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Close Friends Have HIV-AIDS


Thank you for the forum. I am helping 2 friends that the husband has AIDS Dementia and PML and the wife is HIV positive. The husband was diagnosed in April with AIDS Dementia and PML and shortly after his diagnosis the wife tested positive. They have been our closest friends for almost 10 years. I am 65 and they both are 49. I lost my only child, my son when he was 29 years old from AIDS in 1996 but he never got AIDS Dementia. The husband is in hospice in a nursing home with not long to live. What I need help with is how to deal with his hate that the moment his wife comes to visit starts. I told her with her health declining it is best not to visit him since her health is in decline. I need advice and input on this problem. Thank you for listening. We do not know how he got AIDS either.

Jeff G:
Hi Martha and welcome to the forum ... I'm sorry for your loss .

One question that immediately came to mind when you shared that the wife's health is now in decline is , is she on treatment for HIV ? . I guess the same question applies to him as well , its heartbreaking when these story's unfold because so many could be prevented .   

Hello Jeff, Thank you for your support. He is no longer being treated because he refused the medicine. He has a feeding tube and is in hospice care only. His VL when diagnosed was over 1.02 million and T-Cell count was 165. His T-Cell count is now 102. Her T-Cell count is 480 and VL 104,000. She has been on anti-retroviral medicine for a month. He was working driving a semi up until a few weeks before he was hospitalized. He had been sick for almost 2 years with Thrush but didn't have insurance and wouldn't go to a doctor. I told him Thrush was a symptom of AIDS but he denied doing anything that could have caused AIDS. I thought maybe he had Diabetes and was shocked by the diagnosis.

Jeff G:
Its a sad story Martha and I commend you for sticking with your friends during this time .

Without knowing the details I would say you have every reason to be optimistic that the health of your friend on treatment will continue to get better if she is adherent to treatment .

If your friend wants support we will welcome her here with open arms just as we have you .

Thank you Jeff, She isn't online but I will tell her. I believe in life that if we have lived through something like AIDS we need to support others if the time arises. I never thought I'd be going through this again but God is giving me strength.


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