Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
April 17, 2014, 09:00:37 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 619980
  • Total Topics: 46708
  • Online Today: 273
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 4
Guests: 261
Total: 265

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: This will be embarrassing  (Read 3368 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline darryaz

  • Member
  • Posts: 450
This will be embarrassing
« on: September 11, 2013, 11:31:58 AM »
I agreed to go on a date tonight with a cute young guy who is WAY too young for me and WAY out of my league.  I have no idea what he sees in me.  (He knows I'm not rich enough to be a sugar daddy).

We had planned on dinner and a movie but he texted me this morning asking if we can go bowling instead of seeing the movie.

The problem:  I suck at bowling.  Even when I used to do it fairly regularly I wasn't any good.  And I haven't been for at least 8 years - maybe longer.

My poor date is going to end up giving a bowling LESSON.

Oh well..........

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 10,712
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2013, 11:37:52 AM »
Hey try not to be embarrassed about the age difference. Embarrassment doesn't help any date, same age or not.
He sounds wise enough to know that bowling is better than a movie date, because its social.
Also dinner is not always a good idea if there is unequal resources, also being older, you might fee like you have to pay and he might be more of a 50-50 guy.
Sounds like he has a head on his shoulders, at least.
Just be a little embarrassed if you suck at bowling.  Otherwise, play the date by ear and have an open mind. If he's good company at the minimum it will be a pleasant evening, even if you discover theres no romance in the cards.
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 23,844
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2013, 11:57:01 AM »
Darry, you are listening to your high school voice of death way to much as in you're not the right this or that, it's too big, it's too small, you're not enough and all that other tired old stuff. Dump it overboard.

Tell the guy you're looking forward to seeing him and may have to depend on him for a bowling tutorial since it's been a long time since you've done it. He's not blind. He knows you're older. Let him discover you as you are. Being yourself is what you will do best. Let him see what he sees and think what he thinks. That kind of freedom in a dating situation can help keep things moving.

So just enjoy yourself and let the chips fall where they may. And we are expecting a report.

Just keep going!

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline darryaz

  • Member
  • Posts: 450
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2013, 12:21:21 PM »
Darry, you are listening to your high school voice of death way to much

Andy, you are EXACTLY right!!!  It almost feels like I'm in high school again.  It takes a lot to get back into dating after avoiding it for a while (I haven't really dated much since my brain surgery in 2010).  But it's definitely time to "get back on the horse".

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,017
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2013, 04:18:01 PM »
I see nothing but opportunity here...Tell him you are horrible at bowling and will need some lessons, make it fun. Have him show you the correct way to hold the ball by having him stand behind you and make him reach around :) and on, and on..

Young guys can be alot of fun. Be yourself.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%
8/9/12, CD4 not taken, UD.
2/13/12, CD4- 904, UD 42%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline mitch777

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,026
  • wish i were here
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2013, 04:39:40 PM »
I see nothing but opportunity here...Tell him you are horrible at bowling and will need some lessons, make it fun. Have him show you the correct way to hold the ball by having him stand behind you and make him reach around :) and on, and on..

Young guys can be alot of fun. Be yourself.

-Will

I knew this ^ was coming. ;)
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,556
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2013, 05:20:14 PM »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline mitch777

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,026
  • wish i were here
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2013, 05:36:18 PM »
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,017
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2013, 06:03:02 PM »


Darryaz, jsut ignore the clowns up there ^ They are just jellz that they cant attract young guys  8)
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%
8/9/12, CD4 not taken, UD.
2/13/12, CD4- 904, UD 42%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,556
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2013, 06:11:31 PM »

They are just jellz that they cant attract young guys  8)

No, weez jus moar wize.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline mitch777

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,026
  • wish i were here
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2013, 06:18:56 PM »
No, weez jus moar wize.
;)
Do you bowl Wumpalina?
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,556
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2013, 06:26:48 PM »
When I attended Penn State (Go Nittany Lions!) I was aghast that a certain amount of athletics were required of all students. I took bowling my first semester, and I can at least say that I wasn't the worst in the class.

