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Author Topic: Anxious beyond belief; was I at risk of HIV transmission?  (Read 2227 times)

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Offline AnxiousOne

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Anxious beyond belief; was I at risk of HIV transmission?
« on: May 26, 2013, 07:13:49 AM »
I am extremely sexually active, I visit gay bathhouses (called "gay saunas" here in England) a lot and have done for a long while now.
I engage regularly in un-protected oral sex (as the giver and receiver), even when I have ulcers (stupid of me, I know) but I think I am comfortable giving head without worrying too much now as I understand the chance of HIV transmission via this route is so slim.

But the weekend just gone, even though I had a big ulcer I sucked about ten different guys, many of them with lots of pre-cum on their penis heads because they were so aroused, and I know for a fact the pre-cum would have touched my ulcer. I am extremely afraid now, I know the risk for oral is VERY low but I am losing sleep over this.

Then something happened. I went back to a guy's house and we fooled around in bed (wanking, sucking, touching) and then he told me to turn on my stomach and he massaged my back. Then he tried to fuck me - without a condom! And without even asking me ! I clenched my cheeks together and pushed him away, but he was very persistent and put his penis back in between my cheeks, I could feel pre-cum and he rubbed it and pushed it on my anus. I don't think it penetrated. I am sure I would have felt that???? Oh God I am so terrified, would I know if he put his penis in my anus? I mean like, if he properly penetrated it so that it went inside me, would I necessarily feel it? He used a lot of spit as lube so maybe there is a chance he "dipped" inside me without my knowing? Oh God, you've no idea what this is doing to me, mentally.

Even if he didn't penetrate me, is there a chance his pre-cum (on the assumption of course, that he is HIV positive) rubbing and pushing on my anus would infect me? I have been told the anus is like a sponge, and is very absorbent, so when it comes to HIV (which is found in pre-cum?) on my anus this would infect it?
He did this a few times, but I constantly clenched my buttocks together so he could not insert his penis into me, but whether he did or not I just cannot say.

He definately rubbed it and pushed it on the hole, and "fucked" my perineum and balls. I am so scared from these two things which happened (the sucking lots of guys with ulcer and this incident) - please asses my risk! I will test but of course, I cannot go ahead with a test without consulting people who are knowledgeable in this area and can tell me what to expect.

P.S. I have never in my life had un-protected anal sex, but have sucked off hundreds upon hundreds of men. I am so scared that even though it's low risk, that the amount of times I have done it doesn't work in my favour.

Thanks for reading this long post.

Offline Ann

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Re: Anxious beyond belief; was I at risk of HIV transmission?
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2013, 08:30:30 AM »
Anxious,

As you were understandably tense while this guy was trying to fuck you without a condom, your over-all tenseness and cheek-clenching means that you would, without doubt, know if he had actually managed to penetrate you. Don't let the fact that I'm a woman make you think I don't know what I'm talking about - I'm no stranger to anal. Pain-free anal (as a bottom) only happens when you're relaxed and want to be penetrated - and even then, you KNOW when penetration takes place.

All he managed to achieve was something called frottage (rubbing genitals together or on some part of the body - including the anus - without penetration), and frottage is NOT a risk for hiv.

Giving oral while you have an open sore (ulcer) inside your mouth could be a problem if you happen to blow a guy who has been very recently infected and has a sky-high viral load. However, you're correct in your assessment that giving oral isn't generally a risk for hiv infection.

It sounds as though you do not have regular, routine sexual health check ups. You do know, don't you, that in the UK you have access to free-of-charge GUM clinics where they will be more than happy to see you as a repeat customer. They're there to help you, not judge you.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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Re: Anxious beyond belief; was I at risk of HIV transmission?
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2013, 08:40:41 AM »
Anxious,

By the way, I forgot to add a bit of information regarding oral. While you're unlikely to end up with hiv via oral, there are other, MUCH more easily transmitted infections you can pick up while giving blowjobs.

