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Author Topic: frottage/penetration  (Read 1316 times)

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Offline enka

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frottage/penetration
« on: August 01, 2013, 04:23:22 AM »
Hi.  I'm writing about an encounter I had with another man 2 weeks ago.  I was grinding my penis against his anus with quite a bit of pressure.  There was never any point where my penis slid in (as it does when it fully penetrates past the sphincter), but I was applying quite a bit of pressure and at one point it looked like my tip was covered by his anal opening.  There was still some resistance againt my penis, and I removed it before it went in anymore.

I honestly walked away from this incident not thinking I had put myself at any significant risk, but then I learned that soon afterwards this other man came down with "classic" ARS symptoms: fever, headache, sore throat, and losing 10 lbs.  I'm now concerned that if he was recently infected and if the tip of my penis came into contact with a mucosal membrane, there is a risk of infection.

This happened 2 weeks ago, and (while I know symptoms mean nothing) I've experienced mild headaches and a slight increase in body temperature (nothing above 99.0).  Any risk assessment/advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

Offline Ann

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Re: frottage/penetration
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2013, 04:40:26 AM »
Enka,

You didn't penetrate him in any real sense, and therefore you didn't have a risk. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it.

You do realise, don't you, that you need to assume anyone you are with is potentially hiv positive - and potentially in the early stages of infection when he or she may be at their most infectious.

When you assume this, you need to protect yourself accordingly by using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse - and not doing anything you're uncomfortable with. It's no use freaking out after the fact when you hear something about the other person's hiv status.

While you don't need to test over this specific incident, you should be having a full sexual health check up at least once a year - twice is better if you're very active.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER FROTTAGE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline enka

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Re: frottage/penetration
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2013, 04:21:56 PM »
Thank you, Ann.  Of course you're right about what to assume regarding a partner, but this whole incident has me second-guessing whether there was some point when frottage became penetration without me knowing it.

I also have a question about the rash that appears with ARS.  Right around the time my body temperature was slightly elevated, I noticed maybe 8-10 red spots on my chest and abdomen (there might have been more, but just less visible in my chest hair).  They did not itch, and they blanched (lost their redness) when I stretched/pressed them (but then came right back after I stopped pressing).  They all disappeared in 2-3 days.  Is this at all consistent with primary infection rashes?  I'm just now concerned that the rash, headaches (which I still have) and slightly elevated body temperature could have been mild symptoms of seroconversion.


Offline RapidRod

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Re: frottage/penetration
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2013, 04:47:20 PM »
Your rash has nothing to do with ARS, you never had an exposure.

Offline Ann

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Re: frottage/penetration
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2013, 04:52:46 PM »
Enka,

If you think you've been at risk, then you'll have to test at the appropriate time. You were there, I wasn't; you know your own anus, I don't.

Neither symptoms nor even the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about you hiv status. ONLY testing at the appropriate time will.

For that reason, we do not discuss symptoms here. Hiv symptoms are just too similar to the symptoms of many other illnesses, and we don't want people to think that just because they feel fine, that they haven't had a risk when they have.

The earliest you should test is at six weeks. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days.

A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline enka

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Re: frottage/penetration
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2013, 07:38:25 PM »
Just another question:  due to my anxiety, I've had three tests in the last few weeks (antigen/antibody at 19 days, ICMA from LabCorp at 32 days, and Clearview rapid at 42 days)--all were negative.  I just wanted to ask if you considered a rapid test as accurate as a standard ELISA at 6 weeks?

I'm feeling less anxious with all the negative tests, but I've had a ton of symptoms--joint pain for 5-6 days, lesion/ulcer on penis that healed in 4 days, headaches, mucous in the back of my throat, pain in upper-left abdomen...more but I won't bore you with the list.

btw, thanks for the responses--this site is an awesome resource!

Offline Jeff G

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Re: frottage/penetration
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2013, 08:56:44 PM »
Enka , there is not much we can do for you other than advise you to test at the appropriate time if you think you had a risk . The rapid test is accurate but you are only adding to your anxiety by constantly testing . It doesn't sound like you had a risk to begin with so do yourself a favor and test at 3 months past the incident you are concerned with and then get on with your life . 

 


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