Tennis the next semester was another story.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline mitch777

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,026
  • wish i were here
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2013, 06:35:16 PM »
my best "sport" as a youngin' was ping pong. I also did well in gymnastics. total body flips believe it or else. the only broken bone I had came from playing football (neighborhood game), and yes it was tackle! I reached for the guy and his foot hit my thumb. it was a 3 mile bike ride home on gravel roads. Mom feels guilty to this day. :)

ps- my apologies to Darry for the hijack.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2013, 06:42:39 PM by mitch777 »
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline drewm

  • Member
  • Posts: 999
  • Mmmmmm Hmmmmmm!
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2013, 07:35:11 PM »
Just be yourself...bowler or not. This guy is really interested in getting to know you in a social setting...not how you bowl.  ;)
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,017
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2013, 08:59:10 PM »
and yes it was tackle! I reached for the guy and his foot hit my thumb. it was a 3 mile bike ride home on gravel roads. Mom feels guilty to this day. :)


PLEASE NANCY MAN UP!  ::) When I was a kid I was playing tackle football and was dragged across of the broken bottom part of one of those 32oz thick GLASS coca cola bottles(most of you youngins wont remember those bottles), and had to have have 132 stitches and undergo surgery to repair muscle.  ::)

Darry... this thread is all about you and not us, so ...

Go..be yourself, have fun. If this young guy invited you out, then clearly he already likes you! If it is only a one time thing, then so be it, go have fun!! No one says you ahve to marry the kid!! You deserve this so do it with no reservations ;)

*but let us know every detail afterwards :-*
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%
8/9/12, CD4 not taken, UD.
2/13/12, CD4- 904, UD 42%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline darryaz

  • Member
  • Posts: 450
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #15 on: September 12, 2013, 03:02:55 AM »
Since there were 2 requests for a follow up, here goes......

First of all, the date began at 3:00pm on Wednesday.  It is now 2:00am Thursday and I just got home.  So clearly it went VERY well.

I lucked out at the bowling alley.  The group 2 lanes over had a player who was FAR worse than me.  I actually did amazingly well.  I broke 100 in 3 of 4 games and had my highest bowling score of all time - 129.

I had not intended to disclose my HIV status as this was a first date and we're still a VERY long way from any intimacy.  However, the opportunity presented itself so I went for it.  The response was more positive than I could have possibly expected.

We will be seeing each other again on Friday.

Thanks for all the advice and support!!!  I guess I'm officially back in the dating pool.

Offline darryaz

  • Member
  • Posts: 450
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #16 on: September 12, 2013, 03:06:43 AM »
Oh, and for Ms. P - all the belongings I took on the date (including my wallet) returned home with me.  Which is more than I can say for that poor sap in the Frankfurt airport (sorry, couldn't resist). ;D

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #17 on: September 12, 2013, 04:16:58 AM »
You know, the age distance between myself and my boyfriend of two years is 22 years.

He is also HIV Negative (as of two weeks ago - it's not like I follow him around).

We have a  lot in common, and a lot not. And it's not a gulf that divides us completely. At least not now.

He loves me. He worries about me. And I love and worry about him. His wages are four times mine. He pays for dinner most of the time. He paid for our last pet's euthanasia, and paid for the pet after that.

No matter what the outcome, don't be afraid to open your arms out and do a trust-fall from time to time. Hurts like shitbags when you roadrash yourself. But the times you don't are priceless.

Best of bowling to you both.


"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,043
  • I love buying Furnature.
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #18 on: September 12, 2013, 05:21:48 AM »
Good for you , great outcome for a first date , make us all green with envy .
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 10,712
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #19 on: September 12, 2013, 06:18:02 AM »
No fair bragging....  ;D
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline mitch777

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,026
  • wish i were here
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #20 on: September 12, 2013, 08:55:27 AM »
Thanks for the update Darry.  :)
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Online wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,024
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #21 on: September 12, 2013, 09:24:50 AM »
Glad all went well.  The good thing about the entire disclosure thing is that eventually, it'll be like a pair of old shoes that you still enjoy wearing. 

Wolfie
Judging someone does not define them, it defines you. 

True peace is not merely the absence of war, it is the presence of justice.

Offline drewm

  • Member
  • Posts: 999
  • Mmmmmm Hmmmmmm!
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #22 on: September 12, 2013, 09:37:35 AM »
Great report!  ;)
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline darryaz

  • Member
  • Posts: 450
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #23 on: September 12, 2013, 10:03:15 AM »
You know, the age distance between myself and my boyfriend of two years is 22 years.

