Main Forums > Someone I Care About Has HIV

Is He Okay?

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Ilovehim:
First off no I'm not POZ. My partner, however, is and has been since birth. I've been worried about him. We had a little episode and we took a break in which he became depressed and didn't take his medicine for 2 weeks claiming that he didn't care what would happen. Now that we are back together everything is fine but I've noticed that he has been sleeping a lot. I hope its probably nothing but its everyday even when he gets a full nights rest he will still nap most through the day. I've tried getting him to go to the doctor but he is such a panzy about doctors so is he okay? should I be more forceful with his going tot he doctor.

Andy Velez:
Hi,

Some clarity is needed here. How does he get his meds and is your partner regularly under the care of a doctor? If not, he should be so that his numbers and other health aspects are being monitored regularly.

Do you guys live together? Does he work? Your living circumstances are not clear from what you have written. We need more information in order to make an assessment of your situation.

Miss Philicia:
In my opinion, if an HIV-infected individual allows a relationship break-up to cause him/her to discontinue their daily medication then they may wish to engage in extended discussion with a therapist. This act, combined with the excessive sleeping now going on and avoidance of seeing his/her physician, would seem to indicate ongoing depression issues. While I am obviously not a licensed psychologist, I think most would consider it a worthy consideration at the least.

My larger point is that if one even like a break up can cause such a change in behavior then other things have the possibility to do so as well, nor should the HIV+ person be able to use this as future manipulation if you should decide later to not remain in the relationship. Actually I would ask you (llovehim) if you found his actions intentionally manipulative to force you back into the relationship.

So if I were you, I would have a forced discussion about going to his HIV doctor first, to see if his 2 week vacation from medication has caused resistance issues, then next get him to see a therapist even if that means you going with him for a couple of sessions.

myjade_84:
Aside from the doctor for his infection, you must also convince him to see a shrink. Based on your story, he seems to be depressed. My friend was also like that in the beginning but after few months, she accepted her fate and won over depression. HIV-infected people are more sensitive and easily hurt. When you guys broke up, maybe he was on his edge already. It's great that you came back for him when it's not yet too late. But you still need to persuade him to go to the doctor to find out his latest condition. 

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