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Author Topic: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might  (Read 3400 times)

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Offline RobbyR

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Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« on: September 26, 2013, 05:18:45 PM »
Hey everyone, just wondering if anyone on here is bipolar or has knowledge of it, I recently started seeing a psychiatrist for my anxiety disorder which was a big step for me to do actually. For years I've had terrible anxiety & panic issues, but I've always felt there was more going on with me that I just wasn't aware of. For years, I have had these episodes where I would get really really pissed off for no reason, and be very irritable, snap at anyone around, and feel seething, uncontrolled rage boil inside me. Mostly I kept it inside, but sometimes I'd lash out, break things, cuss people out, or talk to myself to let off steam. I remember this from my teenage years. I guess I wrote it off as moodiness.

But after high school at age 21, I started getting very hypersexual, I would get on these episodes where for days on end all I would think about was sex, getting hookups, instant gratification, no matter how risky. I would walk the streets looking for sex, hookup with strangers online, some of whom were drug addicts, and put myself in dangerous situations. On some of these occasions, I would be around hard core drug use, and used drugs myself and on a couple of occasions nearly died from overdosing (all for sex).
It was almost like an addiction, but these periods would last for weeks and weeks on end. I was mostly "sane" during those periods, not delusional, but totally consumed by sex. This went on for about 8 years and to date I've had over 150-200 sex partners, most strangers. I am not proud of this at all. I know it's not normal.

Also, during that time, I would get these periods of feeling very "down", almost sad, where I'd feel hopeless, worthless, unattractive, & NO motivation at all. The down periods would not last as long as the hyperactive sexual periods, but they would be pretty prominent.

For about 4 years, I have been clean from drugs, and much less sexually active, since I've been on HIV meds, but I still have the problems of sleeping around too much, spending money I don't have on stuff I don't really need, & not thinking about consequences at all. Sometimes I can go for days and feel totally amped up, VERY angry, or happy, & just want to be the life of the party or hook up with as many people as possible. Recently, I hooked up with 4 guys in one week. I had what I think was a bad manic phase recently that lasted about 3 weeks, where I was hypersexual, very amped up, pissed for no reason, flying into rages, etc. It was mentally and physically exhausting.

Last year in winter I had a bad depressed period where I felt so sad and hopeless and shut in that I stayed in bed and watched Roseanne reruns for days and days on end. I felt totally unmotivated. It seems my down periods are way worse in winter than spring.

So, make a long story short, I didn't tell my psychiatrist any of this on my last session (which was my first visit to him) partly because I was ashamed, and partly because I was just scared to admit it all. And at that time I was feeling more stable so it didn't occur to me. I guess people have told me for so long that anxiety is my only problem that I just believed it. My psychiatrist told me on our last session that "I don't think your bipolar, because your not out manically having sex with tons of people"....I could have died right then and there, because that's exactly what I've been doing for years, when I feel amped up that is. Well, I will come clean with him completely next time, and maybe he can get to the bottom of this for me. I have been on Paxil for a few weeks, but it seems to have made my hyperactivity worse at times.

So do you guys think I may be bipolar? If so, bipolar I or II? I've never been hospitalized or anything, or seriously attempted/considered suicide, but I seem to get these strong mood swings spaced out over a few weeks or months.

Lastly, lately, I am getting these strange paranoid delusions also, of thinking people are out to get me, total strangers. I saw a guy talking on a cell phone the other day and I about freaked out because I thought he was a government agent spying on me. I drove home and holed up because I was so scared. This is more of a new symptom, and it worries me and makes me think I am borderline psychotic or something. But like I said, many times in between these mood shifts I feel mostly stable. Maybe I need a mood stabilizer, anyways, I hope my psych will not be mad that I was shy & didn't tell him all my symptoms on our first session I'll just tell him I was nervous. I wrote it all down so I can try and make a journal of my mood swings.

Thanks for listening, hope some on here can offer advice/insight, if this rings true to someone else or someone else has experienced what I have, then it helps to know that! Thanks again.
Started Atripla August, 2010.

Offline RobbyR

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2013, 05:19:41 PM »
Thanks again for listening! :)
Started Atripla August, 2010.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2013, 08:39:40 PM »
Hi Bobby . We cant diagnose you and any opinion on what the nature of your problems are would be guessing and not fair to you .

