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Just checking in

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wolfter:
Unfortunately, many of us understand completely.  Our generation will always be the guinea pigs for the progression of this virus. 

hugs
Wolfie

aztecan:
Alan, my dear friend, I understand how you feel. I think we LTSers have all felt that way at one time or another.

You were much in my thoughts this past week, as we at AMG in Chicago reminisced about the earlier ones. Your presence in San Francisco was well remembered and spoken of fondly.

I am so sorry you are having so many difficulties. I agree, we, the guinea pigs of HIV, seem to be overlooked a lot.

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I also will send positive energy to you as I can.

HUGS,

Mark

AlanBama:
Hi guys, I can feel the love in all your replies.  Thank you so much!  Mark, I miss seeing you buddy....and Betty, you are an angel, and have always been so sweet to me...I appreciate you more than you know.

My Jeff -- you know we love you buddy.  You are a great friend, and we both appreciate you so much. 

The latest issue of POZ has stirred up so many feelings and emotions in me....I have felt, for years, that I am "getting by", but not "THRIVING".  I'm sure you know what I mean.  It is more and more of a struggle to get through the weeks.  I also have a friend who has been EXTREMELY ill and in the hospital; he is my best friend of 35+ years, and hiv negative.  He has colo-rectal cancer, has had a colostomy, and is on a feeding tube...one problem after another.  Seeing him in such a state has stirred up my bad memories of being in the hospital so much in the 90's, feelings I have repressed for a long time.  Health care now is all done on the computer; not much verbal contact between care providers; if it isn't on the computer screen, it isn't going to happen.  He was getting WAY too much TPN (or whatever you get from a feeding tube), at too high a rate, and not diluted enough; it has caused a major impaction, which he is not over yet....the nurses had no communication (or so it seems) with the doctor who kept ordering it to be run through at full force, full strength.  This crazy merry-go-round I have been on for the last 25+ years is just about to sling me off.....but I'm trying to keep on hangin' on!   Love to all of you,

Alan

harleymc:
Dear Alan,
 sorry to hear about your health woes, I've a very dear LTS friend here in oz that is also going though the Neurological issues, memory issues, headaches, nightmares, lack of sleep etc etc etc. The docs are trying hard to get drugs that'll cross the brain blood barrier, without viral resistance and hopefully minimal side effects in the brain.

Paul's a take charge kind of gentleman but this is a tough one even for him. So I totally feel for you, wish I was there to do all those silly friend things for you like cook a meal, take a walk together, & mostly to give you a big hug.

Big virtual hugs to you.

bear60:
Hi Alan
Good to hear from you.
Its too bad your pain is so elusive.  My partner Kurt is going thru something similar.....every test in the book shows ....nothing.
But you had me at climbing stairs and out of breath thinking.....oh ok he needs bypass surgery..   a stent or some such. Kurt had that done a few years ago.
Nothing is ever simple is it.
Joel

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