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Author Topic: My brother Butch - (November 14, 1964 - May 5, 2013)  (Read 1756 times)

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Offline phildinftlaudy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,949
  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
My brother Butch - (November 14, 1964 - May 5, 2013)
« on: May 05, 2013, 06:54:53 PM »
Today I lost my brother Butch to AIDS - He kept his diagnosis a secret from the family - trying to buy his meds out of pocket - before going off them and going untreated since around 2009....

His last 30+ days were spent in the hospital - with PCP, wasting, toxoplasmosis, CMV, etc....  He died a shell of himself - weighing around 80 pounds... Less than 16 CD4s and a viral load in the millions...

My heart is heavy with grief - My spirit is broken - My pain is immense

My brother - who stigma, shame, denial, kept from revealing his secret left us at 8:45 am this morning.

I got to tell him I loved him, I got to feed him, to hold him, to hear him say he loved me....

I am angry at this disease - angry at the stigma -
But, I have hope - hope that maybe one person will read this and know that medication/treatment can save lives; stigma kills; and secrets not only kill but deprive those around a person of being able to help and support.

Rest in peace my brother - I will miss you.

-Phil
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline ImisstheOldTimes

  • Member
  • Posts: 49
Re: My brother Butch - (November 14, 1964 - May 5, 2013)
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2013, 04:30:15 PM »
Phil,

I am so sorry to read this, trust me, I understand about the whole secret/denial thing. My dad was exactly the same way. I remember writing in the "Someone I care about has HIV" and saying something to the effect of it being hard on the people who have to watch, who remember a person and how they used to be, and then how they are before you in their last days, to their final breath, it certainly takes a toll on a person. So I feel for you too friend, may your brother be at peace now, and may you be comforted during this time.

Heidi

Offline HARLEY_B

  • Member
  • Posts: 67
Re: My brother Butch - (November 14, 1964 - May 5, 2013)
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2013, 08:36:51 AM »
So sorry to hear of your loss, Phil. Prayers for you and your family and that Phil found the peace he deserves.

                                                                 Tim

Offline dragisha

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: My brother Butch - (November 14, 1964 - May 5, 2013)
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2013, 06:30:03 PM »
RIP

 


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