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Author Topic: Anyone Else?  (Read 2341 times)

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Offline jdmalawi

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Anyone Else?
« on: June 09, 2013, 09:14:02 PM »
I am a single professional woman living in Canada.  I work as an elemenary school teacher and have an orphan care centre in malawi.  I tested positive in the fall.  I am angry at myself for being careless.  I feel ashamed because I am an educated, middle-class lady who should know better. 

Are there any other professional women out there with HIV?  I know I'm ignorant but I feel like this is a disease of drug users and Africans. I just feel like no one will believe me if I say I'm HIV+.  I am judging myself, harshly. 



Nov '12:  Tested Positive
Dec '12:  VL 539,
Feb '13:  VL 534, CD4 839
June '13:  VL58, CD4 700
Sept '13:  VL 52, CD4 884

Offline chocaholic

  • Member
  • Posts: 19
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2013, 04:23:43 AM »
for Africans???????? that is so insulting..what planet do u come from.  HIV doesnt discriminate as you know clearly know now

Offline karry

  • Member
  • Posts: 271
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2013, 07:10:05 AM »
I felt so insulted when I read this because I am African. Too bad its misconceptions like these that lead people like the op to this forum. Guess what I am also highly educated and professional and my partner and I are above middle class...but then we are not a good example to the op because we are Africans.
You have an immune system...so be you white, green, blue, rich or poor , gay or straight you are at risk for HIV. Pleade teach this to the children at your school too.
Karry
Take it a day at a time....and be positive about it too!

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,915
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2013, 07:15:38 AM »
I see why the others feel insulted, as do I, since I"m a recovering drug addict.  But I did not get HIV from being a drug addict.  It just doesn't matter who a person is, where they are from, what their habits are etc.   Anyone having unprotected sex is at risk.  As you are experiencing.  I am not above middle class, but am a social worker, working at an ASO.  I see people from all walks of life in our agency, trust me.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline klassykitty

  • Member
  • Posts: 381
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2013, 09:11:43 PM »
Jdmalawi,

I am neither African, or a recovering drug user, well my drug recovery happened 25 years ago.

I got AIDS from my ex-husband.  I am no middle class, my government classifies me  as poor.

Like BT said all people can get it if they are not careful.

People believing you isn't the only thing you should worry about you also have to  worry about how they react. 

Michelle 8)

 
How to handle stress like a dog:
If you can't eat it or play with it.....
then pee on it and walk away

Diagnosed 01-20-2011
01-23  CD4 32    VL 125,400
02-18        76     VL 189
03-14  no cd4 test done   VL-52
04-14   69  VL-UNDECTABLE  YEA!!
05-26   50  whoopsy  
06-27   71        %-7
08-15   64 WTF %-9 
10-16  80         %7  
2012  CD4  %Thing   VL-UD
01-18  87    7
04-18  93    8  
07-16  151  8         
10-18  83    9    VL-70
2013   CD4   %thing       VL-UD
01-28  121     9
04-24  148    11   
07-25  157    11   
10-22  185    13
2014   CD-4  %thing   VL-UD
02-07 201 YEA!!!!!!  12
06-03  205      12

Offline karry

  • Member
  • Posts: 271
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2013, 10:52:07 PM »
I am a single professional woman living in Canada.  I work as an elemenary school teacher and have an orphan care centre in malawi.  I tested positive in the fall.  I am angry at myself for being careless.  I feel ashamed because I am an educated, middle-class lady who should know better. 

Are there any other professional women out there with HIV?  I know I'm ignorant but I feel like this is a disease of drug users and Africans. I just feel like no one will believe me if I say I'm HIV+.  I am judging myself, harshly.

My initial anger after reading this post has ebbed down a little. I reread it and I feel that maybe if you stopped putting people in categories such as African, drug user, middle class, rich or poor ...and just see us all as a set of people who have something in common, i.e HIV, then it will make it easier for you to accept your diagnosis, accept others...and you will probably stop judging yourself and start healing internally. Believe me, in order to cope with this new you i.e HIV positive you, you have to learn to forgive yourself for having made a mistake most of us here made....having unprotected sex.

I sincerely hope you will some day come to a place where you realise that the road to this status doesn't really matter..once you are here, you are here. Its now the question of how you wish to move on that matters in the long run.
Take it a day at a time....and be positive about it too!

Offline jdmalawi

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2013, 07:26:09 AM »
Karry,

Thank you for understanding and for seeing that I am judging myself more harshly than I'm judging anyone else. 

I'm so very sorry to have offended so many strangers.  I truly hoped I could find support here but I've obviously botched it big time.

Best of luck to all of you.
Nov '12:  Tested Positive
Dec '12:  VL 539,
Feb '13:  VL 534, CD4 839
June '13:  VL58, CD4 700
Sept '13:  VL 52, CD4 884

Offline jdmalawi

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2013, 07:30:15 AM »
To All Whom I Have Offended by my Ignorance:

I'm so very sorry.  I didn't mean to imply that ANYONE deserves HIV more than I do.  I know I can be very judgmental.  I judge myself as harshly if not more. 

