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Author Topic: In need of some advice  (Read 1345 times)

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Offline gloworm

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
In need of some advice
« on: July 24, 2013, 11:47:26 PM »
Hello,

I was diagnosed with HIV about 3 three weeks ago.  When I found out my status, I told my boyfriend (he isn't the one that infected me).  It has been 3 weeks and he hasn't went to get tested yet.  I really need for him to be tested so I will know if he is okay.  He says that he loves me and we are going to be together but our relationship has changed in these 3 weeks. I really love him and I just feel so guilty about all of this.  Even though I didn't know that I am infected, I could have possibly passed it to him and that hurts me and keeps me up at night a lot.

My question and where I need advice is, how do I convince him to go and get tested?  He told me at one point that he doesn't want to know if he does or doesn't but he needs to know, I need to know.  Would I be wrong to keep pushing him to get tested, or do I just want for him to be ready to get tested?
Diagnosed: 3 July 2013
CD4: 448
VL: 4,948
Med: Complera
As of 9 Sept 2013
CD4: 586
VL: Undetectable
Med: Complera

Offline Jessy

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: In need of some advice
« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2013, 09:17:02 AM »
Hi
Wait till he's ready thats if he will "ever"be ready....you see maybe he is scared of his actions once he realises that he's not positive?! How sure are you that he's not the one who infected you? Did you get checked beforehand? Or he could already know that he is infected or may be just scared!!

Talk to him explaining that you are worried about him and terminate any sexual(penetrative) contact without a condom for now as its gets messy if one plays the blame game.

Pls let us know how you get on.

Offline klassykitty

  • Member
  • Posts: 381
Re: In need of some advice
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2013, 11:21:13 PM »
Gloworm,

How long have you been with your boyfriend?

Has he been to your doctors with you?  If not maybe you can suggest to him that he goes to an appt. with you and then your dr. can talk to him about it.  You can also try talking to someone at an Aids Service Orginization, they may talk to him.

When my ex-husband was diagnosed I went to his first couple dr. visits and went to the ASO with him. They had counseling for the negative person of a pos. & neg. relationship (can't think of the long word.).  His doctor also talked to me by myself.

Good luck and keep us updated.

Michelle 8)

I found it easier to talk to his doctor and the guy at the ASO then to him.

I would also have him get a complete STI test where they test for everything.

How to handle stress like a dog:
If you can't eat it or play with it.....
then pee on it and walk away

Diagnosed 01-20-2011
01-23  CD4 32    VL 125,400
02-18        76     VL 189
03-14  no cd4 test done   VL-52
04-14   69  VL-UNDECTABLE  YEA!!
05-26   50  whoopsy  
06-27   71        %-7
08-15   64 WTF %-9 
10-16  80         %7  
2012  CD4  %Thing   VL-UD
01-18  87    7
04-18  93    8  
07-16  151  8         
10-18  83    9    VL-70
2013   CD4   %thing       VL-UD
01-28  121     9
04-24  148    11   
07-25  157    11   
10-22  185    13
2014   CD-4  %thing   VL-UD
02-07 201 YEA!!!!!!  12
06-03  205      12

Offline gloworm

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Re: In need of some advice
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2013, 09:43:48 PM »
He and I have been together for about 10 months.  We had a talk about everything and he is going to get tested next week. I am praying that his test comes back negative.

Gloworm,

How long have you been with your boyfriend?

Has he been to your doctors with you?  If not maybe you can suggest to him that he goes to an appt. with you and then your dr. can talk to him about it.  You can also try talking to someone at an Aids Service Orginization, they may talk to him.

When my ex-husband was diagnosed I went to his first couple dr. visits and went to the ASO with him. They had counseling for the negative person of a pos. & neg. relationship (can't think of the long word.).  His doctor also talked to me by myself.

Good luck and keep us updated.

Michelle 8)

I found it easier to talk to his doctor and the guy at the ASO then to him.

I would also have him get a complete STI test where they test for everything.
Diagnosed: 3 July 2013
CD4: 448
VL: 4,948
Med: Complera
As of 9 Sept 2013
CD4: 586
VL: Undetectable
Med: Complera

 


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