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Author Topic: Don't know what to do  (Read 774 times)

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Offline Strong_but_weak

  • Member
  • Posts: 24
Don't know what to do
« on: July 16, 2013, 11:07:34 PM »
So last night I had slightly too much to drink, also involved was a hot tub and an attractive young lady. I don't know her or anything about her but I know that we had sex in a hot tub (being intoxicated I wasn't in the right state of mind) I know that it was less than 10 minutes and that I didn't ejaculate (I haven't been able to without alcohol because of either my anti-depressant or low testosterone levels) so I know that I only stay aroused that long. I'm concerned my highest VL was 2,500 in 2011 since then I've been undetectable. I hate the fact I may have hurt someone but the odds are against that happening. I know for a fact it's the last time I'll mix a SSRI and alcohol.

What should I do?

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Don't know what to do
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2013, 12:12:03 AM »
You have several choices here, of course.

Ignore it/her, and hope you never meet again.

Tell her, and deal with the consequences - which, according to where you live (USA?) could be pretty severe if she chooses to prosecute you for non-disclosure.

The odds ofher getting infected are very, very small. But low risk is not zero risk. If you tell her within 24-36 hours she has the chance to take PEP.

I think you would have wanted the same chance to avoid infection, as your own infection was a unlikely event itself.

Remember this guy?

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46546.msg567887#msg567887

I think you know what to do, and we both know the clock is ticking. First 24 hours are the most important.

She can get to a hospital and get her first dose within hours.

Everyone makes mistakes, and she chose to have unprotected sex with you as well, so this is not all on you. But you have information that, right this very minute, could make a difference.

I am absolutely sure you would have been grateful had you been given the same opportunity to avoid HIV infection.




"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Strong_but_weak

  • Member
  • Posts: 24
Re: Don't know what to do
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2013, 12:33:08 AM »
You have several choices here, of course.

Ignore it/her, and hope you never meet again.

Tell her, and deal with the consequences - which, according to where you live (USA?) could be pretty severe if she chooses to prosecute you for non-disclosure.

The odds ofher getting infected are very, very small. But low risk is not zero risk. If you tell her within 24-36 hours she has the chance to take PEP.

I think you would have wanted the same chance to avoid infection, as your own infection was a unlikely event itself.

Remember this guy?

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46546.msg567887#msg567887

I think you know what to do, and we both know the clock is ticking. First 24 hours are the most important.

She can get to a hospital and get her first dose within hours.

Everyone makes mistakes, and she chose to have unprotected sex with you as well, so this is not all on you. But you have information that, right this very minute, could make a difference.

I am absolutely sure you would have been grateful had you been given the same opportunity to avoid HIV infection.
Where I'm at in the USA if I disclose I could face criminal charges that would have me as a sex offender.

Also I don't know her name or anything, I have no way of finding her, where I'm at very well could be a tourist.

This is absolutely torturing me but I honestly don't know what to do, I can't believe I did what I did.

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,887
Re: Don't know what to do
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2013, 12:42:27 AM »
You'll have to follow your heart on this.  I just saw your reply, as I was writing this.  You have absolutely no way of contacting her?  Well, you have your answer on this one.  There's nothing you can do for her.  But, since this is torturing you, you can handle things differently from here out. 

I am curious about the alcohol.  In your other thread, you said you stayed away from alcohol, due to a family history of addiction.  Have you been drinking, due to depression?  Instead of saying you won't mix alcohol with an SSRI again, perhaps you should have a self-discussion about alcohol in general?  I was also confused by saying you didn't ejaculate, because "I haven't been able to without alcohol because of either my anti-depressant or low testosterone levels...."  Was this just a mistake in writing?  You were drinking, so I didn't understand this part. 

Offline Strong_but_weak

  • Member
  • Posts: 24
Re: Don't know what to do
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2013, 12:55:35 AM »
You'll have to follow your heart on this.  I just saw your reply, as I was writing this.  You have absolutely no way of contacting her?  Well, you have your answer on this one.  There's nothing you can do for her.  But, since this is torturing you, you can handle things differently from here out. 

I am curious about the alcohol.  In your other thread, you said you stayed away from alcohol, due to a family history of addiction.  Have you been drinking, due to depression?  Instead of saying you won't mix alcohol with an SSRI again, perhaps you should have a self-discussion about alcohol in general?  I was also confused by saying you didn't ejaculate, because "I haven't been able to without alcohol because of either my anti-depressant or low testosterone levels...."  Was this just a mistake in writing?  You were drinking, so I didn't understand this part.
I don't know her name and could barely vaguely describe her if I needed to....

Depression + stress of graduate school led me to tempt fate with drinking and while on Wellbutrin at that and this was the culmination of a spiral of downward behavior.

I don't know if it's due to the depression but there has been a decrease in sexual arousal and performance (as in an extreme inability to ejaculate for the last 3 weeks) prior to the drinking I see my provider on August 2nd and hope to figure it out.

Chemically or mentally something is out of balance and these things are highly out of character for me. (I know that I need to find proper mental help and confront my demons rather than hiding behind a medication otherwise things won't get better)

My hope rests on what is stated above about sexual dysfunction basically along with a highly chlorinated hot tub, and this article http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/heterosexual_transmission_1667_23387.shtml


Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Re: Don't know what to do
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2013, 01:27:22 PM »
My hope rests on what is stated above about sexual dysfunction basically along with a highly chlorinated hot tub, and this article http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/heterosexual_transmission_1667_23387.shtml

Man, public hot tubs are nasty, germ filled, love making pits of disaster.   
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

 


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