Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
August 01, 2014, 09:52:03 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 632713
  • Total Topics: 47928
  • Online Today: 288
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Dumb question for the young'uns  (Read 3473 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Dumb question for the young'uns
« on: October 18, 2006, 01:31:26 PM »
In 1998 (I was about 26 yrs old) I had a co-worker (2 yrs younger) who listened to the radio at his desk. After the song "Closing Time" (by Matchbox 20) ended he said "That song is gay" with disgust.... I said "Excuse me, what's wrong with gay? I'm gay." He said "Oh sorry, it just means I think the song sounds terrible."  ... So my question is: How come teens and young people these days use the word "gay" to mean "sucks" or "not cool" ... I don't get it. Can someone comment on this? (Jaser? Anyone?)
« Last Edit: October 18, 2006, 07:02:54 PM by allopathicholistic »

Offline Strayboy74

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2006, 03:28:10 PM »
I complained to Human Resources when my supervisor made that very comment in front of me with regard to something insipid.

He explained to me that it was "just a phrase", to which I replied, "just a phrase that is offensive and considered to be sexual harrassment".  HR agreed.

I don't know why people use this phrase.  Perhaps if we walked around saying, "That is so het", the people using this phrasing may understand how it feels to be discriminated against.

just my $.02

-joseph

Offline jack

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,578
  • fomerly the loser known as Jake
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2006, 03:43:26 PM »
Its the same as when some people say "that's bad" meaning its cool. I don't know how the "gay" thing came into being but from what I have witnessed the kids saying it are not relating it to homosexuality. Or how about "that sucks"? Where did that come from? It is used as negative and sucking in all forms seems a very positive action to me. And for that matter what gives homosexuals the right to claim "gay" as private property?

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,002
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2006, 03:51:12 PM »
"That's gay" meaning "that's awful" goes back a long time, at least 20 years. My younger hetero brother used to use that phrase all the time and it grated my nerves. He wasn't really directly referring to homosexuality unless he said "that is SO gay". Geez I hadn't thought about that in a long time.

Offline ademas

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,151
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2006, 04:01:10 PM »
It doesn't fly with me.
Fortunately, the people I work with are educated and smart, and would never use a term like that anyway.

Offline swede_dish

  • Member
  • Posts: 682
  • I feel like an angel baby wrapped in a candy cloud
    • My blog
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2006, 04:31:49 PM »
it's so rude..there are plenty of adjectives people can use.
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline Strayboy74

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2006, 04:38:36 PM »
It doesn't fly with me.
Fortunately, the people I work with are educated and smart, and would never use a term like that anyway.


Well, aren't you priviledged & lucky?  Bless your heart.

-joseph

Offline ademas

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,151
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2006, 05:28:30 PM »
Well, aren't you priviledged & lucky?  Bless your heart.

-joseph

That did sound stuffy and shit, didn't it?
Sorry 'bout that.
It's not me with the smarts and the education--it truly is the people I'm lucky enough to work for.
xox

Offline MoltenStorm

  • Member
  • Posts: 477
  • Poz & Fabulous
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #8 on: October 18, 2006, 05:41:29 PM »
I always say, "Oh, so it's good because you know gay people always make things look and sound better than straight people. Look at fashion, the theater, and interior design. If you think something sucks, maybe you should say "that's straight." " It usually gets the point across. (no offense to any straights out there)

I have no clue why people say that.
"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember

CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 7 Nov 2006
CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 5 Feb 2007

Offline Strayboy74

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2006, 05:46:55 PM »
That did sound stuffy and shit, didn't it?
Sorry 'bout that.
It's not me with the smarts and the education--it truly is the people I'm lucky enough to work for.
xox

LOL, that's okay, we've already forgiven you. :) LOL

I'm lucky, too. My coworkers (now) are a little more cultured as to not say such a thing.

-joseph

Offline MSPspud

  • Member
  • Posts: 613
  • Joined Mar 2005 - Formerly UofMurbs
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #10 on: October 18, 2006, 06:30:36 PM »
In 1998 (I was about 26 yrs old) I had a co-worker (2 yrs younger) who listened to the radio at his desk. After the song "Closing Time" (by Matchbox 20) ended he said "That song is so gay" with disgust.... I said "Excuse me, what's wrong with gay? I'm gay." He said "Oh sorry, it just means I think the song sounds terrible."  ... So my question is: How come teens and young people these days use the word "gay" to mean "sucks" or "not cool" ... I don't get it. Can someone comment on this? (Jaser? Anyone?)

"Closing Time" was actually by Semisonic. 

