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Author Topic: Help with Risk, very worried.  (Read 1454 times)

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Offline question67

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Help with Risk, very worried.
« on: November 25, 2013, 12:22:31 PM »
Hello,
    I am a male ,about 10 months ago received oral sex from a woman in a massage parlor , i also gave her oral at the clitoris for a minute or 2 at most.  I am very scared even after reading some posts because , in one sentence I see some say you had no risk then you say to test anyway.  I guess its confusing because if you had only oral sex ever, would you test for HIV?  Do I need to test?  I do not have any intercourse.  I do understand STD should be tested for.  What causes the most anxiety is when you have symptoms out of the ordinary and then you are deathly afraid to test. I do have guilt as well as this was a mistake and i have a girlfriend. I dont know what to do. Thank you for taking the time to help.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Help with Risk, very worried.
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2013, 12:37:57 PM »
There have been no fewer than three separate serodiscordant couples studies (where one person is HIV positive, the other negative.) These couples were tracked for three. five and ten years. The couples used condoms for penetrative vaginal and anal sex, but NO BARRIER at all for oral sex. Any kind of oral sex.

These studies yielded NO infections so its safe to say you did not have a risk for HIV .

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED HIV TESTING AT THIS TIME for this incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

You are having a classic case of HIV anxiety and worry over no risk sexual encounters . If you cant accept that you did not have a risk you can test at anytime . You do not need to test but can do so for peace of mind so you can put this behind you and move on . 

Offline question67

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Re: Help with Risk, very worried.
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2013, 12:48:09 PM »
Thank you so much Jeff.  Being this was no risk in your assessment its ok to be with my girlfriend?  I am just so stupid to have done this.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Help with Risk, very worried.
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2013, 12:58:30 PM »
There is no reason to fear transmitting a virus that you did not have a risk for in the first place . Its safe to move on now .

Offline question67

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Re: Help with Risk, very worried.
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2013, 02:14:07 PM »
Hi All, went to my doc because I just can take the anxiety.  Explained the scenario with him regarding oral sex and he said extremely unlikely , I did show him what he thought was foliculitis (never had that before) couple on my arm and one on my cheek but didnt think much of it and said it could just be anxiety.  He gave me the paperwork for the test and now I am really trying to just go and do it.  All , I have no one to talk to , I have convinced myself I may have it.  I do have an appt with therapist but not until late this month.  I know I have your assessment , no risk no test needed.  But what if's , was she seroconverting? things like that are just wreaking havoc with me. Please , I know you cant hand hold people like me , and I have just used up my 3 posts , but anything to help me , I would be so thankful.  I am sorry.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Help with Risk, very worried.
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2013, 02:17:33 PM »
Doubts and fears aren't facts. And there is absolutely nothing in either your "symptoms" or the science of HIV which affirms anything other than you did not have a risk for HIV.

Whatever is going on with you physically has nothing to do with HIV. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Help with Risk, very worried.
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2013, 06:24:21 AM »

But what if's , was she seroconverting?


It doesn't change the fact that you had no risk. Seriously.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline question67

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Re: Help with Risk, very worried.
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2013, 05:54:01 PM »
Thank you all for your help and getting this behind me.  Thank you Ann for answering that question , that helped a lot , and actually gave me the courage to test.  My doc gave me paperwork to test and i will do so tomorrow.  My appt. with psych doc is this week as well.  I am still out of my mind with fear and anxiety and all I can do is rely on the information given and wait for the results. 

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Help with Risk, very worried.
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2013, 06:39:11 AM »
Question,

Provided you haven't been having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with persons of unknown hiv status that you haven't mentioned, then you can be assured of a negative result.

You need to understand that it doesn't matter where a person works (ie massage parlour) or what you think you know about a person's hiv status. Unless you've tested together with them, you have no way of knowing.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline question67

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Re: Help with Risk, very worried.
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2013, 12:09:37 PM »
Thank you Ann.  Havent had intercourse of any kind for several years.  I was tested in early 2012 over oral , negative.  This was the only encounter so your assurance and the assurance of all the others here helps a lot.  I really didnt know if I should test with my regular doc or just an anonymous test because of the stigma I still hear about. But I decided just to go to my doc.  Thank you all , your help and comments are greatly appreciated.

Offline question67

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Re: Help with Risk, very worried.
« Reply #10 on: December 17, 2013, 03:56:02 PM »
Thank you everyone for your input and information.  Ann, Andy , Jeff, words do not describe my thanks to you , and what you do for this forum.  Tests all came back negative. No surprise to you I am sure , but I thought otherwise.  I hope each and everyone of you have a wonderful Christmas.  Thank you again.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Help with Risk, very worried.
« Reply #11 on: December 17, 2013, 04:03:24 PM »
You are very welcome . Best wishes forward .

 


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