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Author Topic: Possible HIV Infection: Symptoms, Fears & Trying to Cope  (Read 434 times)

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Offline kent28

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Possible HIV Infection: Symptoms, Fears & Trying to Cope
« on: June 25, 2016, 09:10:02 AM »
Hi Thanks for reading,

On Sunday June 12th I had an extremely risky encounter with a woman on her period. It was mostly oral sex and I had on a condom at one point but I was under the influence of drugs and alcohol and I let my idiot side take the wheel for a brief moment. I remember rubbing my unprotected penis on her vagina at one point although I did not fully insert.

By Wednesday the 15th I started to feel a little bit worrisome and anxious about the whole ordeal. I started to feel a bit off balance/wobbly when walking. Since then my symptoms have been small but I feel noticeably different. Symptoms like night sweats, inability to sleep for long periods, random itching and health anxiety are effecting me the most. I wish I had known about the PreP pills because I definitely would have sought after them but now its too late for that.

I got tested on Monday the 20th and I am awaiting my results. I know that even if this test comes up negative I am still about 3 months away from really knowing. I have probably read every single thing on the internet about this topic at this point and I wish I would have done this research before. I know that I should stay away from google searches but I just can't help it because I think about this almost every hour of the day.

I have come to terms with the fact that I probably acquired HIV due to my own foolishness. I also don't have any major resentment toward anyone because I know that this was my own fault. I joined this forum to try and get this off my chest and hopefully get some words of encouragement as I face the next 3 months of testing and a possible life with HIV. The symptom that is effecting me most is the lack of quality sleep without a sleep aid like Xanax. I hope that this is all in my brain as a result of anxiety and regret but I can feel my body going through changes and I just don't know what to do about it.

Thanks again for reading and if you have any positive words to share please write back.

Offline Wade

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Re: Possible HIV Infection: Symptoms, Fears & Trying to Cope
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2016, 09:25:56 AM »
HI
HIV is sexually transmitted though unprotected anal and vaginal intercourse.
Unless there was penetration there was no risk.
If these were your only concerns you can expect a negative result.
It is safe for you to move on.

Best, Wade

To avoid infection,
You need to be using condoms for all anal and vaginal intercourse until you are in a trusting monogamous relationship and both have been tested for all STIs and HIV.
Everyone who is sexually active should have an annual exam and test for all STIs and HIV ,and always after unprotected intercourse. Always using condoms will give you peace of mind your tests will return with a negative result.
HIV 101 - Basics
 HIV 101
 You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
 HIV Transmission and Risks
 You can read more about Testing here:
 HIV Testing
 You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
 HIV TasP
 You can read more about HIV prevention here:
 HIV prevention
 You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
 PEP and PrEP

Offline kent28

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Re: Possible HIV Infection: Symptoms, Fears & Trying to Cope
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2016, 10:09:34 AM »
Hi Wade,

Thanks for your words of encouragement. Although I did not penetrate I came into contact with a lot of blood on my hands and there is a very big chance that I came into contact with blood on the tip of my penis. I am very hopeful that this is a one-off type of thing and I am actively looking forward to my results at the 3 month mark. Whether I am HIV negative or HIV positive I will make sure to practice safe sex habits with whoever I meet no matter what type of relationship it is. I hope that this can be a learning experience for me no matter what the results are.

If anyone has any advice on how to cope with the stress and anxiety of this waiting period please leave a message. My guilt, worry and lack of sleep are not exactly effecting me negatively because I am waking up early now and I have become more health conscious out of fear. On the other hand I do spend a lot of time thinking about this problem and I just don't feel right physically or mentally. If anyone is going through the same thing or has any suggestions on how to cope with this situation your feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Offline Wade

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Re: Possible HIV Infection: Symptoms, Fears & Trying to Cope
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2016, 10:17:31 AM »
Hi Kent
A result past 6 weeks will rarely change and as i have said
if these were your only worries your result will be negative .  Period...
Now relax and move on.

Best, Wade
HIV 101 - Basics
 HIV 101
 You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
 HIV Transmission and Risks
 You can read more about Testing here:
 HIV Testing
 You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
 HIV TasP
 You can read more about HIV prevention here:
 HIV prevention
 You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
 PEP and PrEP

Offline kent28

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Re: Possible HIV Infection: Symptoms, Fears & Trying to Cope
« Reply #4 on: Yesterday at 08:26:40 AM »
It has been about 2 weeks since the last possible exposure. I have been up and down, traveling, continuing to act normal but the stress is still there. I have been listening to a lot of Tedtalks and reading this book called Mind over Medicine by Lissa Rankin which has been helpful for my positivity and my healing process.

I went to the doctor today for a followup but the lab screwed up and forgot to do my HIV screening so I have to wait another week for those results. I had a 15-20 minute conversation with the doctor which helped my optimism. She also told me to stop worrying and that the past is the past and I cant change it. She told me to buy some over the counter melatonin to help my sleep which I did. I left to doctor's office feeling quite better and had a pretty good day. Exercised alittle, then went out and ate multiple meals within a short period of time. The one thing that makes me doubt that I have HIV is that I still have a hefty appetite and I might be eating more than before. By the time it was time for bed I was ready to move on. I had spent most of the day thinking about things other than my HIV fear and I was ready for some healing sleep. I took my melatonin at 10 and fell asleep at 11:30. I had a nice little dream and everything seemed to be going right but then I came out my slumber and back to reality. My heart beating fast and my body tensed up. I was unable to get back into a relaxation until around 5 AM and maybe I woke up at 7:00 AM now. Has anybody else had this problem?

It's as if everything is going right then, bang! I'm back to this fear response. I've never experienced these type of sleeping issues so I don't know how to react. I know that talking about symptoms and continuing to fester while waiting for the test are frowned upon on this forum. Does anyone have any suggestions for active forums where I can discuss these issues? I consider this a part of my healing process and I am trying to get down to the bottom of my stress. I have an appointment with my therapist in a few weeks but my parents are going to be there and I haven't yet gained a comfortable repor with my therapist or my parents on these sexual issues. I can bring it up to my friends but it's also so early in the story for me so I don't want to start any rumors about me having HIV. I also only have a few friends who would understand unconditionally so I'm not ready for that yet. I'll probably buy a couple xanax and get a good 6-7 hours of low quality sleep for the rest of the week. If anyone has any suggestions of active forums where I can socialize and post about my experience that would be greatly appreciated. I've also run out of free posts and questions on this website so I'm looking for somewhere to get this stress off my chest. Are there groups I can possibly search in my area for people going through this type of situation in the window period?

I'll check back to see if anyone replied but thanks for allowing me to use this website and I appreciate the opportunity to vent. I know I might seem like alittle bit OCD but I've really never felt my body react to anything like this. It's such a new, strange response and I hope that I can feel normal again.

Thanks!

Offline Wade

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Re: Possible HIV Infection: Symptoms, Fears & Trying to Cope
« Reply #5 on: Yesterday at 08:53:55 AM »
Hi
I can only repeat what I have already told you no penetration= no risk .
Your doctor apparently agreed .
Continue to work with your therapist and doctor.

Best, Wade
HIV 101 - Basics
 HIV 101
 You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
 HIV Transmission and Risks
 You can read more about Testing here:
 HIV Testing
 You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
 HIV TasP
 You can read more about HIV prevention here:
 HIV prevention
 You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
 PEP and PrEP

 


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