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Author Topic: courage  (Read 1029 times)

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Offline Know-better

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courage
« on: June 02, 2013, 04:39:35 PM »
A few years back had unsafe sex, receptive anal. i know i need to get tested, i'm 60 years old and very frighten, top it all off had alot cold like things happening to me. i know the rational side of me said just get it over with but the emotional child wants to put it off. i have questioned the guy and he said he has tested neg just this year twice but people do lie. another thing is i was unfaithful to my partner of 21 years , he knows about the affair, we dont have sex anymore so there is no possiblility of infecting him. thank god. i just need a push to go ahead  and do it, i have no insurance but i have v a health benefits and i hear their hiv clinic is one of the best. they dont do the rapid test at v a but they do it at a gay organization here and than i would just call my dr at the v a and get a referral to the hiv clinic. please someone give me just words of encouragement. never had ars symptoms but i know that is meanlngless also my glubolin levels were checked every 3 months for standard chemistry and was always right in the middle of normal. thank you for listening to my rant. my name is such that i do know better was just stupid.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: courage
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2013, 04:51:28 PM »
A few years back had unsafe sex, receptive anal. i know i need to get tested, i'm 60 years old and very frighten, top it all off had alot cold like things happening to me. i know the rational side of me said just get it over with but the emotional child wants to put it off. i have questioned the guy and he said he has tested neg just this year twice but people do lie. another thing is i was unfaithful to my partner of 21 years , he knows about the affair, we dont have sex anymore so there is no possiblility of infecting him. thank god. i just need a push to go ahead  and do it, i have no insurance but i have v a health benefits and i hear their hiv clinic is one of the best. they dont do the rapid test at v a but they do it at a gay organization here and than i would just call my dr at the v a and get a referral to the hiv clinic. please someone give me just words of encouragement. never had ars symptoms but i know that is meanlngless also my glubolin levels were checked every 3 months for standard chemistry and was always right in the middle of normal. thank you for listening to my rant. my name is such that i do know better was just stupid.

I have notified the other (global) moderators to move this post into "AM I INFECTED" where it belongs.

Please do not reply.

To the OP: I will cheerfully address your post once it is in the correct location. As you have not tested positive, this part of the forum is off-limits to you. PLEASE peruse the various "READ ME" posts in the AM I INFECTED forum. You have two remaining free posts.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Online Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: courage
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2013, 05:51:32 PM »
Hi Know Better , I think from reading your post that you do indeed know better and that's making it hard to find the right words to encourage you to do what you already know your going to have to do and that's go get tested .

I'm sure that there are many people in your life that would be crushed if something were to happen to you because of this fear . I would think living with this hanging over your head would have to be worse in many respects than actually testing positive .

I have survived with this virus for 30 years mostly because I want to know and I face my tough health care decisions head on . I can promise you one way or the other stepping up and doing the responsible thing and testing will set you free from all of the uncertainty and indecision .

No excuses , show some respect to your body and the ones who love you by getting that test done .     

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: courage
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2013, 05:13:42 AM »
KB,

Ask that emotional inner-child of yours how he'd rather find out he's hiv positive - in a timely manner when his health can be preserved, or after he collapses with PCP or worse and wakes up in an intensive care unit hooked up to all manner of tubes, wire and machines? A person can feel fine one day and collapse the next.

Also ask him how great is he going to feel if that test result is negative and he's been petulantly fretting for all these months over nothing? Pretty great and pretty stupid all rolled into one is my guess.

Please keep in mind that even if this guy is poz, not every exposure results in infection. Hiv is a pretty damn fickle organism that requires an exacting environment and set of circumstances in which to infect.

Enough with the excuses. Just. Go. Test. Regardless of your results, you'll thank yourself in the long-run.

Good luck; let us know how it turns out.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Know-better

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Re: courage
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2013, 06:39:37 PM »
Just got back from the testing and it was negative. I have always practiced safe sex except for this incident. NEVER AGAIN. thank you for the support and ann honestly your statement of when would I rather know did the trick. so thank you again :)

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: courage
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2013, 07:13:42 AM »
KB,

That's wonderful news! I'm glad you got it over with and I bet you are too.

Don't beat yourself up over this mistake, just learn from it. We're never too old to learn and I make it my business to learn something new every day - even if sometimes that new knowledge comes from making mistakes. Hell, I got my Masters Degree in Life Sciences at the School of Hard Knocks. ;)

I'm happy to have helped you gather the courage to go test. That's what we're here for, after all.

Best of luck to you going forward.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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