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Hello I am new to this site. It's been 4 years coming.

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I am 30 years old and have been HIV+ for almost 5 years now.  It's very hard for me to even say that or to become synonymous with the letters HIV or POZ.  It's taken me this long to realize that I have not used all of the resources available to cope with the pain I have suffered at the hands this disease and the events that happened right before and after getting HIV.

Today, I am in a spot of where I feel like I can't go on any longer without healing more of myself.  I have realized that I have no one to relate to in my life about HIV.  I've never taken the opportunity to talk to others about living with this disease.  And that has done me nothing but harm.  I don't know anyone with HIV and have never sat down and talked to anyone that is in my shoes.

Now I'm trying to reach out to those that have experienced this disease first hand.  Because I need your help and your support.  I just need others to talk to.  I cannot do this alone anymore and I hope that by being on here, I can truly begin a process of healing and help others as well.  Thank you.


Hello and Welcome NewDay23,

I am glad you found this site. 

There are many people here with great wisdom, a whole lot of experience, and a lot of opinions.  And we do have our opinions!  ;D     

I will have say that it is all dressed in the finest of all human wear--caring.

So, feel free to come along on this journey.

Take care.

Welcome here. You can talk all you want and then more here.

Maybe talking here can also help you loosen up to talk to people in your life, too.

Support and understanding doesn't just come from HIV+ people. It can be from a friend, someone in your family, a therapist or social worker or an HIV support group in real life. 

I was listening to a weekly podcast that I've been following for a few years. Its called Sounds True.  Its free on iTunes...

Its a mix of scientists, spiritual types, therapists, esoteric people.  Its kind of hit or miss with me.  But the speakers who are "hits" often say things that are really helpful.

This week theres a therapist Stan Tatkin... who talks about the human nervous system and how it operates in couples - in social contact - you with others....

Anyway he said something that really struck me... He said that humans can't really "heal" alone. Oneself.  Its something that surprised me and maybe would surprise a lot of people. 

The interviewer said what about a therapist, and he said, exactly, thats my point, thats a relationship and the therapies that work, there is mutual trust and the therapist is looking out for you, and you can count on the therapist.

Anyway, it was mostly about couples but the point was, he thinks that its the "transactions" between humans - real transactions - especially being in the same place and observing each other, communicating, dialogue, watching the eyes, maybe a touch here or there.  He claimed that this is mostly the way people can "heal" the hurt they have vis-a-vis other people.  Because we are social beings...  You hear kindness, concern, acceptance, it really does help.

So in a sense, remember HIV maybe left you hurting in your relationship with yourself, but also, theres either a real problem between you and others, if you can't bring yourself to talk about HIV or to just "be" HIV+ with others.  Real, or feared, or imagined.  Doesn't matter. 

And I think you are going to get better through communication and relationships with others.  SOmeone is going to help you reset, by their good reaction to you, their kindness and humanity, and they'll recognise you are still you and just a little bit added (HIV+) another facet.... I think this can be very healing, makes the "new you" already 5 years old at this point, just seem more ordinary and relaxed.  HIVing HIV, it it was it is.... 

I hope you get some of that here, and that you find a way also to let people take ALL of you in, in real life as well.

Welcome to the forums.  I'm sorry things haven't gotten much better for you.  I am glad you came here.  This is a great place to feel you're not alone, especially when that's the case in your personal life. 

I think many members don't have fellow poz friends in their everyday lives.  That's why forums like this are so important to them.  So, please share whatever you feel like sharing, and even the things you don't.  I do feel we all need at least one person in our lives, who know we have this virus.  Hopefully, that would be someone caring and supportive.  If that isn't possible, then forums like this really are a good substitute, until we do find at least one friend or family member to discuss things.

Thank you so much OneTampa.  I'm glad to hear that I'll find a lot of caring on here.  I know that I need a lot of it in order to heal properly.  Your friendship is very much welcome and thank you for the hug  :).


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