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Hello I am new to this site. It's been 4 years coming.

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Mecch, I cannot express how thankful I am for the time you took to reply to my post.  I need to loosen up a lot about this subject and be more open and accepting of it.  There's still many in my life that don't know about me being POZ and it's so hard sometimes to carry around this dark secret.

The closest people in my life do know about it though, luckily.  Including my current partner of course.  I am finally going back to seeing a therapist starting tomorrow.  I started seeing one when I became POZ but I haven't been able to go since then.  I'm also beginning a Men's Group for depression and anger.  It's not an HIV group unfortunately, but I think it'll help regardless.

That sounds like a great podcast though.  I'm definitely interested in that sort of stuff.  And of course, being in a relationship, that might actually be very helpful if that's a main topic for the podcast.

I fully believe now that no one can heal alone.  I think that's why so many of us carry around so much damage and scars.  I used to think that I could get through anything on my own.  Now I know better. 

I'm actually a very warm, sensitive, affectionate person, so I need human interaction a lot.  Affection from others and giving it.  So I believe fully in everything that you are saying.  I think the world would be a much better place if we all let ourselves connect with each other in those manners. 

Luckily, I've had majorly acceptance and caring from others that I have told about being POZ.  It's still very hard to face it though with them knowing and be able to be open about it.  I feel like I just need to talk about it more.  With everyone.

I hope I get what I need here as well.  So far so good :).

Tednlou2, thank you so much for the warm welcome.  I do feel very alone and I have since becoming POZ. 

I have never had a POZ friend so I have never had anyone, ever, to relate to about living with this disease.  All of my closest friends and my immediate family know about me being POZ.  But I feel the lot of the time like none of them really know what to say.  They have all been helpful in support and love and trying to get me to focus on things that will make me happier, but in the end they don't know what I'm going through.  I'm happy none of them do, but I still need others that I can relate to like this.

The podcast is about everything.  JUst the last two episodes were with the couples therapist.  Have a listen.  It was one of the more helpful episodes.  Some of them are too far out there for me.

As you have explained more, it seems like quite a few people know you are HIV+ so I think you have the circle of support in place, its just massaging it a bit more to get the support you need. 

You seem to want a HIV+ support group but I guess there's not one available to you?  In any case, this forum helped me alot because it's all HIV+ people and it helped me chill out and normalise the new reality....  So use this forum but also Im pretty sure you can get support from the people in real life too.  Troubles are troubles, someone who has a different challenge or something troubling, then your own, might be able to listen and empathise and show support.

You know also its a two sided challenge.  You might find as you get easy with your HIV+ status, you'll see that many HIV NEGATIVE people have their own challenges about HIV, and those are their challenges to meet. 

We wouldn't be subjected to bias, fear, discrimination, moral judgement, if the HIV- people didn't have that.  So its their burden and responsibility, smallness, lack...


Mecch, yeah when I have a free moment, I'm going to check the podcast out.

I do have a good circle of support, I just need to branch out a bit.  In the world and inside of myself.

And yes there aren't any close by where I'm living right now.  So it will be very interesting, not to mention a huge push for me, to open up to a bunch of guys that I don't even know and tell them about what I'm going through.  Probably none of which will have HIV.  But you never know so I guess we'll see.  I am trying to relate to others that have been through traumatic experiences.  People around me.  I didn't start though until now.  It's good though.

And yeah I have a huge problem with how ignorant people are about HIV.  I guess I was before as well though, so I guess I can't blame them.  The only thing I can keep doing is exposing people to it so they learn more about it and the knowledge spreads.  The opening up is a hard thing to do though.  One step at a time I guess.

Hi Newday23- welcome to the forums! I am glad you are here. It may seem that you are alone and have few hiv friends but there are lots of us out there. john


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