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hi thx everybody and 1st i wanna start off with the communicate with younger people thing cause my uncle has aids and i talk to him but he 45 and our mindset are on different levels and i don't know any younger person who has HIV rather they embarrassed or private about it even throught i know i'm not the only person were i live with hiv,i would like to commune with someone who mindset is close to mine and the name I'm not worry it's just a name i don't care if people know but thx and i like hearing who been battling it so long and still going strong i hope to get to know tons of ppl on here 

Maybe you could help put together a social group / support group of some kind for young people in your area.  Cause it sounds like there is a need.

i don't know i'm new to this but the more inform myself and get used to it i find the help of older people useful. Maybe because the already went through what you and we are going.
Anyway, I'm 28 and well i'm in similar situation tested poz 3 months ago and started meds 2 months ago CD4 195 vl 142,000.
Your questions about CD4...  how bad it is? i find that tricky CD4 is just a number, the lowest it gets the more at risk you are of getting OI. But the pills will help get your CD$ higher. Meanwhile it doesnt mean you have to get sick, just use what "mama thaught you" and wash your hand, eat food prepared in a hygenic conditions and all that stuff we know how to do to not get sick.
When I got the news and got  CD4 at 195, and the doctor told me that i had been sick for around 5 years one of the things i thought was how weird it was that i never got sick during those years. Even now i'm still healthy.. but i have to take my pills.
About your future... i know now it seems there's nothing to fight for but as you can see here there are LTS with different backgrounds and situation people with a partner married rich, poor, etc. So i guess it is up to you what's in your future and what to look for, ANYTHING STILL COULD HAPPEN and you can become the man you wanted to be before you got infected.
I know it takes time to get that message in your head (i still don't see a clear future) but i know that if i do things right i can become a happy long term survivor and do everything i wanted to do in life, there's plenty of people where who have already done that, so it is possible


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