You did a good thing by admitting that you need to tell your doctor all of your history and what the current state is concerning your emotional health . Sometime the answers to our big complex problems have small simple solutions that you can do step by step , so you were right to admit that you are going to have to come clean and trust your doctor with the whole truth so that he is treating you with the proper information , its crucial for you to be honest with him just like you have been with us .

Offline oksikoko

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2013, 03:15:43 AM »
So, make a long story short, I didn't tell my psychiatrist any of this on my last session (which was my first visit to him) partly because I was ashamed, and partly because I was just scared to admit it all. And at that time I was feeling more stable so it didn't occur to me. I guess people have told me for so long that anxiety is my only problem that I just believed it.
[...]
Lastly, lately, I am getting these strange paranoid delusions also, of thinking people are out to get me, total strangers. I saw a guy talking on a cell phone the other day and I about freaked out because I thought he was a government agent spying on me.

Hey, Robby. For what it's worth, I have bipolar I (so they say). It's typical for bipolar people to "feel fine" or "stable" between episodes. During those periods we're likely to stop our medication (which I'm actually desperate to do right now - have to force it every day) and stop seeing medical professionals. Until the next episode...

No one here can diagnose you based on your story. Everyone has symptoms that read straight from the DSM sometimes, so it's dangerous to self-diagnose. However, from what you said, I believe you should talk to your psychiatrist (and tell him/her everything) and see what they think.

I was initially (years and years ago) diagnosed with several fun kinds of anxiety and personality disorders, which didn't really feel right (not that bipolar does either). I was medicated based on that which sent me hypermanic for a while. I did all sorts of crazy fun things. Lots of breaking of stuff. :D What was prescribed to me (and possibly you if they think you just have anxiety) is counter-indicated for people who are bipolar for that very reason. So. I wouldn't delay.

Regarding the delusions, I don't have any paranoia (thank God, it looks like a real pain to go through), but I do hear voices and have mild visual hallucinations from time to time. Not anymore, because I take an anti-psychotic for all this. That sounds scary, but that's just the name of the class. They even give it to unipolar depressed people, and there's a ton of those. To be honest, I miss some of the more fun parts of whatever's wrong with me - more weight on the 'stop taking your pills' side of things. But I resist. I can deal with me and like myself fine as I normally am, but other people can't and don't, and that's what matters in the end. I find this new guy too chipper, and he's a complete pushover, but I guess he's here to stay (for now).

Anyway, the best thing you could do is be honest with your psychiatrist. All they have to go on is what they see and what you tell them. I was in a mixed state (they say) when I saw my new psychiatrist, so my diagnosis was easy apparently. Even my speech was altered. It's not that simple for everyone unless they happen to see a psychiatrist while there are physical manifestations that match DSM criteria.

Good luck!

Edit: To answer your question, if you have had a single manic (as opposed to hypomanic) episode and show other symptoms of bipolar, that's bipolar I, not II. Bipolar II tends to include more frequent cycling. It's not a milder form - just different, and hypomania is not just 'low mania". Again, your psychiatrist is best positioned to help you figure this out - if you're even bipolar at all.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2013, 03:21:58 AM by oksikoko »
Code: [Select]
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (?) off treatment ☣ CD4 (?) off treatment
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1105
2013-05-23:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (-) 945
2013-02-25:                ☣ VL (-) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1123
2012-12-16: Enter Stribild
2012-11-20: HIV+           ☣ VL (→) 132,683      ☣ CD4 (→) 920
2012-04-01: HIV-
Dates in this signature file conform to ISO 8601. ;-)

If no one complains, nothing will ever change.

Offline RobbyR

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2013, 04:39:37 PM »
Thanks for the comments Jeff & oksikoko. I'm going to come clean to my psych about all this next time. It's like when I experience an episode I am not really aware of how bad it is at the time, only afterwards. For me, it's manically cleaning & scrubbing floors or out having sex with strangers or snapping people's heads off. I have been told I scare the hell out of people with my temper which kind of scares me. But in winter time, when I tend to be depressed more, I just shut down and stay in bed for days.