Gonorrhea is a common one, and in the throat it often doesn't have any symptoms other than perhaps a sore throat which can be mistaken for a simple cold. There are antibiotic-resistant strains of gonorrhea that are on the rise, so it's something to watch out for.

Herpes and syphilis are two other STIs commonly transmitted during oral. Syphilis chancres (aka sores or ulcers) are painless, so quite often if you don't see the chancre, you'd never know it was there. It will go away, but the syphilis remains in your body causing havoc that can eventually cause dementia, amongst other things, and ultimately death if not treated.

Chlamydia can also be transmitted orally, although it's not as commonly transmitted this way as syphilis or gonorrhea.

Gonorrhea and chlamydia can be tested for through oral swabs, so make sure when you get your complete sexual health check up that they know you're partial to BJs and have them swab your throat. Don't worry about judgemental attitudes from the staff - they've heard it all before and would rather you're completely honest with them so they can help you to the best of their abilities.

Syphilis testing involves a blood test, so make sure they test for that as well.

Good luck, and make sure you start having regular check ups. It's what responsible, sexually active adults do to remain healthy.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AnxiousOne

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Re: Anxious beyond belief; was I at risk of HIV transmission?
« Reply #3 on: June 11, 2013, 07:57:27 PM »
Hi Ann, thanks for responding to me. It's very much appreciated, especially since I know you respond to countless threads in the forums and must have responded to literally hundreds and hundreds of threads. It must take a lot of patience in your character and I know it must be very repetitive at times for you. You (and the other Admin people on the forums) deserve many thanks and a lot of credit to you.

I just wondered, IF the guy had dipped in me...I know you say I would have known - but lets just say we knew he DID...and he was HIV positive in this situation, and he stayed in me for, I don't know, say a few seconds and did a few thrusts...what is the chance that that is enough for transmission of the virus? Many different sites and organisations and HIV/AIDS charities I looked up on, say different things...from very low risk for dipping to quite a good chance of transmission. Conflicting answers don't help, and I wondered if you could confirm what the chances of dipping resulting in transmission would be? Should I be making myself ill and depressed with worry and anxiety?

So many thanks in advance.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Anxious beyond belief; was I at risk of HIV transmission?
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2013, 08:18:14 PM »
Anxious . Its impossible to assign risk percentages to a sex act , there isn't an accurate formula to do so .

Lets say a hypothetical penis dipped into your anus ... and we always assume the penis is attached to a HIV positive individual . You would have had a risk and be in need of testing , you would need to wait 6 weeks past the incident to test and then again at 3 months to confirm it . Of course this is only hypothetical because you didn't have a risk and would have known if you had been fucked , even just a little .

The only way to know your HIV status is to test at the appropriate time . Ann made an observation  that shouldn't be ignored and that is you should be having sexual wellness checkups ... get your checkups and end the stress of not knowing , its the responsible thing to do and the way to move forward and put this behind you .     
« Last Edit: June 11, 2013, 08:21:49 PM by Jeff G »

Offline AnxiousOne

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Re: Anxious beyond belief; was I at risk of HIV transmission?
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2013, 12:55:14 PM »
Ann/Jeff - would you recommend rapid finger-prick testing, personally? I know of a place where I will be able to go and get an HIV test, a so-called "rapid test" where I shall get the result in less than one minute of having my blood drawn from a prick of the finger.
I wondered how reliable this would be, does POZ Community Forums recommend them and is it true they can detect HIV antibodies in only a couple weeks?

Offline Ann

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Re: Anxious beyond belief; was I at risk of HIV transmission?
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2013, 01:00:41 PM »
Anxious,

The rapid test are just as reliable as any other tests - when used within the correct window period.

The earliest you should test - when there has been a risk and you have NOT had a risk - is at six weeks.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks - on any antibody test - with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days.

A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point - when there has been a risk and you have NOT had a risk - but is highly unlikely to change.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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