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Author Topic: Declined Interest  (Read 4097 times)

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Offline MoltenStorm

  • Member
  • Posts: 477
  • Poz & Fabulous
Declined Interest
« on: June 06, 2006, 11:17:03 AM »
Since learning of my status, my desire to be sexual with anyone has diminished to almost non-existant. Is that a normal response in the beginning?

I still get "urges," but I take care of it myself. When I think about adding someone else into the picture, my mental response is "Ugh, No."

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember

CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 7 Nov 2006
CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 5 Feb 2007

Offline Londonguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 104
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2006, 11:23:19 AM »
I experienced a similar thing, but only for a few weeks.  My sex drive totally vanished.  Definetely a psychological thing.

I actually remember the first time I 'took care of things myself' after I learned of my diagnosis and I remember looking at the semen and thinking that it was swarming with the HIV virus.  That really put me off anything sexual for a while.

I'm ok now though, and I'm confident you will be too  :)


Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2006, 11:25:06 AM »
I think you can answer this on your own.  Many of us have 22 to 23 years under our belt with this bug.  Do you think there is any possibility that we have done this celebate????????????????????  I don't think so... ;D

Just give yourself time, and use this time to work out some of the things that you have placed in the back of your mind, to deal with in the future.  Now is the future, and now is the time to get those confusing feelings about "us" placed firmly where they belong.  If I am being too vague. I spent the better part of two years, just trying to figure who Tim was, let alone be comfortable with him and his HIV.  Soon enough, things will come to order, and you will seek out people that will more than likely be of a much higherquality than you went for previously.  There is little to be gained from spending time with anyone that will not accept you, your HIV, or the way you live.  This is one of the reasons that I strongly advocate that people nail the HIV closet closed tight.  There are far too many threads here on a regular basis from people in our family that will not come out, and therefore bring loads of shit on themselves, just because they are living a secret.

Here is to clarity and a full and abundant sex life.

In Love and Support.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline MoltenStorm

  • Member
  • Posts: 477
  • Poz & Fabulous
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2006, 11:25:50 AM »
I remember the first time as well. I looked at the semen and thought, "This could kill someone." A sobering thought, most definitely.

Moffie:

You mean you weren't celebate all these years? *ducks and runs for cover* Hehe
« Last Edit: June 06, 2006, 11:29:46 AM by MoltenStorm »
"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember

CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 7 Nov 2006
CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 5 Feb 2007

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2006, 11:27:25 AM »
I still get "urges," but I take care of it myself. When I think about adding someone else into the picture, my mental response is "Ugh, No."
Give it time, I'm sure your desires will increase (especially as you become more comfortable in being positive).

Offline Sdgirl

  • Member
  • Posts: 247
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2006, 12:05:28 PM »
Ahhhhhhhhh, yeah, no sex drive here either.  I'm thinking the first time I have sex (since my diagnosis, obviously no virgin here..) I am going to need the female equivalent of Viagra.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves.."Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?"

Offline DCGuy511

  • Member
  • Posts: 61
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2006, 12:19:38 PM »
Right after I found out, I had sex more than usual. It was three months of drinking and that lead to sex, very safe and informed sex. Then when the shock wore off, I became depressed. Celibacy accompanied this.  I've now been celibate for 2.5 years. My doc and therapist think I need to get back out there. But, I really have no desire at all. Hopefully that will change.
Steve
Infected/Diagnosed Fall 2003
"No Man Is An Island" - J Donne

Offline sdcabincrew74

  • Member
  • Posts: 540
    • My Manhunt account
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2006, 02:02:03 PM »
I had no sex drive either when I found out but I also had PCP and MAC.  turns out I was low on testostorone.  So I started some gel thing on my shoulder everyday.  Once my meds worked and I got healthy my sex drive came roaring back which made my partner VERY happy.  I no longer use the testium gel and seem to have a normal sex drive for someone that is 31 years old!
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline cubbybear

  • Member
  • Posts: 510
  • Joined August 2005.
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #8 on: June 06, 2006, 06:36:39 PM »
Same here.. when I first found out my sex drive went out the window, but like others I also had PCP and some other things going on.  It took a couple months, but now im a typical Taurus the Horny Bull. ;) GRRR

I was the same as londonguy though, the first time I had a flog after learning my status I looked at the resultant mess and just thought it was awful, and full of virus.  Really put me off of sex.. but.. I got over it.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2006, 06:41:18 PM by cubbybear »
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2006, 06:50:41 PM »
Sex? What's that? j/k...I went through the same thing for sure.You will get over it, but check your testoserone every so often! Like everything with HIV you just have to go at your own pace. Hope that it turns around for you soon!
Positive since 1985

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,180
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #10 on: June 06, 2006, 07:40:00 PM »
Hello,

 There was a time, when I thought that thing between my legs, was only to urinate from !

 Your not alone in this.... Depression, can also play a major factor in this. You should bring this to  your doctors attention also.


Take care of yourself---------Ray

Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline thirtysomething

  • Member
  • Posts: 124
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #11 on: June 06, 2006, 07:43:32 PM »
I haven't had sex with anyone yet after I was diagnosed (3 months now) and I don't feel like having sex with others at all! But one weird thing has happened...I have started jacking off more than usual. sometimes if I'm at home (weekends or working from home), I jack off like 7-8 times a day! And still I dont' feel like having sex!

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,180
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #12 on: June 06, 2006, 07:50:23 PM »
I But one weird thing has happened...I have started jacking off more than usual. sometimes if I'm at home (weekends or working from home), I jack off like 7-8 times a day! And still I dont' feel like having sex!



 :-*   When your arm falls asleep, now that is this height of rejection ! ::)
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline MitchMiller

  • Member
  • Posts: 479
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #13 on: June 06, 2006, 09:11:33 PM »
I believe it's normal... longer for some than others.  It's been nearly four years for me and I've just recently begun to think about trying sex again... HOWEVER... an HIV+ friend of mine just became coinfected with HEP C... so perhaps I should consider that an omen...

Offline otherplaces

  • Member
  • Posts: 398
  • Mutant Super Hero
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #14 on: June 07, 2006, 12:32:21 AM »

I'm glad to know there's a common denominator in looking at our stuff and thinking, 'Jeez, this stuff is dangerous now'. I feel the same way when I cut myself shaving. I think, 'I don't want to see my infected blood!!!' I haven't had sex since that fateful encounter 10 months ago. A friend wanted to sleep with me right after what I knew was a somewhat risky encounter with a stranger (this is actually a much longer story...another time). I turned her down thinking I can't have sex until I get tested. I'm glad I didn't sleep with her. At least I did something right. It's not the first time I've gone this long w/o sex. But I use to have at least one or two romps a year. My sex drive hasn't dropped at all. I sometimes think about some sort of anonymous hook up with another poz person but it just seems stupid. It's time to learn, not pick up another std. I hope someone pops up that I can trust. I'd love to have sex again, but to be honest I'd even more love to not spend another night alone in my bed.

op

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,398
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Declined Interest
« Reply #15 on: June 07, 2006, 12:57:39 AM »
I know just how you feel, Molten.

I went through a period of no sexual interest, then a period of horny as hell but could not complete the act with another person. I would get "excited" then, when things became intimate, my pogo stick lost its spring.

I have gotten over this now. It just took time.

Hang in there.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

 


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