One thing I wonder about and is partially relevant to this forum is how having HIV is related to a mood disorder or something. I know some meds can make depression much worse. For me it was Complera I tried it last year and I went into one of the worst depressive/anxious periods ever. I was having MAJOR suicidal thoughts and I had to go back on Atripla. I've heard many say Atripla can make anxiety or depression worse but for me it doesn't seem to. Maybe people who have unipolar depression might have an issue, but for me most of my symptoms are on the manic/hypomanic side, and the depressive periods are less, so doesn't seem to be as relevant.

Lordy tho, that Complera was a terrible pill for me, it gave me BAD insomnia & terrible depression. But Atripla works great! I'm hoping to ditch the paxil I take now and try Zoloft which is a bit more activating maybe with some type of mood stabilizer if my psych thinks it necessary.
Started Atripla August, 2010.

Offline oksikoko

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2013, 04:57:07 PM »
Lordy tho, that Complera was a terrible pill for me, it gave me BAD insomnia & terrible depression. But Atripla works great! I'm hoping to ditch the paxil I take now and try Zoloft which is a bit more activating maybe with some type of mood stabilizer if my psych thinks it necessary.

Take this with a grain of salt and do talk to your psychiatrist. Zoloft has been accused of triggering mania in the bipolar. It certainly did in me. Among many other things, during my short stint on it, I became a rugby player for God's sake. No shit.

http://www.crazymeds.us/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Meds/Zoloft

"While Zoloft is no more likely to trigger mania than any other SSRI, due to that dopaminergic kick the symptoms it triggers are a lot worse. Zoloft just gets you way more agitated and sets of these nasty dysphoric manias in the bipolar, which can be a very harsh way to discover that one is bipolar. With the other SSRIs and SNRIs it’s a coin toss as to whether they’ll trigger euphoric manias that will send you on spending sprees or marrying people you just meet, or trigger dysphoric manias that make you destroy all the furniture in a room. But with Zoloft the odds are heavily in favor of the dysphoric mania. That may be why the poor little Zoloft lozenge quit shilling Zoloft so heavily for depression, and now primarily touts its efficacy for social anxiety, panic disorder, PTSD, and PMDD. Then again it could be that Zoloft is just testing better in studies for its other approved uses. In any event, that’s you need to be extra careful with Zoloft, more than most others antidepressants, when it comes to watching out for suicidal thoughts and behavior."
Code: [Select]
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (?) off treatment ☣ CD4 (?) off treatment
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1105
2013-05-23:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (-) 945
2013-02-25:                ☣ VL (-) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1123
2012-12-16: Enter Stribild
2012-11-20: HIV+           ☣ VL (→) 132,683      ☣ CD4 (→) 920
2012-04-01: HIV-
Dates in this signature file conform to ISO 8601. ;-)

If no one complains, nothing will ever change.

Offline RobbyR

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2013, 05:57:16 PM »
Thanks for the heads-up about Zoloft okisoko, a friend of mine has Bipolar II and told me he takes it with a mood stabilizer and it seems to work ok but you make good points. I certainly don't need more mania. Rugby, huh? Did you at least have fun while it lasted?  ;) For me, mania or hypomania when I experience it is like either being so sexual I can barely keep my dick in my pants, or obsessively cleaning the house & scrubbing floors until I can't see straight. It's totally exhausting. Not aware of it usually while it happens, but when it subsides, I'm like wow, no wonder I'm so damn tired, I just had an intense manic phase. I'm also starting to get these paranoid delusions of people following me or out to get me which kind of concerns me.

I'll just ask my psych. Maybe I should avoid Zoloft or all ssri's. I have heard some say they can take one with a mood stabilizer and do okay though.

One last thing..Awhile back, I took some Trazodone for a night or two, to help me sleep through an insomnia phase, & I noticed it gave me intense euphoria/sociability/manic feelings for several days. It's an older anti depressant but the side effects I had on it really seemed through the roof. It was then I started to realize I may be having mania. I've already had a couple of intense manic phases on paxil. Starting to realize that my issues were much deeper than just anxiety all along!
Started Atripla August, 2010.

Offline phillypinko

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2013, 10:56:23 PM »
Dude If you were high on drugs for weeks at a time you may want to check out a 12 step program. Just a hunch.

