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Author Topic: Just trying to settle some fears. Oral sex risks.  (Read 1793 times)

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Offline abitnervous

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Just trying to settle some fears. Oral sex risks.
« on: June 14, 2013, 04:12:44 PM »
So, I have never posted on something like this before. I am having some major anxiety and I just need a bit of reassurance.

My facts: I am married and recently (2 weeks ago) had an encounter (affair) with someone that I know well. We haven't been close for a while but I do know this person had a negative HIV test a few years ago. Anyway, risks were unprotected oral (giving and receiving), the sex I received was long (but typical) and the sex I gave was very short, perhaps 30 seconds, no ejaculation. We did not have traditional sex.

The logical part of my brain says my anxiety is stemming from guilt, but somehow I can't seem to shake an HIV fear. It's frustrating, really. I have read a bit of advice but it seems conflicting.

I'm looking for opinions on the following:
Do you think I am at risk for HIV at all?
If so, do you think I need to adjust my sexual behavior with my husband while waiting to test? ie. use condoms, avoid etc.
Do I need to test at all?

Thank you so much.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Just trying to settle some fears. Oral sex risks.
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2013, 04:37:32 PM »
You did not have a risk and you can safely put this behind you now and move on .

There have been no fewer than three separate serodiscordant couples studies (where one person is HIV positive, the other negative.) These couples were tracked for three. five and ten years. The couples used condoms for penetrative vaginal and anal sex, but NO BARRIER at all for oral sex. Any kind of oral sex.

These studies yielded NO infections.

Sexually the risk from HIV comes when you have unprotected vaginal or anal sex  , period . As long as condoms are correctly and consistently used you will avoid exposer to HIV .

Keep in mind that most STD 's are much easer to get than HIV so if you are at risk for those type infections it the responsible thing to do to have yearly or more sexual health checkups that incudes HIV testing as well as a full STD panel .

You don't need to test for this incident , if I were a doctor I would tell you to take 2 aspirin and forgive yourself and you will feel better in the morning .

Offline abitnervous

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Re: Just trying to settle some fears. Oral sex risks.
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2013, 04:41:27 PM »
I just wanted to say thank you. Especially for the forgive yourself part. That made me cry. It's exactly my issue.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Just trying to settle some fears. Oral sex risks.
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2013, 04:55:07 PM »
I just wanted to say thank you. Especially for the forgive yourself part. That made me cry. It's exactly my issue.

I didn't mean to make you cry , smile perhaps .

I know you are under stress over this and I just want you to know that if you had a risk I would not have hesitated to tell you so that you could get tested and be proactive with your health and that of your partner / husband .

You can put your HIV fears to rest and move on now .


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