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Anyone Else?

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karry:

--- Quote from: jdmalawi on June 09, 2013, 09:14:02 PM ---I am a single professional woman living in Canada.  I work as an elemenary school teacher and have an orphan care centre in malawi.  I tested positive in the fall.  I am angry at myself for being careless.  I feel ashamed because I am an educated, middle-class lady who should know better. 

Are there any other professional women out there with HIV?  I know I'm ignorant but I feel like this is a disease of drug users and Africans. I just feel like no one will believe me if I say I'm HIV+.  I am judging myself, harshly.

--- End quote ---

My initial anger after reading this post has ebbed down a little. I reread it and I feel that maybe if you stopped putting people in categories such as African, drug user, middle class, rich or poor ...and just see us all as a set of people who have something in common, i.e HIV, then it will make it easier for you to accept your diagnosis, accept others...and you will probably stop judging yourself and start healing internally. Believe me, in order to cope with this new you i.e HIV positive you, you have to learn to forgive yourself for having made a mistake most of us here made....having unprotected sex.

I sincerely hope you will some day come to a place where you realise that the road to this status doesn't really matter..once you are here, you are here. Its now the question of how you wish to move on that matters in the long run.

jdmalawi:
Karry,

Thank you for understanding and for seeing that I am judging myself more harshly than I'm judging anyone else. 

I'm so very sorry to have offended so many strangers.  I truly hoped I could find support here but I've obviously botched it big time.

Best of luck to all of you.

jdmalawi:
To All Whom I Have Offended by my Ignorance:

I'm so very sorry.  I didn't mean to imply that ANYONE deserves HIV more than I do.  I know I can be very judgmental.  I judge myself as harshly if not more. 

I had hoped this forum would provide me with stories similar to mine (single lady, smart enough to know better, too trusting) makes a mistake that forever changes her life. 

I didn't mean to offend and I'm sorry for that.

If you knew me at all you'd find that I am not racist in any way.  I can't and won't try to prove that to you all here but I must state it for the record. 

POZ is a great site and I'd really hoped to find a community here.  My apologies for the offense I have caused. 

Best of luck to all of you.

TabooPrincess:
Don't go!!!! 

anniebc:
Hi JD

It's easy to say things we don't mean when we are angry, God knows I've hit that post button myself when I've been angry, and paid the price.

Try and put this behind you, as far as I'm concerned it's done now, you have apologised so let that be an end to it.

Please stay around and continue to post, this really is the best site for help and support.

BTW, I was a nurse for 30 years, I ended my career with a private company as a nursing sister in charge in Pathology, there are quite a few professional ladies here who has been through all the ups and downs and are still with us today and still working.

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Aroha
Jan

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