Offline RobbyR

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2013, 12:27:42 AM »
Dude If you were high on drugs for weeks at a time you may want to check out a 12 step program. Just a hunch.

I never said I was high on anything for weeks at a time. I've been clean for four years. And you, "dude", may want to check your judgmental attitude at the door. Just a hunch!
Started Atripla August, 2010.

Offline oksikoko

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #9 on: September 28, 2013, 12:32:40 AM »
Dude If you were high on drugs for weeks at a time you may want to check out a 12 step program. Just a hunch.

While I'm all for keeping all therapeutic options open, bear in mind it's not uncommon for a bipolar person (if that's the case here) to go on a weeklong binge of this or that without actually being addicted to this or that. The problem is not the substance, but rather the substance is a symptom of the mania and is interchangeable with any other substance - or non-substance. Sex, gambling and drag racing can suffice in a pinch. A 12-step program would address all the wrong things in that case and would ultimately probably not be of any help.

Or not. Amphetamine dependency can also mirror certain aspects of bipolar disorder. A professional can work all these details out with the OP.
Code: [Select]
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (?) off treatment ☣ CD4 (?) off treatment
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1105
2013-05-23:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (-) 945
2013-02-25:                ☣ VL (-) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1123
2012-12-16: Enter Stribild
2012-11-20: HIV+           ☣ VL (→) 132,683      ☣ CD4 (→) 920
2012-04-01: HIV-
Dates in this signature file conform to ISO 8601. ;-)

If no one complains, nothing will ever change.

Offline RobbyR

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #10 on: September 28, 2013, 12:46:59 AM »
Exactly oksikoko. I never used substances to a large extent anyways. Of course I did some, during extreme states, but it was occasional, and more a symptom of my state of mind than being a constant "user". People who haven't experienced mania or hypomanic states simply can't understand what they're like. For me, it was sex, shopping, rampant cleaning, bursts of anger followed by bad depressed phases. For others, it's drug use. I also tend to talk very rapidly according to friends occasionally. Some might think this is due to amphetamine use, it does look similar but anyone who knows how mania can be knows it's just a natural high you feel.
Started Atripla August, 2010.

Offline mecch

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #11 on: September 28, 2013, 07:03:33 AM »
RobbyR
Advice 1 - if you judge yourself and your actions, it is based on your moral register and may not take into account the wide variety of human behavior by people.
For example, as for the number of sex partners:
You are personally scandalised by the number you had in your early twenties over a several year period.  Thats ok if you personally don't want to live that way. HOwever keep in mind, plenty of gay guys, myself included, have had 200 partners each year.  For me certainly in the 90's when the backrooms opened again and then at the end of the decade online hookups also.  We weren' bipolar, we were horny slutty guys... Its not NECESSARILY a sign of mania, thats all I'm saying...

If its a sexuality that doesn't sit right with you, work on that.. 

What you do may not be so important ---  more important may be the imbalances in focus, obsession, mood. Like oksikoko said. 

You do seem to describe manic periods...

2 advice - be HONEST with your shrink and especially say the thing that is on the tip of your tongue and you don't want to say.  Shrinks, of all people, are not there to shame or judge...  They need the information, and they they shift it through their general expertise, and their observations of the patient.

Give yourself a break - don't judge the behaviors during the manic moments -- so muh you can't talk about them. Or they capture your attention more than the mood itself.  Challenge yourself to get a meta perspective - that gives you space to get an overview on the mood and engery swings that are driving the behaviors and feelings.    You said you often arent aware of being on a jag, so maybe that's one thing you wan to shoot for - ways to get awareness.

Maybe a bipolar diagnosis will help.  Maybe treatment for bipolar will help.


« Last Edit: September 28, 2013, 07:26:07 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline phillypinko

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #12 on: September 28, 2013, 11:38:38 PM »
I never said I was high on anything for weeks at a time. I've been clean for four years. And you, "dude", may want to check your judgmental attitude at the door. Just a hunch!
I forget exactly what you said. Maybe it was that you overdosed or something like that. Silly of me to think you are a drug addict when you overdosed. My bad!

