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Author Topic: Tested Positive Yesterday  (Read 2725 times)

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Offline Pontus

  • Member
  • Posts: 32
Tested Positive Yesterday
« on: May 11, 2013, 12:46:47 PM »
Yesterday was another Friday.. (TGIF!!) But when my doc told me the series of blood tests she had ordered had all come back negative ... except the HIV-1 was reactive (Western Blot).  I feel numb.. like in a dream.. I understand what is going on... but I guess I am just a little shocked.

As soon as I got back to my office, I started making calls to set up appointments as my doc suggested. The rest of the day at the office was busy,, dealing with employees, reports and the like (I guess it kinda took my mind of things).  But today (Saturday) I'm sitting here doing tons of research and frankly feeling a bit overwhelmed. 

Intellectually I know this is not a death sentence and I will do everything I need to keep as healthy as I can... but my heart feels so broken.  I know it will get better as time progresses and I learn how to live with HIV.  But I guess I am looking for support from kindred spirits.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2013, 12:51:38 PM by Pontus »
05-17-13 - Diagnosed/ Westerblot
06-03-13 - VL=500,193 / CD4 384
06-03-13 - Gnome - no resistance
06-05-13 - Start Stribild
07-23-13 - VL = 100 / CD4 664
10-14-13 - VL = 40 / CD4 592
01-03-14 - VL = UD /CD4 784

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 11,850
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Tested Positive Yesterday
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2013, 02:01:33 PM »
I Pontus and welcome to the forum . It may sound like empty words right now but you are right , it gets much better in time .

I understand that overwhelmed feeling while digging through tons of information , so take it easy on yourself and take some time to adjust . I have been POZ 30 years and it took me half that long to realize I do not need to be an expert on every aspect of HIV in order to manage my life with it .

I think you will find the support you need here , so again , welcome .

Offline Elkan

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
Re: Tested Positive Yesterday
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2013, 02:20:51 PM »
I have been diagnosed for almost one month. I still search online everyday for some recent news regarding HIV treatment and get depressed once in awhile. There is definitely a lot to take in.
I will be more than happy if u want to talk to me:/ we can support each other along the way :P

Offline Pontus

  • Member
  • Posts: 32
Re: Tested Positive Yesterday
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2013, 02:44:33 PM »
I have been diagnosed for almost one month. I still search online everyday for some recent news regarding HIV treatment and get depressed once in awhile. There is definitely a lot to take in.
I will be more than happy if u want to talk to me:/ we can support each other along the way :P

Thank you so much!  yes there is tons of stuff out there.  A lot of it is outdated.. but it seems this site and a couple of others don't BS and are not locked into some kind of 1990's movie perception of what it means to be HIV +.

I go to the ID doc monday to get all the other tests that need to be done.  So, it might be a while before I even know what meds they will put me on.  Have they figured that out for you yet?  I have been reading about this 3 in 1 called complaria... talk about expensive!! 

Finally yes, I do think I need someone to talk to about this... thank you..thank you and thank you for the offer.
05-17-13 - Diagnosed/ Westerblot
06-03-13 - VL=500,193 / CD4 384
06-03-13 - Gnome - no resistance
06-05-13 - Start Stribild
07-23-13 - VL = 100 / CD4 664
10-14-13 - VL = 40 / CD4 592
01-03-14 - VL = UD /CD4 784

Offline Pontus

  • Member
  • Posts: 32
Re: Tested Positive Yesterday
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2013, 02:46:46 PM »
I Pontus and welcome to the forum . It may sound like empty words right now but you are right , it gets much better in time .

I understand that overwhelmed feeling while digging through tons of information , so take it easy on yourself and take some time to adjust . I have been POZ 30 years and it took me half that long to realize I do not need to be an expert on every aspect of HIV in order to manage my life with it .

I think you will find the support you need here , so again , welcome .

Jeff, Thank you for the warm welcome! just seeing that have managed for 30 years gives me a realistic sense of hope.
05-17-13 - Diagnosed/ Westerblot
06-03-13 - VL=500,193 / CD4 384
06-03-13 - Gnome - no resistance
06-05-13 - Start Stribild
07-23-13 - VL = 100 / CD4 664
10-14-13 - VL = 40 / CD4 592
01-03-14 - VL = UD /CD4 784

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 11,850
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Tested Positive Yesterday
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2013, 02:55:24 PM »
Jeff, Thank you for the warm welcome! just seeing that have managed for 30 years gives me a realistic sense of hope.

