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My boyfriend is hospitalized with severe symptoms related to HIV.

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anniebc:
Hi Cnd

I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend, it's hard not knowing what is going on, and I think it's unfair his parents are not keeping you informed as much as they should be.

Do you know if he has had any other tests done apart from HIV?...just curious about his symptoms.

Thinking about you, please keep us informed.

Jan

cnd2013:
Hi All,
It's been about three weeks since this all began. In that time my boyfriend is now at home and is recovering. His viral load went from 200 to 390 (he is on Atripla). He is still unable to walk or eat on his own, as you can imagine if he's not walking or eating on his own there is a lot more he cant do that just simply doesn't need mentioning. Doctors will attack the brain swelling once his viral load passes the 500 mark. Im hopeful he will make it there soon. My boyfriend has become more and more negative, what little he can say is rarely positive. Lots of "I'm sorrys." Doctors suggested getting mental help but I dont understand how this would be helpful if he can barely communicate.

At this point his family and I have become more comfortable with everything but are still very much heavily weighted by the situation. Were having uncomfortable moments and learning to ignore them, like yesterday Chelsea Handler was making some pretty harsh HIV jokes and we were all staring wanting to change the channel but not wanting to make the situation more uncomfortable. I guess in time we will surpass that.

My boyfriend and I are still together and I have made the decision to stay by his side until he is capable of answering a few questions I have. I feel it is right to help him through his recovery as I would hope he would do the same for me.

Lately I've been wanting to get a better handle on what it will mean for us to have a healthy relationship, I think its called a "magnet" relationship (not sure). I wanted to ask for any recommendations on possible reading material.

This has been difficult, most difficult for him, my heart breaks every time I visit. I stay strong but have my breakdowns when I'm alone, or sometimes unexpectedly in my car when its just me and my thoughts.

Thank you all for your responses. It really helps.

newt:
Ok, the hard bit first, at some point he has fucked up, for all his tests if regular cannot have been negative, and if irregular then something else...you will have to decide on this in due course.

Now the not hard part, everyone, you included, deserves a break, so give him and yourself one. The road ahead is slow but optimistic. Time is a great healer, the HIV treatment is very good. Neurological damage can be recovered from, if not completely, to a degree. Give it time.

Having been in a similar experience, I have one word of advice, if you choose to take it, bear as much as you can bear and no more, look after yourself, there are two people here, at least, and both deserve care.

Good luck

- matt

cnd2013:
Newt/Matt, thanks for your response. At this point I have come to the conclusion that he knew and was afraid to tell me, or he didn't know but sensed that something wasn't right (hence him telling me his results came back negative). However, my reality is I am still very much in love with him and need and want to be there for him as long as he needs me.

Thank you for your advice. I am learning to cope with the situation as best I can. His family and I have decided that I will only visit on weekends and they will call me with good or bad news during the week when necessary. That way I can focus on my life and work as well.

I agree that time is a great healer, my hope is that he heal as quickly as possible.

This is not easy and wont be easier any time soon.

cnd2013:
Correction
I mentioned:
"His viral load went from 200 to 390 (he is on Atripla). He is still unable to walk or eat on his own, as you can imagine if he's not walking or eating on his own there is a lot more he cant do that just simply doesn't need mentioning. Doctors will attack the brain swelling once his viral load passes the 500 mark."

I meant his CD4 count went from 200-390 and needs to pass the 500 mark before he can take medication for his brain swelling.

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