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em:
what do we tell others and people yet to be born about our lives and HIV

do we let stand the movies and stories that are out now or do we tell our own story?

let me tell what I would like to see . survival. making peace and moving on ?

a story to inspire wether one has HIV or not.

short entry of my own experience. nineties T-Cell count of 7 just after a blood transfusion. the T-cells were from the donated blood. Thrush shingles legions temperature and diarrhea. Then I got on a drug trial for some experimental drug called NORVIR ?

drove myself to doctors appointments and thought for sure was goin to die in traffic

just a thought please excuse the presumption of maybe this story might be worth telling


add and take away whatever you like lets build something other people would be inspired by and wish if something bad were to happen to them they would do the same overcome like we have .

thank you

EM

em:
I am sure other people here have had it worse, done more, and  helped others. they have achieved great things despite being and or having  HIV .

I had told this friend of mine some years ago. He had asked me what I was up to ?
I without missing a beat said as little as possible. He  sold his business and moved away ? I have no idea were he went he worked very hard and had the best garage workshop I have ever dealt with. I miss him and his work. He needed a brake from working so hard I guess and if I had not been HIV+ at that time I would have liked to work for him fixing cars. I have been there and done that >

Nothing spectacular to report, no world changing social altering exploits. Just watched time slip by uneventfully. NO rush just movin on .

What and how HIV should be told how about the kid that used to get beaten up in school because he was small and did not defend himself ? I am sure there is something most of the guys here can relate too. Including myself . Life moves on and HIV diagnoses that feels like a ton of bricks was just placed on your body that everything you have known was just crushed ? Does that sound familiar I am sure that moment someone said HIV that room stood still . Something like that is never forgotten no matter how much you try and how many other things you try to do >

TO work writting a movie story ( even if it is about something as horrible as HIV )

writting a movie has always been a dream of mine HIV has been my nightmare

maybe turning lemon into lemonaide making a movie about HIV and survival.

a beautiful mind that guy it was based on he was on set met Russell Crowe and well he was a math teacher and had a great long life even though he had mental illness

maybe a movie about HIV and overcoming ? please pardon me while I day dream and fantasies about doing something major in my life besides waiting in a doctors office for blood work ? Like buying a lottery ticket everyone dreams of wining but few do. I heard it said making it in the movies is less likely then hitting the lottery?

so for the time I write this I part of a movie in the works about HIV and about being a survivor that still has a chance to have a life > even if it is not the life he dreamt of as a child like so many other people who's dreams did not come true HIV positive or not . They kept on and so shall I >

Thank you for allowing me to write here

EM





em:
would I want to be the face of HIV ?

would I want to be in the grocery store and have someone point and say that guy has AIDS ?

It was a dump idea anyway a nice day dream only ?

My life is not defined bu HIV, HIV is only a small part of my life, a part that won't stop reminding me of its presents ?

just more questions and fewer answers. I hope some how to make HIV a minor precents rather then a defining element.

again thank you for letting me vent

EM

moxieinme:
Boy EM, you really touch on many things I've been thinking about lately. Related to my recent other thread which I saw you read and kindly responded to. But this last post really hit home for me, esp.:

"would I want to be in the grocery store and have someone point and say that guy has AIDS ?
...
My life is not defined bu HIV, HIV is only a small part of my life, a part that won't stop reminding me of its presents ?"

For me, I made a New Years resolution that I'm doing pretty well keeping on living more honestly for myself and others. Part of that is the issue of disclosure. While not ashamed of being poz I'm still guarded. But I feel more and more it's important to be out about it. So in addition to telling a few more people in my life, I'm considering making a more public announcement around World AIDS Day this year. A big step living in a small, but very supportive community.

After 25 years it's time to let people know that HIV is with them and around them. I wanted to establish myself without the label of HIV, and now that people know my, I might be ready to carry that banner. So I may very well turn out to be the guy in the grocery store who is the face of HIV/AIDS. But how else are people going to come to terms with it? Not my hiding away.

So I'll keep you all posted how it goes.

Who knows, maybe I'll get a cameo in your movie? ;-)

aztecan:
Hey EM!

Wow, it is good to see you here again.

I like what you have written and have empathy, in part because I was more or less right there with you.

Glad to see you again.

HUGS,

Mark

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