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #13 on: September 28, 2013, 11:50:27 PM »
I forget exactly what you said. Maybe it was that you overdosed or something like that. Silly of me to think you are a drug addict when you overdosed. My bad!

Philly , as a person who suffers mental health issues your sarcasm and lack of empathy in this thread is troubling  . If you cant offer support without the snark please don't reply at all . This is a warning .

Robby , I'm recommending you ignore Philly's latest comment so we can move on with this thread .  ;) .
« Last Edit: September 29, 2013, 12:18:21 AM by Jeff G »

Offline intaglio

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #14 on: September 29, 2013, 06:03:41 AM »
RobbyR,

I'm no expert. All I can do is comment based on my POV. So judge what I say here accordingly.

Sex, drug use, cleaning are all actions. They can't be judged by themselves. Your therapist needs more info. Write a paragraph for each episode. Duration, emotional state, what troubled you about it, how you felt before, during and after, etc. It is very important to note external stress factors -school, home life, job, relationships, etc.

What your therapist needs to see is the pattern of behavior more than the behavior. They need to see if there are stress-triggers. They also need to know how much "in control" you felt vs. how much you actually were in control during these episodes.

Your actions taken alone cannot tell your therapist if you have bipolar tendencies or are just reacting poorly to stress. (Disclosure: I clean like a madman when life throws me stuff out of my control. Cleaning is my way of asserting control in my sphere of influence-it's like meditation, except everything smells pine-fresh  :P)

Some men use anger in situations where they feel societal pressure prevents them from expressing "non-masculine" emotions. So be aware that your episodes of anger may have other underlying emotional triggers than you being bipolar.

No episode of your life exists in a vacuum or is untouched by all that you have experienced before it. What you have are symptoms. Your actions can be the result of many things, some within your power to overcome. Others that color your reaction to stress that you are unaware of.

Through all this, remember you are calling the shots on your journey. If what your therapist says doesn't make sense, seek another opinion. But keeps seeking.
Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Offline oksikoko

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #15 on: September 29, 2013, 10:12:03 AM »
Agreed. I definitely am not pushing any diagnosis. Hell, I don't even really think I'm bipolar. They give out diagnoses like communion wafers these days.
Code: [Select]
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (?) off treatment ☣ CD4 (?) off treatment
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1105
2013-05-23:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (-) 945
2013-02-25:                ☣ VL (-) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1123
2012-12-16: Enter Stribild
2012-11-20: HIV+           ☣ VL (→) 132,683      ☣ CD4 (→) 920
2012-04-01: HIV-
Dates in this signature file conform to ISO 8601. ;-)

If no one complains, nothing will ever change.

Offline phillypinko

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #16 on: September 29, 2013, 03:04:30 PM »
Philly , as a person who suffers mental health issues your sarcasm and lack of empathy in this thread is troubling  . If you cant offer support without the snark please don't reply at all . This is a warning .

Robby , I'm recommending you ignore Philly's latest comment so we can move on with this thread .  ;) .
Making a joke about something so serious can take away some tension and be a way of reaching someone who needs help. You are way to judgmental and have to start reading between the lines. I know you have a resentment towards me but I suggest you be a professional and get over it.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #17 on: September 29, 2013, 03:10:27 PM »
Making a joke about something so serious can take away some tension and be a way of reaching someone who needs help. You are way to judgmental and have to start reading between the lines. I know you have a resentment towards me but I suggest you be a professional and get over it.

I gave you a warning not to come back into this thread with anything other than something helpful . You have ignored my warning before and I let it go but this time you are getting a time out for your effort .
« Last Edit: September 29, 2013, 03:14:19 PM by Jeff G »

Offline RobbyR

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #18 on: September 29, 2013, 08:50:07 PM »
Thanks Jeff for the supportive words. I won't dignify the totally ignorant & amazingly stupid & uninformed statements of the individual who commented here, who shall remain nameless. Suffice to say, I will of course confide in my psychiatrist & therapist about all of my concerns. I merely posted here because I was interested to see if others had gone through similar experiences such as me, with HIV, and mental issues. Some of the judgmental comments reflect how ignorant many still are about people who have such issues. Which is precisely why many (including myself) have not wanted (and still don't want) to seek help. For fear of being judged or ridiculed.