I had hoped this forum would provide me with stories similar to mine (single lady, smart enough to know better, too trusting) makes a mistake that forever changes her life. 

I didn't mean to offend and I'm sorry for that.

If you knew me at all you'd find that I am not racist in any way.  I can't and won't try to prove that to you all here but I must state it for the record. 

POZ is a great site and I'd really hoped to find a community here.  My apologies for the offense I have caused. 

Best of luck to all of you.
Nov '12:  Tested Positive
Dec '12:  VL 539,
Feb '13:  VL 534, CD4 839
June '13:  VL58, CD4 700
Sept '13:  VL 52, CD4 884

Offline TabooPrincess

  • Member
  • Posts: 279
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2013, 01:07:36 PM »
Don't go!!!! 
09/ 2008 - Seroconversion
11/2008 - Tested pos, cd4 640 vl 25400
12/2008 - cd4 794 vl 27798, 35%
03/2009 - cd4 844 vl 68846, 35%
06/2009 - cd4 476 vl 49151, 33% (pregnancy confirmed)
08/2009 - cd4 464 vl 54662, 32%
Started meds for pregnancy (Kaletra, AZT, Viread)
09/2009 - cd4 841 vl 3213, 42%
10/2009 - cd4 860 vl 1088, 41%
11/2009 - cd4 771 vl 563, 38%
12/2009 - cd4 885 vl 151 42%
Discontinued meds after baby born
02/2010 - cd4 841 vl 63781, 38%
05/2010 - cd4 1080 vl 113000, 39%
08/2010 - cd4 770 vl 109242
12/2010 - cd4 642 vl 111000, 34%
06/2011 - cd4 450 vl 222000, 33%
11/2011 - cd4 419 vl 212000, 24%
03/2012 - cd4 280 vl 118000, 26% (repeated Cd4 at 360)
05/2012 -cd4 360 vl 99,190
10/2012 Atripla, cd4 690, vl 80
12/2012 Darunavir, norvir, truvada, Cd4 680, vl u/d
07/2013 cd4 750,ud

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #9 on: June 12, 2013, 05:16:57 PM »
Hi JD

It's easy to say things we don't mean when we are angry, God knows I've hit that post button myself when I've been angry, and paid the price.

Try and put this behind you, as far as I'm concerned it's done now, you have apologised so let that be an end to it.

Please stay around and continue to post, this really is the best site for help and support.

BTW, I was a nurse for 30 years, I ended my career with a private company as a nursing sister in charge in Pathology, there are quite a few professional ladies here who has been through all the ups and downs and are still with us today and still working.

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Aroha
Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,915
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2013, 05:55:12 PM »
Please don't stop posting.  We've all made mistakes here, as Jan said, so don't worry about it.  This place really is wonderfully supportive and if you stick around you will find that out. :)

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline klassykitty

  • Member
  • Posts: 381
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #11 on: June 14, 2013, 10:08:47 PM »
Hi JD,

As Bt65 has mentioned we all have said something at one time or another to offend someone.  Don't worry people will let you know, usually in a good way.

It really is worth sticking around and getting to know us.

 Some of us on here have made a mistake that has changed our life, don't judge yourself to harshly.  that is something I'm sure most of us have done to ourselves at some point or another.

Michelle 8)
How to handle stress like a dog:
If you can't eat it or play with it.....
then pee on it and walk away

Diagnosed 01-20-2011
01-23  CD4 32    VL 125,400
02-18        76     VL 189
03-14  no cd4 test done   VL-52
04-14   69  VL-UNDECTABLE  YEA!!
05-26   50  whoopsy  
06-27   71        %-7
08-15   64 WTF %-9 
10-16  80         %7  
2012  CD4  %Thing   VL-UD
01-18  87    7
04-18  93    8  
07-16  151  8         
10-18  83    9    VL-70
2013   CD4   %thing       VL-UD
01-28  121     9
04-24  148    11   
07-25  157    11   
10-22  185    13
2014   CD-4  %thing   VL-UD
02-07 201 YEA!!!!!!  12
06-03  205      12

Offline Happy1976

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Anyone Else?
« Reply #12 on: June 18, 2013, 11:16:29 AM »
Hi

I am an African , I am from South Africa, my government classifies me as someone who is living above middle class,  I have (two) 2 masters degrees (explains the intelligence) and I am married to a HIV negative man BUT I am HIV positive.

As all the writers said HIV does not discriminate.

I have been knowingly living with HIV for 6 years and I have been on ART for 4 years.

So to answer your question yes " there is anyone else" except the fact that I am an African and I am not sure if my answer qualifies.

Good luck in your journey of healing and forgiving yourself and the person who infected you.

Do not be too harsh to your self it will make the healing process difficult.

This site is very informative and it will be beneficial to you should you decide to stay.

Good luck and regards

Happy
Nothing happens until I make it happen .contributed by: Scott Wilson

 


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