Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr Instagram
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
February 07, 2016, 11:06:34 PM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Posts: 684873
  • Total Topics: 53588
  • Online Today: 237
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all.

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: I screwed up big time. Condom broke.  (Read 2777 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline StupidMale

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
I screwed up big time. Condom broke.
« on: August 22, 2013, 11:09:26 AM »
So I've done something really stupid that I'm a giant mess about, but I'm trying now to take accountability and clean up the mess I've created.

I've been on a trip away from my wife for an extended time, and last night I had too much to drink (stupid decision #1), went home with a woman I'd never met (stupid decision #2) and slept with her (#3!).  We messed around for maybe five minutes, and when done i realized the condom had broke.

Immediately I felt sobered up and started thinking "oh god what have I done" and here I am.

I came clean to my wife this morning and now have to do what I have to do to A) ensure this never happens again (stop drinking and meeting strangers) and do my best to minimize the horrible damage I may have caused here.

So, my concern at this hour is HIV.  Naturally, I don't know much about this woman. She insisted she "didn't have anything" but I know that means squat. I have been monogamous up til now so I tried assure her she's at no risk... But now I'm reading and wondering about PEP.

I understand my risk wasn't the highest - but I'm strongly considering asking for PEP.  I don't really care about the cost or side effects - I want to do all I can to minimize the impact of my really dumb decision.

So, I guess what I'm asking is - am I making another dumb decision by pursuing PEP? The time to be safer than sorry was obviously last night when I should have gone home alone - but I can't help repeating that adage this morning when thinking about next steps.

I'm sorry if this is something you guys have heard a thousand times. I just want to do all I can to come to terms with this dumb move.

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 16,818
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: I screwed up big time. Condom broke.
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2013, 11:23:39 AM »
Hi Male . As you already know you did have a risk and you will need to test , you can test 6 weeks past the incident and again at 3 months to confirm the results .

Its a lower risk for the insertive partner to go on and test positive after a condom break and especially if it was for a short duration . Although it could be considered low risk it doesn't mean no risk , so you must test at the appropriate time .

Be sure and have a full std panel done because some stds can be present without symptoms and are easier to catch than HIV .

If you choose to take pep you need to do so within 72 hours in order for it to be effective . Make sure your doctor test you for HIV before initiating pep . You need to be aware that taking pep extends the testing window to 6 weeks post pep and again at 3 months to confirm the results .

Its you and your doctors decision about whether to peruse pep or not after you consider your risk . Best of luck and props to you for telling your wife , its not common to see many men take responsibility like you are doing , very refreshing .

Offline StupidMale

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: I screwed up big time. Condom broke.
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2013, 04:11:04 PM »
So first off, thank you for your response.

I have one last decision to make today.

My doctor humored me and gave me a PEP prescription for Combivir.

So now I'm sitting in the drug store parking lot trying to decide whether to drop the $700 and do this.

Part of my brain tells me my risk was slow; save the 700 bucks and just test at 6 and 13 weeks.

But then the other part is saying what if the odds come up wrong for me, and I have to live with the fact that I could have possibly prevented something with a "second chance" (PEP).

Am I being irrational? Should I just move on, or should I go ahead and do this PEP thing to cover any bases I can?

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 16,818
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: I screwed up big time. Condom broke.
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2013, 04:20:10 PM »
You are not being irrational at all . Its the general rule that PEP isn't warranted over a broken condom incident . I personally would not choose pep unless there were other risk factors that do not seem to apply to your case .

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: I screwed up big time. Condom broke.
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2013, 04:23:02 PM »
In the ten plus years I have been doing risk assessment on this forum, I have never, EVER seen an insertive partner test positive after a condom break - with or (mostly) without PEP.

I personally think it's seven hundred dollar overkill. And on top of that you STILL need to get tested six week after your last dose of PEP and then three months after your last dose of PEP. PEP extends the testing period by a month, but it certainly doesn't replace it.

And of course you will need to use condoms when being physically intimate with your wife for th enext three months, until you can get a full STD panel done. Remember, syphilis shares the three month window period with HIV, but is insanely easy to catch through just skin contact.

It is absolutely your call.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline StupidMale

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: I screwed up big time. Condom broke.
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2013, 04:35:02 PM »
Thanks again. I think I am going to forgo the PEP. I just hope it's not something I regret in a few weeks. Sigh.

I'm just a big worrier and like to do anything I can to say in control of my life and that's why I'm so on the fence about PEP, and why this whole dumb incident is against the grain for me.  It really is driving me mad.

But again, thanks for the advice. Still wringing my hands here.. Man, I hope I remember all this garbage the next time I get close to doing something dumb.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,284
Re: I screwed up big time. Condom broke.
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2013, 05:07:17 PM »
Like JK, I have never known a broken condom incident to result in HIV transmission.  Risk is lower for the receptive partner and we're talking a single incident, all of which make the likelihood transmission less likely. So the odds overall are in your favor again transmission.

But of course it's up to you make the decision. When considering PEP, the sooner the better in terms of effectiveness.

Your move...
Andy Velez


Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2016 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.