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Author Topic: Disclosure to person im dating.. now I dont know as he doesnt know  (Read 1227 times)

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Offline SafeHaven

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
So I told the first person ive been hanging out with since my break up  that I was + tonight. I was able to assure of my health and it turned into an education session about numbers terminologies and the future.

I cant gauge his response.. he just said he didnt know and that I cant blame him for not knowing. I dont. But that uncertainty is what makes me feel so much worse off. First I was okay and now im not okay as I have a condition.
Anyhow.. kept saying it.. saying it was new to him
And then just saying he just didnt know but kept going on about how much of an amazing person with a good heart I am and how his mind hasnt changed about anything hes just sad about the situation and he still wants to hang out but he just "doesn't know" and its scary.. I feel a bit rejected actually..
He did his best to remain calm and neutral but the moment I told him all color dropped from his face as did his smile and any contact we were making. It was like I had leprosy, oh im about to live and amazing life...

So he didnt just get up and leave or make a decision on the spot. But im not sure if I would have just preferred that rather than someone who needed the time to think about it. Because thinking about it n being undecided could one day go either way. .
In my mind I feel like hes taking the time to think about how much of a bad person I must be and the fact of how I must have got it.. up until then I was awesome in his mind.  Not so much now I dont think. He was probably just being polite trying to continue the date and get to grips with it. Just end it already!?

With his reaction in mind and with how strong I had to be in telling him so early on a part of me wishes that I didnt bother meeting him in the first place.. I didnt know that finding out a piece of information (that I until this moment have had to learn to minimise the effect on me of )can cause people to look at you totally differently in terms of where they see themselves going with you.

But if everyone I go on dates with is going to come across this way then I cant handle it. To be rejected countlessly is a spirit killer

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,723
Re: Disclosure to person im dating.. now I dont know as he doesnt know
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2013, 01:09:32 PM »
 

  Hi SafeHaven ,
                           Nice to meet you  :)

    I feel sorry for mood at this time , you did the right thing !

     If he really does care , and it sounds like he does , then give him time to except the facts .  I can't imagine a  man just letting the fact you told them you were HIV - POZ   go lightly by in small talk .

   I hope your relationship flourishes  .  Most of us old timers know many many
guys out there that are not as honest as you .  I glad you had the courage to disclose quickly .

                                          Be well ,
                                                            Weasel

   P.s. : To those that will say that I am married , I do disclose  :-X
                                                                 
" Live and let Live "

Offline SafeHaven

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Re: Disclosure to person im dating.. now I dont know as he doesnt know
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2013, 02:40:49 AM »
Thankyou for this Weasel, its a pleasure to meet you and thankyou for your reply. Unfortunately he didnt care enough as I just got the friendzone treatment. I evidently dont meet his standards.

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,042
Re: Disclosure to person im dating.. now I dont know as he doesnt know
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2013, 05:58:48 AM »
maybe give it some time.

 


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