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Author Topic: Standard STD/HIV Advice for Women  (Read 1751 times)

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Offline blacknsexy2013

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Standard STD/HIV Advice for Women
« on: September 15, 2013, 01:50:21 PM »

I hope I am not infringing upon this site because I see more posts from men then women. I do hope that I can gain some sound advice.

I am a 30 Yr Black American woman and I realize that the HIV rates among Black women in the US is relatively high and I wanted to gauge my risk assessment and see what testing window I need to utilize. I also hope that my post may assist other women who come to the site.

I do not usually engage in stupid behavior, but I did. I had 7 instances of unprotected vaginal sex with a 47 yr old Black male co-worker between Aug-Sept  14, 2013. We knew what we were doing (period). There has been heavy flirtation between us for a year and we did discuss STD's and HIV prior.   His medical history is Multiple Sclerosis and Asthma, he takes pain medication and a daily asthma treatment, and he said he had a vasectomy in his 20s. Yet, after our last encounter, on Friday, he revealed that he was married and the guilt was starting to wear him down.  I thought OMG I was a mistress, not cool. He explained that this is his second affair, the 1st being when he was 26 and then me. He said he has been faithful until now. 

Well, it has been broken off, naturally! I told him that I was going to the dr. ASAP and he took that into offense. He said, I would never endanger your life. I thought, dude, your married and I am stupid. Wow.

My plan of action:

This week get tested for all basic STDs-gonorrhea, chlamydia, trich. Get a pap smear and wait at least 6 weeks for a preliminary HIV test. I will keep a close pregnancy watch, just in case the vasectomy was not true.

The only symptoms I have had are a classic cold (congestion, pressure on the ears, mild sore throat, minor cough, sinus drainage) No high fevers or rash. He, too is getting over a sinus infection!

PS- I was last tested in Dec 2011 for everything! Therefore the timing is right. I know, condoms, condoms, condoms. 

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Standard STD/HIV Advice for Women
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2013, 02:18:54 PM »
You did what you can do under the circumstances . You can test at 6 weeks and again at 3 months to confirm the results .

You pretty much are doing what we would advise and that's get checked for all STD and test at the appropriate time . 

Offline blacknsexy2013

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Re: Standard STD/HIV Advice for Women
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2015, 06:46:04 PM »
On Tuesday, December 9, 2014, I started coughing and feeling a little achy and cold. The next day, the cough was worse and my temperature hovered around 98.99 to 99.5. By Thursday I had nasty congestion, a full fledged cough (dry), headache, no appetite, and I just wanted to lie down. That night my temperature reached 100 degree. I stayed home from school on Friday and my temperature reached 102. I slept most the day, I woke a few times to drink Arnold Palmers and water. I took Ibuprofen twice that day. By the evening, my temperature went down and by Saturday it held steady at 98.8. The congestion went down and my nose became a leak faucet. I am almost through a box of Kleenex. I was finally able to eat soup. My temperature fluctuated between 97.6-98.3.

In the recent weeks, I have had a few nights of night sweats and constant lymph node swelling in my throat and ear and sinus pressure.

I am  nervous because one of my close girlfriend's made the comment that I got sick a couple of weeks after having sex with an ex i decided to get back with. We started sleeping together in early November and we have used condoms and to my knowledge I do not think there was any type of breakage.

My ex and I had a nasty breakup in June. I cheated!  I used condoms the other guy. I last tested for HIV in late July and had a a herpes test in mid November because a former boyfriend tested positive for HSV 2. The HIV test in July and Herpes Test in November came back negative.

When we decided to give it another go in November, I stipulated that we should use condoms. I had not slept with anyone else between June until November, my ex claims he had a few bj's but no full on intercourse. Until we are both tested by our prospective doctor's I thought condoms were the best course of action and we always used them during our relationship to prevent pregnancy.

My friend is implying he may have given me something more than the flu. I keep telling her that we work with teenagers (I am a high school teacher) who have been sick with any and everything. Several of my students have missed school because of the flu, colds, mono, enterovirus. You name it. Also, this flu season is rather nasty.

I think I left myself susceptible to the flu/cold (even with the flu shot) based on working 14-16 hours trying to grade and plan. Not eating throughout the day and not drinking enough water.

If there is any reason to go to a doctor for any form of testing, STD or pregnancy. Please let me know.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Standard STD/HIV Advice for Women
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2015, 06:53:51 PM »
Please only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here .

If you had protected anal and vaginal sex you have not had a risk for HIV . Please read our lesson testing in case you ever do have a risk. 


Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI.Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Offline blacknsexy2013

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Re: Standard STD/HIV Advice for Women
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2015, 11:47:58 PM »
Thank you for the prompt response. I have been religious with condoms for vaginal insertive sex, but not for oral. It is oral without ejaculation and i have read the risk is rather low. I will keep sticking to the condoms and try to acknowledge that this is a nasty flu season. Even with the flu shot, I did get sick but so did many of my students. I will keep you posted on my results.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Standard STD/HIV Advice for Women
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2015, 08:51:40 AM »
If the oral sex is your only concern you should expect a negative result . 


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