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Author Topic: Feeling very uneasy and scared  (Read 1541 times)

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Offline uneasy

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Feeling very uneasy and scared
« on: July 15, 2013, 07:26:33 AM »
First off I would like to thank you all for your time and replies. Helps a lot of people out.

Last Friday 7/5/13 I went to a club and found a sex worker (in Europe). Since then I have had a lot of anxiety, stress, and because of this loss of appetite.
We went back to the hotel and I put on a condom (she gave me a condom, this made me worried as I was not sure it was latex). Once I had the condom on (foreskin slightly pulled back all the way) she proceeded to give me a blowjob for about 1 minute. Then I tried to insert her but I was not hard enough (condom still on). She then gave me head ahead to get hard enough (condom still on). I asked if she had any lube she said only lotion. She put some lotion on her vagina and I put some on the condom. After this I attempted about a minute of sex before it was unsuccessful. I pulled out I saw the condom was still on. I took the condom off with my hands and proceeded to put on my underwear. After that I fingered her and she proceeded to jack me off with bare hand. I was wondering what my risk to HIV is? I am uncircumcised. After she left I put water in the condom to make sure no leaks. There are none. I used one condom throughout the whole process. Does this have any effect? How far is the cervix where most HIV is found? I was only about 4 inches inside of her (4-5 insertions).

Since then on Day 4/5 after exposure I felt a lot of anxiety and fatigue (no fever).
Day 9 and 10 (today) I saw a small oral thrush (red) on my tongue the size of half a penny. I read this is a sign that your immune system is down and/or fungus is able to grow. I have read this can be caused due to suppression of your immune system because of stress. I feel weight loss and muscles loss.

I am very scared, havenít eaten a lot since then, lost appetite and do not want to even do anything. I am scared shitless, I assume worst case.

6 weeks is a long time to wait.

I have read posts and I am scared because I am uncircumcised and the small oral thrush that appeared yesterday. I know it may be too early for symptoms

Thanks for responses.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Feeling very uneasy and scared
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2013, 07:36:03 AM »
You have not had any risk for HIV in the scenario you described.

HIV cannot infect through an intact condom - and yours was intact from your description.

Please understand that the sex worker used a condom primarily to protect HER from YOU, not the other way around. She has a very real vested interest in keeping herself disease free, as it is her profession at stake.

As for symptoms, I can make ony two observations:

Nothing you described sounds remotely like the symptoms that SOMETIMES accompany initial HIV infection. We don't discuss symptoms on this forum to any real degree because they vary so widely - and often are not present at all.

Also, your self-diagnosis of thrush is almost certianly incorrect. Thrush hurts very much. I have no doubt you would not be poking around it - you would be seeking medical help for it.

Pleaase understand that you have had NO risk, and do not need to test over the incident as you describe it. However, every sexually active person who is not in a mutually monogamous relationship owes it to him/herself to get a full STD panel, including an HIV test, at least once (I vote for twice) a year.

Keep wearing a condom for penetrative vaginal an anal sex and you will avoid HIV. It really is that simple!
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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Re: Feeling very uneasy and scared
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2013, 07:38:34 AM »
Uneasy,

You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection.

Stop worrying about the quality of the condom. Sex workers use condoms to protect themselves, not you, so they're not going to use inferior condom or ones that easily break. Yours didn't break anyway. And there's no such thing as "tiny holes" in condoms. That's an urban myth spread by the Catholic church who don't want people using condoms.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection.  There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER PROTECTED INTERCOURSE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline uneasy

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Re: Feeling very uneasy and scared
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2013, 09:02:29 AM »
Thanks for your responses, but I am still unclear on a few things and have a few more questions...

1) Do lambskin condoms look different or have different texture from latex?

2) Is Oral Thrush a cause or symptom of HIV?

3) Why is lotion not recommended for use on condoms? Does it break down the latex, making it more able to break?

A little bit more information, there was no kissing/lips involved.

What is the soonest one can test? I know 6weeks and 3months is standard. But are there tests that can shorten this window?

Thanks again.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Feeling very uneasy and scared
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2013, 09:27:10 AM »
Fortunately fears and doubts aren't facts. And based on the facts you are reporting and as you have already been told, nothing you did put you at risk.

