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Author Topic: i do not know wat to do....please help  (Read 6658 times)

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Offline Aprille

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i do not know wat to do....please help
« on: September 28, 2013, 10:51:13 AM »
hi everyone ;D ;D ;D ;D

im 22yrs found out i was positive on 22 July 2013,i was terrified,i thought it was a lie..the whole week i couldnt work.i asked for sick leave at work...i thought my boyfriend gave it to me....the doctor advised i shouldnt tell him over the phone because he stays in another town.well the same weekend i visited him with the intention of disclosing and we didnt use a condom i was still in denial.i conceived,the coming week my Doc told me my cd 4 were 278....my goodness i thought i was dying thats when i told my mother,oh we cried together but she told me HIV  doesnt kill stress does and that i should be strong.i started Atripla in 2 weeks and im loving the vivid dreams,its the best pill ever and my new friend i take it at 8 every night ...i told my boyfriend that im pregnant and im HIV....he was scared,he tested the next day and he was negative...yah a boyfriend of 7 months...he promised to be with me through this....guess what after 3 weeks he start sayings things....i tested negative last 16 January 2013...so he says he doesnt believe that and wants a break from the relationship,because of the drastic change in my cd4 from January to July.but how i wish we were together....im 9 weeks still on Atripla because in Botswana is given to pregnant women but i doubt is safe anywhere i dnt have enough for private hospitals.

thanx for POZ  my hope grows stronger everyday
Mommy you are my pillar...thanx for that

Offline britchick

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2013, 02:34:20 PM »
Aprille,
Im so sorry for everything that you are going through right now.Please have a read of the Positive womens forum on here.Im not a mum myself , but im sure many of the women there can give you good advice.

Good news that you are on Atripla and that you and your growing baby are being looked after.

Please dont feel alone  because people here care and will be sending you good wishes and offering advice((((((You are blessed re your mums support)))))))))))).

Please let her take care of you....


britchickx

Offline Aprille

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2013, 12:39:37 PM »
hi Britchick

wow thanx for the reply...
its not easy when you hiv+ and your boyfriend is not...now he wants DNA test after the baby is born.i would really appreciate it if i can get more replies!and meet with good Councillors in my country....people still think hiv means death sentence ::).....its just a chronic disease that needs to be taken care for..



love Aprille in Botswana :) :) :) :) :)
Mommy you are my pillar...thanx for that

Offline Theyer

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2013, 10:58:33 AM »
Hi Aprillie and welcome to our forum , how is is it going for you I am sorry that you are having multiple problems and hope that the pregnancy is proceeding in a healthy way.
Your Mum sounds a very sensable women and I agree with her , so come back and tell us how things are going , all the best and wishing you the Best
Michael
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline MrT

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2013, 08:12:36 PM »
Hey Aprille, Am sorry that you found out that you are positive but thank God you found this site, there are load of people who will be of encouragements here for you. Please try to stay strong, you have many good years ahead of you!

Offline Aprille

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2013, 09:46:30 PM »
thank you Mr T and Theyer

It is really not nice being pregnant and poz and single....i have always been a good girl,i guess that was not enough,i could be getting married now....but i feel for my baby,poor thing is going to be without a father....i pray everyday that i get a call from the clinic that they made a mistake.... :'( :'( :'(
or atleast if the father can take me back.....going for a scan in 2 weeks to meet my pumkin for the first time  :D :D thank goodness for atripla i feel health everyday!
Mommy you are my pillar...thanx for that

Offline Theyer

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2013, 03:08:21 PM »
Sweetheart you are not being punished for being BAD. Life is randon and you have been very very unlucky.

Boyfriend well I am not his biggest fan at the moment, what does your Mother say about it ?

So if I understand correctly you are going for a scan and are about to see your child, and your ex is missing out having this fantastic experience.

In my opinion a Baby needs a good MOTHER , everything else is a bonus and your story has many more chapters so who is to say this new life will not have a Father, it might not be the biological one , it could be Evan better.

