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Author Topic: Stephen Crohn, "Man Who Can't Catch AIDS" Commited Suicide  (Read 2063 times)

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Offline socalpoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 80
Stephen Crohn, "Man Who Can't Catch AIDS" Commited Suicide
« on: September 16, 2013, 07:44:57 PM »
Hey Sharing this from Queerty. Stephen Crohn, "Man Who Can't Catch AIDS" Commited Suicide Out of Survivor's Guilt. I didn't know anything about this man, a very sad story and makes me want to learn more, especially his contribution to breakthroughs on HIV.

http://www.queerty.com/the-gay-man-who-cant-catch-aids-commited-suicide-out-of-survivors-guilt-20130916/
Diagnosed Jan. 22, 2011
feb/11 cd4 547, cd4% 37, vl 527
mar/11 cd4 650, cd4% 37, vl 97
may/11 cd4 698, cd4% 37, vl 303
jul/11 cd4 744, cd4% 39, vl 239
aug/12 cd4 675, cd4% 39, Vl 42
Jun/13 cd4 594, cd4% 38, Vl 1860
Jul/3/13 started Stribild
Aug/13 cd4 758 cd4% 43, vl ??

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,727
Re: Stephen Crohn, "Man Who Can't Catch AIDS" Commited Suicide
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2013, 10:36:28 AM »

     Hi socalpoz  ,
                                 That is indeed a sad ending to a great Man .
      Unfortunately  Survivors guilt happens to us common folk too.
       I have known several people who have decided to end their
  lives after partners have died .
   
                                                                     Be well ,    Weasel

     P.s. Having lost 5 friends this year , I ask myself why am I still going strong ?
      I pray morning and night my health stays as good as it is .   
" Live and let Live "

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,752
Re: Stephen Crohn, "Man Who Can't Catch AIDS" Commited Suicide
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2013, 11:28:01 AM »
I never understood the emotions/actions behind this mindset.  It was only in recent years (mostly after joining these forums) that I've come to realize that I've been suffering from this for years.

It became a way of life to watch and witness so many loved ones dying.  When I lost the other Gregg, it was like someone did a lobotomy on me.  I literally had no feelings left.  I was numb for the longest time.  He and I were besties since grade school.  Many people thought we were a couple because of the bond we had.   I can never erase the horrid image of him the last time I saw him before his passing.

He was the most gorgeous person I've ever known.  Both physically and personally.  I was always the sickly one and I guess we both figured I'd exit first.  He always did everything to extreme and I guess he did so with exit.  You'd think after almost 20 years that I'd let this ease up, but I think of him several times a day as I do many of the others.

Suddenly, it was just Bill and I left.  I guess in many ways, we were constantly aware of that.  When he became sick and died quickly, I was out of this world lost.  I can't even describe it correctly.  I became an auto-pilot person who was simply doing the motions of living.

I made the decision to join them.  I actually became happy for a while knowing my grief would soon end.  I wasn't fortunate enough to pass quickly. 

Sorry, now I'm rambling.  This is just a very personal and emotional topic. 

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline socalpoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 80
Re: Stephen Crohn, "Man Who Can't Catch AIDS" Commited Suicide
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2013, 03:33:30 PM »
Weasel & Wolfie thank you so much for sharing! In reading your posts they brought me to tears as I remember my friends I had lost in the 80's. I guess I have been so fortunate due to the advances in medication to have not lost anymore friends to HIV/AIDS, and a bit naive to forget the realness of survivor's guilty. I am sorry for your losses!
I am so thankful to this forum as it helps me deal with my diagnosis! Best wishes to you my friends!
Diagnosed Jan. 22, 2011
feb/11 cd4 547, cd4% 37, vl 527
mar/11 cd4 650, cd4% 37, vl 97
may/11 cd4 698, cd4% 37, vl 303
jul/11 cd4 744, cd4% 39, vl 239
aug/12 cd4 675, cd4% 39, Vl 42
Jun/13 cd4 594, cd4% 38, Vl 1860
Jul/3/13 started Stribild
Aug/13 cd4 758 cd4% 43, vl ??