A sex worker would not have been using lambskin condoms. They are more expensive and she wants to protect her health too. So she would have been using latex. Oral thrush is neither a cause of or a symptom of HIV. Only water-based lube should be used as it does not damage a condom whereas other lotions might cause damage.

You are way overreacting to this experience and there is no need for HIV testing. If you had a real risk, which I repeat you did not, then 6 weeks is the earliest you can test and then repeat it at 3 months for a conclusive negative result.

But that would only be if you had unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse because those are the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV.

Cut out the drama and get on with your life. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Feeling very uneasy and scared
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2013, 09:40:17 AM »
Uneasy,

1) Do lambskin condoms look different or have different texture from latex?

Lambskin condoms look and feel very different. They're also hard to find and expensive, so sex workers do not use them.

2) Is Oral Thrush a cause or symptom of HIV?

No. It is exceedingly rare to get oral thrush in primary hiv infection - hiv related thrush usually only happens when a person has been infected and untreated for a long, long time.

You very likely do not have oral thrush. It's so much more than having a white tongue - it is VERY painful and makes eating difficult. Carbonated beverages (like Coke, for example) make your tongue feel like it's on fire.

3) Why is lotion not recommended for use on condoms? Does it break down the latex, making it more able to break?

Oil breaks latex down. Only water-based lube should be used. Using lotion doesn't automatically make a condom break, it just makes it more likely. YOUR CONDOM DID NOT BREAK.

If you read through the condom and lube links in my signature line like I asked you, you'd already know the answer to this question.

A little bit more information, there was no kissing/lips involved.

It wouldn't matter if you did kiss. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. Kissing is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Neither is getting a blowjob without a condom, for the same reason (saliva not being infectious).

What is the soonest one can test? I know 6weeks and 3months is standard. But are there tests that can shorten this window?

There are no short-cuts to hiv testing.

However, you can test at any time because you did NOT HAVE A RISK FOR HIV INFECTION.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline uneasy

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Re: Feeling very uneasy and scared
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2013, 12:00:42 PM »
2 more questions:

1) Does oral thrush related to HIV hurt?

2) Is getting Oral Thrush unlikely if just infected?

Thanks

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Feeling very uneasy and scared
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2013, 12:04:45 PM »
Did you not bother to read what Ann told you ?

No. It is exceedingly rare to get oral thrush in primary hiv infection - hiv related thrush usually only happens when a person has been infected and untreated for a long, long time.

You very likely do not have oral thrush. It's so much more than having a white tongue - it is VERY painful and makes eating difficult. Carbonated beverages (like Coke, for example) make your tongue feel like it's on fire.

Offline uneasy

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Re: Feeling very uneasy and scared
« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2013, 10:19:59 AM »
Hi again,

So an update on my situation

I got tested 12 days (7/17) post sex with a sex worker. The test was a 4th generation duo test negative for hiv 1 and 2. negative also for syphilis.

My question is as follows:

1) This detects for p24 meaning if I were positive I would have tested positive because this is the time that p24 is highest in the body? Would a false negative be possible for a 4th gen duo test at this time? Have you seen cases where this test can produce a false negative based on your forum experience?

2) My symptoms have gotten a bit more weirder in the past two days (today being day 14 since possible exposure). My neck is stiff, I just recently had one symptom of blood on anus from an anal fissure (could be from a lot of things I know), and the doctor gave me anti fungal for my tongue (first told it was geographic tongue then got anxious cause it was getting larger so doc gave me some antifungals). I have not used them as of yet. If oral thrush were to be in my mouth would it hurt? I can eat anything without any discomfort, but tongue is still white with some patches with no papillae. No temperature. I also have lost quite a lot of weight (8lbs).


I have to admit anxiety does get the best of me and I am debating about going in for another duo test on day 18 post exposure.

Thanks

Offline Ann

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Re: Feeling very uneasy and scared
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2013, 11:13:28 AM »
Uneasy,

What part of "YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK FOR HIV INFECTION" did you not understand?

You do not need further hiv testing at this time. You do NOT have hiv. You are conclusively hiv negative.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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