Remember to keep us posted
m
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Theyer

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2013, 07:18:19 PM »
Aprillie,

Hi just wondering how things are going for you.
m
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Aprille

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2013, 04:09:44 AM »
hey M

thanx for caring,im doing good and as for the scan im booked for the 10th of November....my heart is still aching over  whats happening to me.everyday its a battle,i miss my old self ever cheerful!life can so painful,i really dont know why the guy who gave me hiv did soo,what did i do to him?i never even cheated on him.....even now he denies he did!i cry alot,i dated him 4 a month,then he left how cruel is that? :'( :'( :'( now my baby is going to suffer!

very very depressed -A
Mommy you are my pillar...thanx for that

Offline Theyer

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2013, 02:01:58 PM »
Aprille, thank you for replying evan though you are clearly very sad at the moment.

So will you please start repeating to yourself , no wait we must set the scene right.

Find a mirror, Stand very up right and proud and say to your reflection.

I am Aprillie , I have only loved, I have not committed a crime , I will not feel Bad.
I and my baby deserve more than that.

This can be done at any time off the day anywhere after all you do not need a mirror. 

So head up , this set off feelings can be temporary , no one gets to find out they are HIV without a period off confusion and sadness but WE KNOW it does not have to stay that way .
Invite your old self back,
What do you think off all that ?
Michael
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline britchick

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2013, 04:47:16 PM »
Aprille,

Thanks to Theyer for that email.((((((Please dont ever feel alone)))))))). Although we dont live near you....we will always be here for youxx

britchickx


Offline Aprille

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2013, 02:14:12 PM »
thanx guys :)

I am Aprille , I have only loved, I have not committed a crime , I will not feel Bad.
I and my baby deserve more than that.

i wish i stayed next to you guys....here when you disclose your status people freak out....and they never talk to you...


love -A
Mommy you are my pillar...thanx for that

Offline mecch

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2013, 04:01:07 PM »
I am so depressed people in Botswana react like that.
What's the HIV rate there? 
Here in the gay world in Western Switzerland, the HIV rate is alarmingly high. Some gays do react negatively but they also know they "shouldn't" and realise it might well happen to them.   
As for straight people, they have really come around. Haven't had any negative reactions from straights...
Maybe when you are feeling more and more powerful, you can get involved in turning around stigma in your area.  Might be empowering to you, and also help with all this stupid stigma. I dunno...
Wishing you the best!
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Theyer

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #13 on: November 01, 2013, 02:12:58 PM »
thanx guys :)

I am Aprille , I have only loved, I have not committed a crime , I will not feel Bad.
I and my baby deserve more than that.

i wish i stayed next to you guys....here when you disclose your status people freak out....and they never talk to you...


love -A

Thats it Aprille my dear , head up you and your baby will have a loving future ahead , now in the whole off Botswana there just must be one group off people who are in contact with each other and when you are ready then the search can begin.

My brilliant brother who winters in South Africa has mentioned the local groups who he has seen working on National Aids Day, ditto my lovely nephew who spends time in SA for his work. So of course there are differences between SA and Botswana but there are similarities as well , so when you are ready Aprille.

Make sure you tell us about the scan and any other news because we are keeping a check.
Cyber Hugs from Michael
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Aprille

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #14 on: February 16, 2014, 07:19:55 PM »
Hey I'm back

My CD4 are 651 now and viral load is less than 600 after 6months of taking Atripla.....and guess what I'm expecting a baby girl....hoooray...I can't wait for April so that I meet this little karate kid that kicks Me everyday.....I have healed even though I wish my baby had a father....I hope everyone is great

Love -A
Mommy you are my pillar...thanx for that

Offline Newpositive

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #15 on: February 16, 2014, 07:30:29 PM »
Hey Aprille,

I'm new here and I've just read your first and last post. I wish you could've seen the smile on my face by reading your last post. :) I'm glad that you've got your CD4 back up and that you're having a baby girl. That's soooo beautiful!!! I can tell how happy you are just by the Hoooooray! haha

I'm sorry about the father, but I'm sure your child will receive so much love.

I wish you and your child a happy life together ;)

Offline Aprille

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #16 on: March 05, 2014, 04:32:27 PM »
Hi..

Thanx for that,life has to go in either way....even though I now have a strong feeling that the father of my child might be poz....ohwell maybe his having a lot of stress.....my guts tells me he paid the people who does test....he works in a diamond mine here nd they need to provide medical test...I'm just saying anywhere...just a feeling his lips are bleached a little and I no some people on Arvs I have that.....nd he keeps telling me his negative over and over....I smell a rat.....I wish I could say I'm over him even after all the insults and the stigma he has towards me....I still have a soft spot for him...

