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My brother Butch - (November 14, 1964 - May 5, 2013)


Today I lost my brother Butch to AIDS - He kept his diagnosis a secret from the family - trying to buy his meds out of pocket - before going off them and going untreated since around 2009....

His last 30+ days were spent in the hospital - with PCP, wasting, toxoplasmosis, CMV, etc....  He died a shell of himself - weighing around 80 pounds... Less than 16 CD4s and a viral load in the millions...

My heart is heavy with grief - My spirit is broken - My pain is immense

My brother - who stigma, shame, denial, kept from revealing his secret left us at 8:45 am this morning.

I got to tell him I loved him, I got to feed him, to hold him, to hear him say he loved me....

I am angry at this disease - angry at the stigma -
But, I have hope - hope that maybe one person will read this and know that medication/treatment can save lives; stigma kills; and secrets not only kill but deprive those around a person of being able to help and support.

Rest in peace my brother - I will miss you.



I am so sorry to read this, trust me, I understand about the whole secret/denial thing. My dad was exactly the same way. I remember writing in the "Someone I care about has HIV" and saying something to the effect of it being hard on the people who have to watch, who remember a person and how they used to be, and then how they are before you in their last days, to their final breath, it certainly takes a toll on a person. So I feel for you too friend, may your brother be at peace now, and may you be comforted during this time.


So sorry to hear of your loss, Phil. Prayers for you and your family and that Phil found the peace he deserves.




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