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Author Topic: To every worried person out there. Read to feel better.  (Read 6217 times)

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Offline pleasewakemeup

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To every worried person out there. Read to feel better.
« on: October 24, 2006, 11:10:33 AM »
Hi all. First of all, I had a login/password here at aidsmeds and I remember what they were but I think my account expired so I couldn't log in and created a new account with my old login/password. So if any moderators think I am using multiple logins, that's that...

Anyway...

So, to every worried person out there who is scared s**tless about their HIV status, and stressing out big time about all the symptoms that they are having :

Take a deep breath and read on:

The reason I am writing this is because 2 years ago, I was in your shoes. I had a very brief but somewhat risky encounter with someone whose HIV status I didn't know. I started obsessing about my HIV status almost immediately after the incident.

It became so bad that I couldn't think of anything but my HIV status anymore. I knew that testing before 13 weeks didn't mean much since the results were not going to be conclusive. The more I searched the Internet the more I read about HIV symptoms. The more websites I went to, the more inaccurate and outdated information made me all confused. A million new terms, symptoms to worry about, and a tendency for OCD fuelled and fuelled my fear, till my life started to turn into HELL. Absolute misery.

Two weeks into worrying, I had a cold with all the regular cold/flu symptoms. Which also happen to be seroconversion sickness symptoms. Then I started examining my body for every possible sign. If I looked pale, I thought it was the HIV. If I had chills, I thought it was the HIV. I started getting cold sores all over my lips and mouth.. Guess what... that is a symptom too. But one thing I failed to do and I ask you to please please make sure you do : Listen to the people who know what they are saying here and don't give a s**t about symptoms. Symptoms have NO VALUE when determining one's HIV status. An HIV test 13 weeks after exposure IS THE way to determine your status. No symptom or the lack of symptoms will MEAN ANYTHING regarding your HIV status.
Actually, to make things worse, your body will play a nasty game on you:
Think about it.. What does HIV do ? It infects immune system cells. By doing that it impairs the immune system. That opens the door for all sorts of infective agents like viruses and bacteria to easily infect your body and cause illness. In fact the infections dont need to happen AFTER HIV infection. We all have a lot of viruses in our systems and our immune system keeps them all under control. When the immune system is weakened, they may find the opportunity to come out (or cause symptoms) thus in case of HIV+ people, those are called OPPORTUNISTIC infections. The early symptoms of HIV infection are mostly because of these viruses and bacteria not being suppressed as effectively anymore due to impaired immune system. NOW, do you know what else [temporarily] weakens your immune system ? one keyword here : STRESS... The more you stress out about your HIV status, the more you'll weaken your immune system and the effects will MIMIC HIV infection symptoms. Too much stress and the HSV-1 in your system will start causing canker sores in your mouth. Too much stress and you will be more prone to the cold and flu. Too much stress and you will even have rashes or possibly warts (HPV virus surfacing). All also symptoms of HIV infection.
Too much stress and you will lose your appetite. You will lose weight. Too much stress and you will feel tired all the time. Too much stress and if you do something crazy and get a tcell count, your number WILL be low. Stress and anxiety supresses the immune system. That is a fact. Too much stress and you will wake up sweating in the middle of the night if it is really bad and your stress is causing too much REM sleep/over dreaming/increased cortisol levels. You will have muscle stiffness.. All very well known results of stress, which also happen to be HIV and HIV seroconversion sickness symptoms.

So, the reason I am writing this after 2 years of testing negative for HIV is because I remember how miserable the wait felt and by making myself so miserable I hurt myself psychologically and physically over a virus that I didn't have. It is really not worth it. I know it is easier said than done, but I understand that you are worried. Possibly scared s**tless. Do you want to do something good for yourself ? Don't torture yourself even more by symptom seeking. Don't fuel your fears by web surfing. Don't weaken your immune system by excessive stress and worry. Do yourself a favor and remember : It is probably very unlikely that you are HIV infected anyway but even if you are HIV+ your symptom hunting, web surfing, depression is not going to help or change anything. Just calm down, STOP web surfing about HIV, stop reading the symptoms, stop examining every tiny part of your body for symptoms. Keep yourself busy, spend a lot of time with friends, and do things you enjoy doing to keep negative thoughts away and then get tested 13 weeks after your last risky exposure.
That result will be conclusive. It will very likely be negative.

WORRY ABOUT REAL THINGS NOT THINGS YOU IMAGINE.

Don't torture yourself by worrying about HIV unless you DO, ACTUALLY get an HIV+ result.

 Just hang in there. Your body and mind is too valuable to torture over the fear of a virus that you very very probably don't have.

Best of karma to all of you.


PS. Greetings to everyone (the regulars) who remember me from 2 yrs ago. Gosh, some people here have the patience of a saint.  Thanks a lot one more time.
« Last Edit: October 24, 2006, 06:04:50 PM by pleasewakemeup »

 


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