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Author Topic: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(  (Read 2349 times)

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Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« on: October 17, 2006, 06:02:47 PM »
Hi all:

Well, I know you all will tell me it's my fault, and I know...But I couldn't help it.   I wrtoe an email to the guy i got involved a few months ago (before poz diagnostic)... I simply told him he was great, and that even when he had a huge impact in my life, i had to be realistic, and know that he was with someone else, and that I had tomove on,because I had taken 4 months, and I felt like I needed to go back in search of love.

His reply? Subject: Fantasic , in the text of the message :"Happy you are not waiting around", "you might have been better off not meeting me", bla, bla, bla....

Well, I hoped he said something..anything...but he didn't...And i cannot help the tears running down my face...

F*ck...in moments like this is when I hate myself...for being such a romantic idiot that still believes in love..Even when this fucking virus is killing me.

Alex
Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2006, 06:37:34 PM »

Alex sweety - when you do find that special someone..... that dude, those tears: they won't be a memory. you'll say "oh, that old story! Hhahah!"  .... Trust me darling. this is making you stronger. it just doesn't seem that way right now  ;)  ;)

Offline Just John

  • Member
  • Posts: 267
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2006, 07:01:27 PM »
He probably doesn't deserve you anyhow.

Let him pass and Mr. Right will come along and mend your broken heart, that's not a promise but I'll take a wager on it anyday.

Anyway honey, did your mother never warn you;  ::)

NEVER EVER EVER EVER, EXPECT A KIND, CONSIDERATE, TENDER LOVING ANSWER FROM A F*@KING MAN!!

the only time that'll happen is when he wants a blow job.

John ;D ;D ;D
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2006, 07:31:22 PM »
Alex,

You are not stupid! He sounds like a jerk! His loss...not yours. You hang in there hon.


Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2006, 08:40:37 PM »
Alex...  Its ok.. 

Love

Offline Val

  • Member
  • Posts: 938
  • Praxitèles -- Satyre au repos
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2006, 05:27:48 AM »
Alex, honey, you need to turn gay!  Like speeding as fast as you can away from the highway --- and in a totally gay abandon ---  that led you to this guy, in the first place! And remember, "you are not alone in the nightshift!"
This is to make your day brighter, baby!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTWIyqdFA6Q

Val
___
___
Arthus Bertrand
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?reference=TVDC%20YABFR084&pais=France
Ali Mahdavi
http://asyoudesireme.online.fr/index.htm
Richard de Chazal
http://www.richarddechazal.com/
Daniel Nassoy
http://www.danielnassoy.com/pages/galeries_portraits_2.html
Photography:
The word comes from the Greek words φως phos ("light"), and γραφίς graphis ("stylus", "paintbrush") or γραφή graphê, together meaning "drawing with light" or "representation by means of lines".

Offline water duck

  • Member
  • Posts: 397
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2006, 05:53:21 AM »
Before reaching the ROSE,

We must suffer the THORNS.

Siang

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2006, 02:39:29 PM »
People, friends, family..

Thank you very much for your words... I cannot explain how important they are for me... I cried a lot last night..And I felt asleep...

I have been somewaht busy today, but his memory keeps coming...Anway

Alex
Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2006, 12:59:40 AM »
Hey Alex,

Don't hate yourself just because of someone's actions. It is his loss, not yours. The Chemistry just wasn't right. Don't be so hard on yourself. You will find the right one. Love takes time.


Make the BEST of each Day!

Offline ruben

  • member
  • Posts: 1
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2006, 12:18:14 PM »
Hi, Alex, Don't kick yourself,don't  be hard on yourself,some guys are not mature enough to understand our lives no matter what age they are. I lived with HIV since 1988, recently dig with HIV/AIDS in 2003 I was very sick (near death) but I have recovered, the only thing that is not recovered is my trust in guys, I want a relationship, but I'm not sure if the guys will trust me any more.

So I have stopped worrying about so much and continued my life in the best mode I can.

Yours
Ruben

Offline wellington

  • Member
  • Posts: 508
  • Don't sweat the little things.
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2006, 12:44:41 PM »
Scrape that nasty old gum off those gorgeous Prada pumps and keep struttin'. There is no shortage of ignorant people in this world, and likely the next.

I think it's great to be romantic - tears and all. You expressed yourself to this guy, and he to you, so that you now have closure and can continue forward. Life is all about discoveries, anyway. It's the chase that's most thrilling ;)

Offline Merlin

  • Member
  • Posts: 642
  • As My WILL, So MOTE It Be !
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2006, 02:11:02 PM »
Hey Alex:

Here's something I believe in and hopes it helps...hugz. Stay well. Heal soon.

"Give the benefit of doubt at least 3 times - then apply the strike 3 and you're OUT approach. Try not to always be the sucker...unless u like what sucks...then you're the one that's OUT!...:P.. but learn also to be forgiving...some do change for the better...just gotta let them do the sucking this time...kapish? ;)

Stay away from abusive/shallow contacts and relationships, they'll sap your energies and drain your vitality cos they have their own baggage/agenda to unload, but DUN let them do it on you.
How can you expect to catch New Goodies if your hands are full of old shit?...so find the courage and DUMP the Trash - period!

Real Love and Compatibility LIFTS you up to do and be more for each other. It flourishes on Respect and Equality and NEVER on power, control nor fear. If u have to bend backwards Most of the time to justify the union, then join the porno circuit, at least get paid for being SCREWED!..:P Remember, some things are just not meant to be, so learn to Accept, Move On and be at Peace...:)

Another simple but Important REALITY: What Goes Around Comes Around Eventually!


Blessed be!.....Peace!

Michael



[attachment deleted by admin]
I'll leave Hatred to those not strong enough to Love.

                            +++

Believe & The Power Of The Mind Transforms.
Make It Happen...

                            +++

I blame them for nothing.
I forgive them for everything.

---->> Mary J. Blige on dysfuctional parents

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2006, 03:57:53 PM »
There are better people in the world ! You just have to hang in there, be good to yourself, and good things will happen. And believe me, when you find that special person, it will all have been worth it.
I know easier said then done, but we all know you are a great person!
Take care
Positive since 1985

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: Yes, I am stupid... back to dating and he didn't care :'(
« Reply #13 on: October 19, 2006, 07:12:04 PM »
Daer people:

Thank you for your words...I guess It allll takes time...I have been feeling somewhat shitty, (other thread is coming) because of meds. But I was traveling to another city IN Europe for business, and when they were playing amovie, I couldn't help it, and had to go to the bathroom to guess what? CRY....

But, I'll do as wellington said...i'll clean My Prada's,  and will go on... I WILL SURVIVE! (Of course, with the make up a shit, because of the tears)

Alex
Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

 


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