My doc did switch my meds to Stribild (sp?) but I have yet to take it.  That was over a year ago.  I have not been back to access my numbers. 
Typing this makes me feel guilty because I don't want to come off like a pity case and it is hard to describe.  I just have not gotten to the point of believing it.
I started a new job so I got swept up with that and the volunteer work I do.  Denial is a real thing...don't ever believe anyone who tells you otherwise.


Hi Mary Jane,
I hope you will check in sometimes soon to read this.

Yes, denial is real....and I know this first hand, because I lost a loved one to denial in February. My family is still struggling to come to terms with it. The pain is too much..and the questions are too many.

She started treatment and stopped. Five years after she stopped treatment she became very ill. She suffered a lot in hospital before she died. Toxoplasmosis affected her brain. She could barely understand us when we tried to tell her we loved her despite her diagnosis. Doctors tried to put her back on treatment, but she died 2 days after starting treatment.

In a way, I blamed her. I will be honest with you, I did. It was her decision, that I agree, but she had no right to subject my family to the pain we had to go through seeing her die.

She could have taken her treatment, and she will be with us today, living, and doing the things she loved. But she decided otherwise.

She is gone...and we live with the pain and the questions.

I must apologise ahead of time if I come off as harsh or judgemental to you, but its because I have seen and felt first hand what denial can do.

I do hope you make a decision taking into consideration your loved ones, because they will be the ones to live with the pain and the questions.



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