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Having issues. Thinking about going into rehab

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bocker3:
Torchwood,

I agree with Skeebo -- you wrote this post for SOME reason....  I understand addiction and it's very cunning nature -- it wants you to second guess, it wants you to continue as you are, it wants you completely.

While a 12-step program got me sober almost 24 years ago, I get that it doesn't work for everyone.  However, my suggestions is to get help somewhere -- personally, I'd give the 12-step another chance, but it is NOT my call.  So many do get turned off on the spiritual side of it -- I tried to not pay much mind to that.  I used the people, I listened to their stories and heard their "feelings" their pain -- not so much the particulars of what they did or did not do.  That is what made me feel that this was someplace that I belonged -- where people would "get me".

When I hear people talk as you have in this thread, my gut (and experience) tells me that something is going on.   You see -- folks without a "problem" rarely rationalize their drinking or drugging.  They rarely say, "I could stop if I wanted to......".  They rarely say how it doesn't effect their children (or spouse, or friends, or work, etc). 

Good luck -- and feel free to reach out via PM if you want to "talk".

Mike

Torchwood:
Getting off the Xanax is easy (that being relative because I am in day two of the current withdrawals from tapering my dosage down. I was 6mg a day 3 years ago and have successfully tapered down as I can). I didn't write this out to argue about 12 step programs, the negativity involved and cult like behavior that goes on within a 12 step program. My IQ has nothing to do with my addiction other than my addiction and dependence has affected my memory and that is what is making me break my addiction. I never said otherwise.

BT65: do not bother responding further. Your insinuations and accusations are misinformed. You jump to conclusions without having even remotely all my information which I leave vague because I do not want anyone to be able piece together who I really am. You also pointedly ignored what I wrote and read only what you wanted to. In short, you have done more harm than good.

My main issue to being off of the Xanax is to build coping mechanisms for being POZ. This is why I am addicted. It was easier to medicate at the time than deal with it (insert more information that I am not putting in here) I started the Xanax full time when I was diagnosed with HIV. Anyone have any constructive suggestions for this? Quite simply, if I do not build any coping mechanisms I will find myself on something else.

mecch:

--- Quote from: Torchwood on July 25, 2013, 03:19:49 AM ---BT65: do not bother responding further. Your insinuations and accusations are misinformed. You jump to conclusions without having even remotely all my information which I leave vague because I do not want anyone to be able piece together who I really am. You also pointedly ignored what I wrote and read only what you wanted to. In short, you have done more harm than good.

--- End quote ---
BT65 doing more harm than good?

Calm, insightful, experienced comments - probably she came closest to pushing the right button because your reaction is odd.  I'd look inside to see why I was throwing up such resistance, keeping a lid over something...  Maybe you feel like you're an exception to rule, and the comment about your IQ might be one of the stories you have told yourself, one of the justifications for being exceptional.  Now, you say your addiction may be eroding the buttress that has allowed it to continue and excused it....  You fear your addiction is cutting your IQ.

Your logic is all confused on these points.  Maybe a group might help you feel come commonality and see things more clearly and simply...

Ann:
Torchwood, have you checked out if your local ASO has any support groups? Or maybe one-on-one counselling?

Sometimes having a hobby that really interests you can help. It can be one that you do alone, or one that involves others. What's important is that it gives you pleasure and takes your mind off your troubles, even if only temporarily.

I've coped by joining this forum (back in 2001) and giving back to others by becoming informed and being supportive to other people. It's one of my hobbies, if you want to look at it that way.

Good luck with the withdrawal, and stay strong.

By the way, I know Betty well enough to be able to say that she certainly didn't intend to do any harm. Far from it.

I'm glad you reached out to us - it's a great first step. We're always here for you, even if you don't agree with everything anyone says.

Theyer:
Hi Torchwood.

I hope you are on the path that suits you and are feeling stronger. From bitter experience I have found that I have often gotten very angry at the advice that proved the most helpfull in the end, and as you said your having issues.

The posts you have receive have been made with care and thought based on years off experience , I hope you stay with us try not to fly off the handle instead work out why what you have read has created the anger.

Forgive me if I missed this point but are you having any checks as to wether your cognative ability is being attack by other causes other than the drugs?

So here's hoping that things getting clearer/calmer for you, best wishes
m

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