Jason (who knows his Minneapolis bands)
« Last Edit: October 18, 2006, 06:32:21 PM by MSPspud »

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #11 on: October 18, 2006, 07:12:08 PM »
Fortunately, the people I work with are educated and smart, and would never use a term like that anyway.

Kid had a degree in business --this was Wall Street. A year later he transferred from being a report inspector (that's what I was too) to a trading floor specialist where I'm sure he blended in perfectly what with all the testosterone, sports wagering, gay jokes and happy hours. The trading floor snatched him up I heard, and I'm guessing partially (primarily?) because he totally "fit the mold" ... He was very into the Dow, Nasdaq, S&P500. I'm not saying he wasn't qualified. In fact I was sad to see him go because he was so competent (At 26, I was the senior inspector in that group and also the oldest)


"That's gay" meaning "that's awful" goes back a long time, at least 20 years. My younger hetero brother used to use that phrase all the time and it grated my nerves. He wasn't really directly referring to homosexuality unless he said "that is SO gay".

Thanks. I wasn't aware the phrase was that old. I was taken aback


Or how about "that sucks"? Where did that come from? It is used as negative and sucking in all forms seems a very positive action to me.

 :o


"Closing Time" was actually by Semisonic. 

Thanks. Bottom line: that kid should watch his mouth especially since at the time he was new to New York (from Cincinnati Ohio)
« Last Edit: October 18, 2006, 07:14:57 PM by allopathicholistic »

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #12 on: October 18, 2006, 07:15:19 PM »
When my daughter was around fourteen (five-six years ago), I noticed she started using gay in this way. I sat her down one night and we had a long discussion on why it wasn't appropriate. She agreed - said she never really thought about it. She had the same talk with her friends and quite soon after, I stopped hearing any of them use the word gay as a substitute for "uncool" or whatever.

Ann
(who fights discrimination one person at a time)
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #13 on: October 18, 2006, 07:22:13 PM »
"Oh Alex, your so "gay". ;D

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #14 on: October 18, 2006, 08:47:02 PM »
I always say, "Oh, so it's good because you know gay people always make things look and sound better than straight people. Look at fashion, the theater, and interior design. If you think something sucks, maybe you should say "that's straight." " It usually gets the point across. (no offense to any straights out there)

I have no clue why people say that.

Actuall in my eck of the woods, we use the tem, that's straight, as in that's ok......so here it wouldn't be known as a negative thing....nic try tho....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Rhino

  • Member
  • Posts: 69
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #15 on: October 18, 2006, 09:41:32 PM »
Me and my clip have actually given up "gay" and "fag" and gone back to the classics "shitty" and "asshole".

Offline ChaplinGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 236
  • Eat my left foot
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #16 on: October 18, 2006, 10:08:49 PM »

1) Good for Jason for pointing out that Matchbox 20 did not, in fact, sing "Closing Time"

2) I have a gay friend who has said, many a time, that something "is gay" - and he's not referring to his buddies

3) As I sit here and read about how Maryland Senate candidate Michael Steel (R) is "offended" that someone said he is "slavishly following George W. Bush" (suggesting that this is racist because he is blacks and blacks were slaves and so on and so on), I am struck by concern that we are becoming way too litigious. (My favorite actually is that a local white councilman used the term "niggardly" in a speech, and black people here said he was a racist. For anyone who does not know what this term means, please look it up.)

4) I personally have said things off hand such as "that is kind of white trash" (and my ancestors are from Oklahoma, people); I'm "off like a prom dress"; I once joked "thanks Rain Man" to a friend who kept repeating himself ... so far, no one has accused me of being classist, a pedophile or insensitive to the mentally challenged. The English language is full of words and sayings, and perhaps more important that MEANING is the person's intentions in what they are communicating. (Don't even get me started on Ebonics.)

Relax, people ... we've got bigger issues facing society today than this.

Offline Strayboy74

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #17 on: October 18, 2006, 10:18:57 PM »
Relax, people ... we've got bigger issues facing society today than this.

Darling,

Then please go and face them for those who don't, I haven't the energy.

-joseph

* Editor's note - Sometimes I look someone directly into the eye, nodding and acknowledging every word.  But what I really hear, after the first 5 seconds is (In that charlie brown's teacher sort of way) "GWA, GWA, GWA, GWA, GWA, GWA GWA GWAA..."

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #18 on: October 19, 2006, 06:01:58 AM »
I always thought they were using gay because to be gay is to be weak, odd or stupid....thus anything that is weak, odd or stupid (as well as feminine) is gay.  It's just another accepted bigoted term.  Most teens probably have no clue how offensive it is, but then again no one has really stated publicly that the use of that word is inappropriate.  I even saw an article about Paris Hilton being a classically trained violinist.  In the article she is asked why she doesn't play the violin anymore and her response was because it was gay.  No remark was made about the statement.  It was passed off as a normal word.

