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Author Topic: I feel like devastated  (Read 1088 times)

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Offline concerned.fellow

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I feel like devastated
« on: July 01, 2013, 11:56:25 AM »
Dear mods,
I know this question has been asked thousands of times in this forum.  However my current mental condition forces me to again ask this question.

Let me give you a brief history of what happened with me.

On the night of 25th june,  I was highly intoxicated. In the same state I went to a prostitute,  whose status I dint know ofcourse.

She first gave me blow job for about 30 seconds.  I was not wearing a condom at that point in time. Then I put on a condom and inserted into her.  As I was highly intoxicated,  I was thus not able to continue with the intercourse and took my penis  out after a minute or two. To my knowledge,  I suppose the condom was intact,  however I cannot be sure because of my drunken state. 

Depending on this,  plz let me know what r the chances  of the virus getting transmitted into me,  assuming that the prostitute is infected with hiv?

Also,  is there a possibility that her fluids could have entered the condom and flown  into my urethra  as my penis was not fully straight,  and the condom could be slightly loose. I mean not gripping my penis as it should be.

When I think of all this I get panic attacks and can't concentrate on anything from the last one week.

Please help me. 




Offline Jeff G

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Re: I feel like devastated
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2013, 12:20:55 PM »
If the condom had failed you would know it , they are designed in such a way as to leave no doubt when they break so you didn't have a risk .

Oral sex isn't risk nor are the secretions a woman makes when she is excited so no worries on these concerns , not a risk .

It may be a good idea not to mix alcohol in excess with hookups so you can avoid bad judgement calls .  To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED HIV TESTING AT THIS TIME for this incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Offline concerned.fellow

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Re: I feel like devastated
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2013, 11:16:43 PM »
Thanks for the revert Jeff. I have talked to different counsellors and some say that i still might be at risk due to the oral. In a nutshell, the more i search on these subjects, the more they scare me.

Also, would you recommend to me getting myself tested after a window period of 3 months OR shall i just continue with my life.

FYI, i am in a monogamous relationship with my partner from the last 5 years. this was the first blunder which i committed and i intend not to do it again.

i am more frightened because i want to be sure that i should not pass on this virus to my partner, in case if i have got it.

Thanks.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I feel like devastated
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2013, 11:24:54 PM »
The situation you describe does not carry a scintilla of HIV risk at all. Other STDs, perhaps, but not HIV.

It is a shame that there are people/sites that continue to perpetuiate incorrect information. We stay current, and based our risk assessment on all current available data.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Jeff G

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Re: I feel like devastated
« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2013, 11:35:08 PM »
You can not get HIV from GETTING a blow job . There have been a scant few reports of HIV being transmitted from giving a blow job and its pretty much come out after those reports that there were other risk factors and were discredited  ... so no , you didn't have a risk getting a BJ .

I never discourage a person from testing for HIV but I didn't want to give you the impression you had a risk for anything other than Syphilis , Chlamydia , Gonorrhea , Herpes and possibly Hepatitis . Those things are much easer to get than HIV and you can be infected for a long time without symptoms , so I would get a sexual health check up if I were you .

The good news is you didn't have a risk for HIV . 

Offline concerned.fellow

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Re: I feel like devastated
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2013, 11:15:46 PM »
Hello Jeff,

I have couple of more questions to ask you:

1) does it matter how do you pull off the condom from the penis? i mean do you have to roll it out gently or you can just take it off in any which way? If you don't roll it off properly, then is there a risk of transmission?

2) as you mentioned earlier that i dont need to get tested, so can just go ahead and indulge in sexual activities with my partner? FYI, i havent don so after this incident happened with me.

3) Would you suggest me to wait for some more days and see if i have got any symptoms? So far i dont see any changes in my body.

4) also, is it for sure that one would get the early symptoms if he is infected.

I am sorry, however for some mental reasons i cant take this shit out of my head....the guilt is killing me every day.

Please answer my questions. i look forward for your support. thanks.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: I feel like devastated
« Reply #6 on: July 02, 2013, 11:31:54 PM »
1) does it matter how do you pull off the condom from the penis? i mean do you have to roll it out gently or you can just take it off in any which way? If you don't roll it off properly, then is there a risk of transmission?
 
You can take off slow or rip it off like a band aid , its up to you .

2) as you mentioned earlier that i dont need to get tested, so can just go ahead and indulge in sexual activities with my partner? FYI, i havent don so after this incident happened with me.

You didn't have a risk for HIV so that's not a concern .

3) Would you suggest me to wait for some more days and see if i have got any symptoms? So far i dont see any changes in my body.

No , there are no symptoms when you didn't have a risk .

4) also, is it for sure that one would get the early symptoms if he is infected.

Some people never know they are infected until they test and testing is the only way to know if you have hiv , its foolish to guess what's causing a symptom .

I am sorry, however for some mental reasons i cant take this shit out of my head....the guilt is killing me every day.


You do not have to worry about HIV if you are consistently and correctly using condoms for vaginal or anal sex .

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I feel like devastated
« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2013, 11:33:05 PM »
Hello Jeff,

I have couple of more questions to ask you:

1) does it matter how do you pull off the condom from the penis? i mean do you have to roll it out gently or you can just take it off in any which way? If you don't roll it off properly, then is there a risk of transmission?

2) as you mentioned earlier that i dont need to get tested, so can just go ahead and indulge in sexual activities with my partner? FYI, i havent don so after this incident happened with me.

3) Would you suggest me to wait for some more days and see if i have got any symptoms? So far i dont see any changes in my body.

4) also, is it for sure that one would get the early symptoms if he is infected.

I am sorry, however for some mental reasons i cant take this shit out of my head....the guilt is killing me every day.

Please answer my questions. i look forward for your support. thanks.

1. No, the method of pulling off the condom will have zero impact on HIV infection. HIV is a very fragile virus and cannot stay viable outside the body. A condom provides excellent protection against HIV. Better protection, actually, than against almost all other sexually acquired infections.

Which brings me to your question #2 onward.

Symptoms, or the lack thereof, are absolutely unreliable in diagnosing HIV. And other STDs such as syphilis often do not manifest in symptoms you would notice. If, for example, you are infected with syphilis, the chancre (a painless open wound-like area) might be hidden by pubic hair, or inside of your anus, or at another location where it is not noticed for the few days it manifests.

HIV is absolutely off the menu, but if you are going to have unprotected sex with your partner without protection, you risk exposing that partner to a host of STDs, including gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, HPV, and herpes.

As the window period for syphilis is three months, I highly recommend that you use condoms with your partner until you can get tested at that three month period. Many of these STDs can cause severe damage to females, moreso than males. And of course, untreated syphilis is fatal.

This is not an HIV situation, but it is neither a situation where you should put your partner at risk for the multitude of STDs that CAN circumvent the use of a condom.



"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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