Thanks ... I still see good out of one eye and can type with the two fingers I have left but I get by .

I'm just kidding of course , I am actually healthier than some of my friends that are negative . I just know that in time you will have the confidence and knowledge that assures you in heart and mind that you are going to have a full rich life . 

Offline gavelkind

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: Tested Positive Yesterday
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2013, 10:06:33 AM »
Welcome Pontus,

Yeah, you know you'll be fine, but right now, its going to suck regardless of whether you know you'll be fine.

My main suggestion is too keep a "diary" that way you can unleash your raw feelings without fear of being judged. I was diagnosed in march and haven't really talked about it with my friends so the "journal" has helped.
2/13- Diagnosed
3/13- CD4,  885/39%   VL, 135,542
5/13- CD4,  867/46%   VL, 553
6/13- CD4,  720/42%   VL, 32
7/13- CD4,  1095/36%  VL, <20
10/13- CD4, 884/47%   VL, 42
1/14- CD4,  1165/48%  VL, 31
2/14- CD4,  1214/46%  VL, <20
5/14- CD4,  1715/49%  VL, <20

Offline d-boy86

  • Member
  • Posts: 119
Re: Tested Positive Yesterday
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2013, 12:04:45 PM »
Sorry to hear about your diagnoses. But one thing I found to help me, is to stay the hell away from Google. A lot of the articles and information posted are usually outdated and down right out to scare some people. If you take your meds, eat right, and stay active, there's no reason why you shouldn't live as long as someone without the disease.

Welcome to the forums by the way.

Offline Pontus

  • Member
  • Posts: 32
Re: Tested Positive Yesterday
« Reply #8 on: May 13, 2013, 03:34:00 PM »
Sorry to hear about your diagnoses. But one thing I found to help me, is to stay the hell away from Google. A lot of the articles and information posted are usually outdated and down right out to scare some people. If you take your meds, eat right, and stay active, there's no reason why you shouldn't live as long as someone without the disease.

Welcome to the forums by the way.

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement... I'm sort of getting to the point that I can say in my mind "I am HIV+" and I don't feel like crying.
05-17-13 - Diagnosed/ Westerblot
06-03-13 - VL=500,193 / CD4 384
06-03-13 - Gnome - no resistance
06-05-13 - Start Stribild
07-23-13 - VL = 100 / CD4 664
10-14-13 - VL = 40 / CD4 592
01-03-14 - VL = UD /CD4 784

Offline d-boy86

  • Member
  • Posts: 119
Re: Tested Positive Yesterday
« Reply #9 on: May 13, 2013, 04:49:32 PM »
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement... I'm sort of getting to the point that I can say in my mind "I am HIV+" and I don't feel like crying.
It will take some time. So don't rush it. It's only normal. Just make sure you find a doctor that is educated on the disease; and one that you feel extremely comfortable with. I hated my first doctor. He was an ass, and wasn't sympathetic since I was newbie to the world of HIV. He didn't understand why I asked so many questions, etc. So I switched. It's time for you to move forward in life using your gut and trusting yourself. God has presented you with a 2nd chance, so now it's time for you to take control and live the life he's granted you with. Remember, God only gives us things he knows we can handle. You're not weak, nor stupid. If you were, you wouldn't be on this forum :-)

Offline Pontus

  • Member
  • Posts: 32
Re: Tested Positive Yesterday
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2013, 08:59:09 PM »
It will take some time. So don't rush it. It's only normal. Just make sure you find a doctor that is educated on the disease; and one that you feel extremely comfortable with. I hated my first doctor. He was an ass, and wasn't sympathetic since I was newbie to the world of HIV. He didn't understand why I asked so many questions, etc. So I switched. It's time for you to move forward in life using your gut and trusting yourself. God has presented you with a 2nd chance, so now it's time for you to take control and live the life he's granted you with. Remember, God only gives us things he knows we can handle. You're not weak, nor stupid. If you were, you wouldn't be on this forum :-)

Thank you... by the way.  I just went through the ordeal of talking to the County Health Official.  Wow.. talk about making you turn red with questions.. I mean I know why it is necessary.. but that was certainly and experience 
05-17-13 - Diagnosed/ Westerblot
06-03-13 - VL=500,193 / CD4 384
06-03-13 - Gnome - no resistance
06-05-13 - Start Stribild
07-23-13 - VL = 100 / CD4 664
10-14-13 - VL = 40 / CD4 592
01-03-14 - VL = UD /CD4 784

 


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