I am struck by concern that we are becoming way too litigious. (My favorite actually is that a local white councilman used the term "niggardly" in a speech, and black people here said he was a racist. For anyone who does not know what this term means, please look it up.)
And I'm struck by concern (whatever that means), that someone who tells other folks to look up a word, also misuses use a word.

You mention nothing about lawsuits.  'Litigious' is about engaging in lawsuits.  Please look it up. 

Cliff

P.S.- You should also consider looking up the word "some," and using it.  Example- Some black people here said he was a racist.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2006, 06:20:30 AM by Cliff »

Offline ChaplinGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 236
  • Eat my left foot
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #19 on: October 19, 2006, 07:04:25 AM »

Thank you to Strayboy and Cliff for effectively proving my point in their responses.

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #20 on: October 19, 2006, 08:19:46 AM »
Chaplinguy: It was also the way the kid said it, with a snarl, as if he had just smelled used gym socks or something. And for me it also had much to do with my own embarrassment, i.e., this kid was only 2 yrs younger, and, I suppose by virtue of him being heterosexual I felt he was more in touch with the mainstream world, well, more so than I was. So I just wanted to hear some comments from the under 25 set (thanks Moltenstorm) or anyone who had anything at all to say, e.g., you. I agree with what you said about other issues needing our focus .....I also agree with Cliff that use of the word 'some' is important. In many cases, it makes a world of difference (I like the words 'many' and 'often' too  ;) )

Offline Strayboy74

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #21 on: October 19, 2006, 11:13:58 AM »
OK.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2006, 03:10:38 PM by Strayboy74 »

Offline Lisa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,240
  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #22 on: October 19, 2006, 11:17:06 AM »
Alrighty then. Step aside kiddies.
I grew up in an era that used the word gay to describe a good, lively, fun time.
To that end, an old song comes to mind......like the Flintstones cartoon intro where the last line of the song says "we'll have a gay old time."
::sigh:: ::)
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #23 on: October 19, 2006, 11:22:04 AM »

LOL... I remember the gay old days too Lisa! :D

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline wellington

  • Member
  • Posts: 508
  • Don't sweat the little things.
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #24 on: October 19, 2006, 01:24:38 PM »
I'm still living the gay ole days.

Personally, I think there's also an argument to be made for using words to devalue them or take the meaning to a new place. However, universalizing that concept would surely leave us with a bland vocabulary. At some future point, we might not be able to say anything at all for fear that someone, somewhere, might take offense.

*smiles* *nods* *moves along*

Which reminds me that once upon a time, while walking with a friend who was telling a joke, that my laughing response drew the ire of a nearby skinhead who thought I was laughing at him. What a whacky world in which we live.

Offline Boo Radley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,252
  • Not a "real man" and damn proud, mithter... FAB
    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #25 on: October 19, 2006, 08:02:30 PM »

You mention nothing about lawsuits.  'Litigious' is about engaging in lawsuits.  Please look it up. 

Cliff

Um...

Litigious
1. of or pertaining to litigation. 
2. excessively or readily inclined to litigate: a litigious person. 
3. inclined to dispute or disagree; argumentative. 

Boo
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline ChaplinGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 236
  • Eat my left foot
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #26 on: October 19, 2006, 10:27:24 PM »

Thanks, Boo. Proved my point.

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #27 on: October 19, 2006, 11:20:16 PM »
I don't understand why people get so worked up about it. I mean, it's not like gay always meant homosexual, we pinched it (or had it imposed on us) in the first place.
My nephews use it all the time and it doesn't bother me one iota. To them it means daggy, or nerdy.

I did see a t-chirt the other day that I thought was quite cute.

HOMOPHOBIA
  IS SO GAY
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline CaptCarl

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,114
  • Located in the Palinsville subdivision, JesusLand
Re: Dumb question for the young'uns
« Reply #28 on: October 20, 2006, 01:33:02 AM »
I'm not too sure I should admit this, but here goes. At 41 I use the phrase, "that's gay" in the derogatory sense. I have for years. Maybe it's because I've always been a blue collar worker. I should add that 99% of the time the phrase doesn't bother me. I was taught at a very early age by my parents that words are only as bad as you allow them to be. Until of course, the first time I said "fuck" in front of my parents. They also did teach that there are some words that are never appropriate in any situation. I'm not in the closet, and if someone makes anti-gay statements, I will stand up for myself. But in this particular situation, it seems clear to me, that this is not Homophobia. Just my two cents worth...
     Capt.Carl. (who is eternally being bitched at for a non-P.C. attitude)
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.