Love -A
Mommy you are my pillar...thanx for that

Offline Theyer

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #17 on: March 30, 2014, 05:28:12 PM »
Great numbers sorry I missed your Post and please sweet heart find a soft spot for someone as strong as you
love
m
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Aprille

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #18 on: April 03, 2014, 08:04:15 PM »
Thanx Theyer

You are soon going to be uncles and aunties because my little Angel might come any time now......she was 3.3kg a week back when I went for final scan and she is doing good!today I went for blood test to check for Hb it has been a bit low....but I have been taking iron and ferrorus pills.......my EDD is the 20th of April I'm 38weeks.....I really can't wait now....even though the father wants to take her for DNA testing a week after she is born.....my poor baby.....
I hope all is well with everyone and thank you for having my back!
Kiss kiss -A
Mommy you are my pillar...thanx for that

Offline Jeff G

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #19 on: April 03, 2014, 08:06:57 PM »
Congratulations on the coming birth ! .

Offline Aprille

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #20 on: April 05, 2014, 05:16:17 PM »
Thanx Jeff G

I really can't wait.....even though I'm  scared of labour,I'll be doing it natural with no epidural its expensive this side....
Mommy you are my pillar...thanx for that

Offline Theyer

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #21 on: April 06, 2014, 07:29:21 AM »
Will your Mom be with you ?

And Aprille remember NO ONE takes your baby anywhere unless you feel 100% ok about it . Your baby your rules .  Mothers are FIERCE .
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Aprille

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #22 on: April 21, 2014, 05:59:50 AM »
Hey everyone

My little girl was born last week...she is so adorable...she has this big eyes and her smile just melts my heart.....I'm bit sad as I'm typing now I just found out that the father decided to disclose my status to people I mean how am I supposed to live in this world of stigma I'm not ready at all to face all the gossips....and these are the people I see almost everyday...I'm deeply hurt....why are some people so cruel....
Mommy you are my pillar...thanx for that

Offline Theyer

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #23 on: April 21, 2014, 04:58:47 PM »
Congrats congrats baby has arrived and is all healthy and everything , name is it Angel ?

Father is a no good fool with   the brain off a peanut who I doubt has ever thought off anyone but self , the fact that this boy can also be a Farther is one off God,s  works in progress.

You deal with it my sweet Darling with the Disdain it deserves , hold your head very very high and make sure everybody sees how beautiful this daughter is. If and when the Farther,s name comes up rock your head as if sad and say its so sad he could off had a career as a man and no more, why concentrate on him now the beautiful baby is here.

lots off love to you Granny and baby
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline mecch

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #24 on: April 21, 2014, 06:40:31 PM »
Congrats. 
About the father, I guess this is a far shot, but can you sue him? I suppose not. I wish you strength going forward that he does't cause too much havoc, and hope you don't get much crap from your community over this. Keep your head high.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Jeff G

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #25 on: April 21, 2014, 08:19:51 PM »
Im wishing you a beautiful life with you daughter .

Offline wolfter

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #26 on: April 21, 2014, 09:10:27 PM »
Congrats on the new baby. 

wolfie
productivity breeds content

Offline britchick

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #27 on: April 22, 2014, 12:59:12 PM »
Aprille

Congratulations on the birth of your little girl.You are blessed and I'm so glad that you are both okay.You are strong and so is that little baby!

 britchickxxx

Offline Aprille

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #28 on: May 06, 2014, 04:33:17 PM »
Wow thank you all

My baby has been keeping me busy....I stare at her all day long....she's just too adorable...you know being poz has taught me to be humble and forgiving.I look at life with a different eye....now that I'm a mommy I should those who choose to be negative and strive to finish my degree so that I get a better job and be able to provide for my Angel...I can't wait to date though..I need some love too...hahaha....but my pumpkin comes first!

Love -A
« Last Edit: May 06, 2014, 04:39:51 PM by Aprille »
Mommy you are my pillar...thanx for that

Offline Theyer

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Re: i do not know wat to do....please help
« Reply #29 on: May 06, 2014, 06:33:44 PM »
When you are ready to date there will be a Que dear girl, so make sure you are very picky, Great to read your Post very very warming , Best off the Best to you your Mum and off course Angel.
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

 


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