My last boyfriend was 18 years younger than me.  I figured this guy was around the same.  I actually hadn't bothered to ask his age before last night.

Turns out he is 22 - only 9 days older than my son.  So 25 years younger than me.  It's funny, I didn't notice  the age difference when we were together.  It's when we're NOT together that the doubts start creeping in.

This morning I mentioned to my son that I went on a date with a guy his age and he thinks it's cool that the old man is able to "slam" (his word) someone so young (I didn't tell him there hasn't been any slamming.....yet)

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,017
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #24 on: September 12, 2013, 06:18:26 PM »
My last boyfriend was 18 years younger than me.  I figured this guy was around the same.  I actually hadn't bothered to ask his age before last night.

Turns out he is 22 - only 9 days older than my son.  So 25 years younger than me.  It's funny, I didn't notice  the age difference when we were together.  It's when we're NOT together that the doubts start creeping in.

This morning I mentioned to my son that I went on a date with a guy his age and he thinks it's cool that the old man is able to "slam" (his word) someone so young (I didn't tell him there hasn't been any slamming.....yet)

And I am the token chicken hawk around here?  ::)

Good for you Darry!
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%
8/9/12, CD4 not taken, UD.
2/13/12, CD4- 904, UD 42%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline ds4146

  • Member
  • Posts: 314
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #25 on: September 12, 2013, 09:57:20 PM »
And I am the token chicken hawk around here?  ::)
In order for that to be true, your equipment must be fully functioning for the flight and dive. Otherwise you are correct, you are just a token.

Offline darryaz

  • Member
  • Posts: 450
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #26 on: September 13, 2013, 12:34:48 PM »
And I am the token chicken hawk around here?  ::)

A hetero friend of mine who only dates MUCH younger girls explained the attraction to much younger people to me like this:

"Their body parts are all where we remember ours used to be."

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,556
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline darryaz

  • Member
  • Posts: 450
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #28 on: September 13, 2013, 01:48:20 PM »
Vanna White's teenage son is 'exploring a gay relationship' with Hare Krishna monk twice his age

This doesn't seem all that scandalous.  Probably because either a 19 year old or a 34 year old is young to me.

I think they make an adorable couple.



The Hare Krishna part seems a bit weird, but it takes all kinds, right?

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,017
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #29 on: September 13, 2013, 08:11:52 PM »
Vanna's son is extremely good looking. I think it's kinda cool he is experimenting with a monk, I mean not many people can say that (ok, other than MissP).

-W
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%
8/9/12, CD4 not taken, UD.
2/13/12, CD4- 904, UD 42%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline darryaz

  • Member
  • Posts: 450
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #30 on: September 14, 2013, 06:21:29 AM »

Offline darryaz

  • Member
  • Posts: 450
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #31 on: October 16, 2013, 01:29:33 AM »
I'm feeling very lucky right now.  In addition to not caring about my HIV status, the guy I mentioned earlier in this thread also doesn't care about my complete lack of coordination and skill.

Tonight wasn't our first pool game together, but it was definitely one of the worst I ever played.  And there were REALLY good pool players at the next table who kept rolling their eyes every time I took a shot.

Oh well, we had a good time anyway  :D

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,180
  • 30 Years Poz
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #32 on: October 16, 2013, 12:14:04 PM »
Hey Darry,

The only advice I'll offer, is to forget everyone around you, including what they may think, because all that really matters, is the bond the two of you are creating.  I imagine you would not let any other person disturb your dates with this guy, so be careful that you are not that person.

Joe
Life is what happens, when you are busy making other plans.

Though you may be only one person in the entire world, to one person, you may be the entire world.

I wish to become half the man, that my dog thinks I am.

Remember me with simple acts of kindness and I will live forever.

Offline mitch777

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,026
  • wish i were here
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #33 on: October 16, 2013, 02:07:55 PM »
Darry,

I played pool with Kenny before we got together. I was pretty bad but it didn't stop him from sticking with me for 19 years. :)

Sounds like you are having a great time!

m.
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline darryaz

  • Member
  • Posts: 450
Re: This will be embarrassing
« Reply #34 on: October 16, 2013, 02:19:10 PM »
Sounds like you are having a great time!

Definitely!!!!

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.