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Serodiscordant Couples?

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ligoilk:
This thread gives me a lo tof different insights. It is quite related to my own questions that I put down in a post. Therefore I would like to know : what about unprotected anal sex in a serodiscordant couple? We talk a lot about oral, but if your HIV partrner is UD, do you still play safe? Would really like to have some testimonies about this issue.

oksikoko:
I think I mentioned it, but when I was negative, I had two longish term relationships with positive guys. We never used protection, and I came out no worse for wear. I tested positive much later, so it was definitely not via either of them. They were both healthy, undetectable, so I assume that's how I got away with it.

jkinatl2:

--- Quote from: ligoilk on September 19, 2013, 12:53:15 PM ---This thread gives me a lo tof different insights. It is quite related to my own questions that I put down in a post. Therefore I would like to know : what about unprotected anal sex in a serodiscordant couple? We talk a lot about oral, but if your HIV partrner is UD, do you still play safe? Would really like to have some testimonies about this issue.

--- End quote ---

A lot of heterosexual magnetic couples conceive the "old fashioned" way.

Insofar as penetrative sex is concerned, let me tryto word a gender neutral observation based on thr available scientific studies:

If the positive person in the relationship is the receptive partner (bottom, female) then the risk is essentially the same as that when using condoms.

If the positive partner is the insertive partner (top, male) then the risk varies only slightly upward, and even then it appears that seminal viral load spikes are usually associated with another inflammatory situation (notable the presence of another STD in the genital tract).  And even then, the amount of viral spike and the viability of those viral particles has yet to be determined.

So in a mutualy monogamous relationship with no extenuating factors, if the pos person maintains an undetectable viral load then it's entirely feasible. It's a matter of the level of risk the individual AND the couple deem reasonable. We make decisions like that a hundred times a day, really.

Obviously if one or both couples is going to freak out about it, then further discussion is warranted, including putting thenegative partner on PrEP.

We regularly see magnetic couples come here, without knowing any of this, who freak out when a condom breaks and go on PEP - which, unlike PrEP, is usually not covered by insurance (USA) and is quite intense and expensive.

Personally, I think it's a better idea to do the research and make an informed choice based on the facts at hand.

jpiper:
hi everyone! i'm new and know this is an older thread but i'd like to get involved with the community so here i am=) my name's jessica. i'm married to a delightful royal pain in the ass whom i utterly adore. he's + and i'm -.... i read that you and your partner would rather have this conversation with a gay couple and i am absolutely not trying to butt in and be an inappropriate part of the conversation.
we are trying to conceive the fun way and fortunately have excellent health insurance, so i thought i could pass on what i have learned, experienced and offer insight, if it's welcome=)

lurker69:
Sorry to bump and old thread, but I wanted to shared my experiences as a negative partner in a +/- relationship for anyone else in the same boat.

I'm going on almost 6 months of my first relationship with a HIV+ partner. Prior to him, I had never known anyone who was positive and probably wouldn't have even considered such a relationship. At the time, I knew the basics such as transmission not being possible via kissing and whatnot, but I didn't know about viral loads or the varying degrees of risk for the different kinds of sex.

I grew attached to my bf prior to knowing he was positive (he didn't know himself) and was in too deep with my feelings to pass him up after finding out. So I found this site, read up on other internet resources regarding serodiscordant couples, and stuck on him like white on rice.

I have to admit, the first few times he gave me a BJ, I was slightly anxious. But as I read these forums and various other articles, the anxiety went away completely (and rather quickly). Now we have uninhibited, awesome sex. And I must say, he's the hottest guy west of the Mississippi with a personality that will melt your heart.

Have to say, I'm a little bit bummed to hear from other positive ppl on here about not being interested in dating someone who's negative. Granted I'm not in their shoes, but there's so many awesome relationships that could happen without it really affecting the sex.

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