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,727
Re: Stephen Crohn, "Man Who Can't Catch AIDS" Commited Suicide
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2013, 08:40:26 PM »
Weasel & Wolfie thank you so much for sharing! In reading your posts they brought me to tears as I remember my friends I had lost in the 80's. I guess I have been so fortunate due to the advances in medication to have not lost anymore friends to HIV/AIDS, and a bit naive to forget the realness of survivor's guilty. I am sorry for your losses!
I am so thankful to this forum as it helps me deal with my diagnosis! Best wishes to you my friends!

   socalpoz  ,   We're not alone here on loosing friends . Never think anyone here is not here for the same
thing you came for ! We need to know that we are part of a bigger picture . Sometimes that picture is not so
pretty , often it is a wonderful view !
   I can look back and KNOW who the man was that gave me HIV , later , much much much later to turn to AIDS  :o
 It makes no difference now . why should it !    30 years has passed , He is long dead , I've had a great life . Better than most .  Not rich by any means , But we sure as Hell live way better than the average couple does . I do with out NOTHING !    Maybe having a loving Husband , although jealous as they come , I'm treated to what ever my whims may be  :-X   
" Live and let Live "

Offline cicero

  • Member
  • Posts: 68
Re: Stephen Crohn, "Man Who Can't Catch AIDS" Commited Suicide
« Reply #5 on: September 17, 2013, 10:08:40 PM »
This is such a tragedy. When anyone is in a mindset to believe that only suicide will relieve their pain or other situations, it is very sad. The comments on Queerty show little compassion for someone who saw many people die of something that he "should" have too, but did not because of winning the genetic lottery. If only the power of seeing how much help his participation in research has provided to people living with HIV and AIDS pulled him more strongly than the sadness that he lived with having lost so many friends. He is at peace now, at least, and I hope those who still live that knew and loved him find comfort. :(
"How could this happen to lovely me?" -Jacqueline Susann

Offline cicero

  • Member
  • Posts: 68
Re: Stephen Crohn, "Man Who Can't Catch AIDS" Commited Suicide
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2013, 10:15:15 PM »
I never understood the emotions/actions behind this mindset.  It was only in recent years (mostly after joining these forums) that I've come to realize that I've been suffering from this for years.

It became a way of life to watch and witness so many loved ones dying.  When I lost the other Gregg, it was like someone did a lobotomy on me.  I literally had no feelings left.  I was numb for the longest time.  He and I were besties since grade school.  Many people thought we were a couple because of the bond we had.   I can never erase the horrid image of him the last time I saw him before his passing.

He was the most gorgeous person I've ever known.  Both physically and personally.  I was always the sickly one and I guess we both figured I'd exit first.  He always did everything to extreme and I guess he did so with exit.  You'd think after almost 20 years that I'd let this ease up, but I think of him several times a day as I do many of the others.

Suddenly, it was just Bill and I left.  I guess in many ways, we were constantly aware of that.  When he became sick and died quickly, I was out of this world lost.  I can't even describe it correctly.  I became an auto-pilot person who was simply doing the motions of living.

I made the decision to join them.  I actually became happy for a while knowing my grief would soon end.  I wasn't fortunate enough to pass quickly. 

Sorry, now I'm rambling.  This is just a very personal and emotional topic. 

Wolfie

Wolfter I don't presume to understand at what you describe feels like. I don't know you but I'm glad you are alive and I guarantee those you've lost would be pleased to know that you carry on. I hope you find comfort in that. I don't mean at all to diminish the feelings of loss, emptiness, or sadness that comes with seeing people we love pass away. "Beating" this disease is the best way to honor those whose fight came to an end. :) I am glad, like weasel, for this forum as someone new to this diagnosis, because I see how people have fought and lived for decades alongside those who have for years, months, weeks.
"How could this happen to lovely me?" -Jacqueline Susann

Offline curious1here

  • Member
  • Posts: 29
Re: Stephen Crohn, "Man Who Can't Catch AIDS" Commited Suicide
« Reply #7 on: September 24, 2013, 04:23:16 AM »
R.I.P

There must have been more going on in his life. I doubt it was all to do with survivors guilt after reading his story. The comments on queerty are nasty.

 


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