I don't know if I am bipolar, borderline, or what..But I know something is wrong, because these immense mood swings are not normal & I can sense this. And no it's not "stress" I hate when people say that. Stress doesn't make you spend all your money or go out and break things or be so depressed the next month you feel suicidal. No that's not stress..But yea some clarity one way or the other would be nice, it would let me get on with my life & maybe find the tools I need to get well, stop having these terrible mood swings, & get on with my life.
Started Atripla August, 2010.

Offline intaglio

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #19 on: September 30, 2013, 04:35:54 PM »
And no it's not "stress" I hate when people say that. Stress doesn't make you spend all your money or go out and break things or be so depressed the next month you feel suicidal. No that's not stress..

You are right stress alone doesn't make you do anything.

I mentioned it because it can amplify anxiety (which you mention dealing with) and can contribute to your vulnerability to succumb to behaviors you may later find troubling. Stress adds another layer of complexity to the mix of triggers. It has to be addressed along with everything else.

Stress is also a very generic term. What you find comforting, others may find horrific and vice versa. Situational triggers need to be addressed. Any diagnosis you receive will need to address whether or not stress-related triggers are a valid component of your struggle.
Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Offline RobbyR

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #20 on: September 30, 2013, 05:26:03 PM »
Update: I had my first meeting with a therapist today and told him all of my concerns. He seemed pretty nice & listened to me well. At first I was a bit guarded, because I hate thinking I'm being "judged" but then I thought, what the hell, it's his job, he's a therapist, so I pretty much just opened up to him. He was quite nice & calming.

He took a lot of notes, he said based on what I told him, he thinks I am probably bipolar. I wasn't shocked to hear it, but it was somewhat reassuring to finally open up to someone & have them tell me something definative. He advised me to open up to my psychiatrist fully, & if for some reason it doesn't work out with him, that he will help me to find another psychiatrist. He was quite helpful. So yeah I survived my first therapist visit. I was quite nervous about it, but it went ok. He suggested probably I'll have to be on mood stabilizers, but I was pleased to hear him talk about natural things I can maybe do to help with my symptoms too, like deep breathing, etc etc. Overall went well. Now just have to bite the bullet & come totally clean to my psychiatrist!
Started Atripla August, 2010.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #21 on: September 30, 2013, 05:31:12 PM »
Im really happy to read this update Robby . This a huge step forward for you , let the healing begin !

Offline BT65

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #22 on: October 01, 2013, 05:18:04 PM »
That's great, Robby.  It's always hard taking the important first step.  Good for you!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Pricho01

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Re: Anyone Have Bipolar? I Think I Might
« Reply #23 on: October 03, 2013, 09:43:35 PM »
Hi Robby,

Reading your initial and subsequent posts you reminded me.... of me! I have been going through psychiatric assessment and counseling for over 10 months now.

I have moments where I am intensely high, I get an idea in my head and need to tell people about it.... very high and don't really sleep... mostly though its depression and a feeling of worthlessness that overtakes me. It's interesting that with this disorder your mood can change rapidly. Literally from day to day or sometimes even over the course of a day.

I also thought people were talking about me on mobile phones and following me. So it sounds like there is a psychotic element to your disorder.

Initially I was diagnosed with bi-polar, then a mood disorder label was tacked on (schizoid-affective).

Like you, I also took drugs in the past, getting off them was a fight and I still feel urges today! My behaviour was also highly risky (sexually), a friend said to me recently she has never known anyone to live "so close to the edge". This really hit home, an external view can be really helpful. Can you talk to a close friend and ask for their viewpoint on your behaviour?

I am on Zyprexa now and it has really helped! I was resistant, but luckily I had a very patient psychiatrist who worked through that with me and I am so glad she did. It has been a real bonus for me.

As far as peoples judgements on here regarding previous/current drug use, I suggest that you pull your heads in.

You are in not in a position to make judgements. I bet if someone said.. "you fag you deserve AIDS" you would be very hurt and up in arms. This same principle applies here. Hypocritical behaviour demonstrates small mindedness... look up..... see the world...

All the best to you Robby. If meds are offered, take them and work through the initial side effects.... they fade with time!  ;)

Phil
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it! Sincerely, The Opportunist

 


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