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Author Topic: Phil's brother  (Read 3435 times)

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Offline Miss Philicia

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  • Posts: 23,991
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Phil's brother
« on: May 05, 2013, 09:39:48 AM »
Folks, I just got a call from Phil -- his brother was moved into hospice and passed away about 8:45 AM today. Please keep Phil and his family in your thoughts.

It's been kind of vague here on the forums when previously discussed as a "health issue" hoping his brother would pull through and in the interest of his privacy if he's ended up posting on this forum, though some of you have known the details.

Phil's brother was diagnosed with HIV about 3 years ago but he didn't tell any family members, and he never took the HIV meds that he was prescribed. He ended up a month ago in the hospital with PCP, toxoplasmic encephalitis, cytomegalovirus, wasting, kaposi sarcoma herpesvirus and probably a few other things.

Phil's, obviously, devastated, not just because it's his older brother but because Phil was diagnosed a year before his brother and feels he could have been so much help with his treatment if only his brother had shared his health situation with him. Stigma does awful things to people, and hopefully this can be a "teaching moment" to those of you reading here.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2013, 09:42:12 AM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline WillyWump

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  • your ramblings bore Yamaguchi Kitteh
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2013, 09:47:36 AM »
What a terrible situation. My sincere condolences Phil.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Online Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2013, 09:54:09 AM »
Thanks Miss P , My heart goes out to Phil and his family , my condolences .

I wish there was a national or global coming out with HIV day , stigma kills .

Offline bocker3

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  • Posts: 3,371
  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2013, 09:56:10 AM »
Phil,

So sorry to hear to this news.  You will be in my thoughts!! 

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline mitch777

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  • wish i were here
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2013, 09:57:23 AM »
Sad news.
My thoughts are with you Phil.
m.
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Online weasel

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  • Posts: 1,666
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2013, 10:30:48 AM »

    How very sad , I had wondered what the  " issue "  was for a while now.

   I am so very sorry  to hear that news .

     My deepest condolences to Phil & his family

                                                           Carl 
" Live and let Live "

Offline Alain

  • Member
  • Posts: 680
  • I am.
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2013, 10:34:44 AM »
Phil,

I am so sorry to hear about your brother's passing.

My sincere condolences to you and yours.

With fondest thoughts,

Alain



Offline Joe K

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  • 31 Years Poz
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2013, 10:40:08 AM »
Phil,

My deepest condolences to you and your family.  I simply have no other words, given the circumstances of this tragedy.  Please take care of yourself.

Joe

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2013, 11:06:57 AM »
My sincere condolences, Phil.  Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Online Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2013, 11:07:51 AM »
I just spoke to Phil and he has asked me to implore all of us not to post on his Facebook wall about this . He and his family are asking for privacy and several people from the forum have already posted this information and Phil has had to take the time to take it down .

There are family members that do not know all the details and reading them on FB isn't the way to find out . The last thing the family needs at the moment is people calling and asking for details .   
« Last Edit: May 05, 2013, 12:16:16 PM by Jeff G »

Offline Jmarksto

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  • Posts: 474
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2013, 12:08:52 PM »
Phil, my deepest condolences - my thoughts, and few tears as I type, are with you and your family.

JM
03/15/12 Negative
06/15/12 Positive
07/11/12 CD4 790          VL 4,000
08/06/12 CD4 816/38%   VL 49,300
08/20/12 Started Complera
11/06/12 CD4   819/41% VL 38
02/11/13 CD4   935/41% VL UD
06/06/13 CD4   816/41% VL UD
10/28/13 CD4 1131/45%  VL 25
02/25/14 CD4   792/37%  VL UD
07/09/14 CD4 1004/39%   VL UD

Offline buginme2

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  • Posts: 2,834
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2013, 01:07:22 PM »
So sorry to hear Phil, my condolences.

Offline OneTampa

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  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #12 on: May 05, 2013, 01:41:20 PM »
This is devastating news.  My condolences to Phil and his family.
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaŪto frito."

Offline BT65

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Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #13 on: May 05, 2013, 03:49:54 PM »
My deepest sympathy to Phil.  So, so sorry. :'(
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline leatherman

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  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #14 on: May 05, 2013, 04:39:26 PM »
I'm very saddened to hear this news. My deepest sympathy to Phil and his family through such a difficult time.  :-*  :'(
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #15 on: May 05, 2013, 04:58:41 PM »
Like many of us here we have been following the updates from Phil about the health of his brother, we were so elated when we read that they thought he was slowly improving, now comes this awful news.

Phil my sweet friend as alway's you are in my heart and my thoughts, I wish you and your family the strenght to get through this, the loss of a loved one so close to your hearts is never easy.

In love and in sadness
Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #16 on: May 05, 2013, 07:23:07 PM »
Thank you all for your support and kind words -
I am filled with grief
I am sad and angry
I am also happy when I think of the time I got to spend with my brother
I am happy that we got to hold hands, talk a bit, say "I love you" and that he was able to keep a sense of humor even as he neared the end of his journey here.

My mother is devastated
There are no words that can console a mother who loses a child - her first born...

I hurt over the loss of my brother
I hurt over my mother's loss of her son

I am angry over the stigma that is allowed to continue surrounding this disease that even in these times of grief is still causing harm -

I wish my brother could have known of the support available - that he would've confided in me -

He went untreated for years and I was on the same med as he was initially prescribed and had a two month extra supply - and I know the services that are available that he could have accessed.

Now I am without an older brother -
My mother is without her oldest child

Our family has gotten smaller
And there aren't enough tears to even begin to reveal how heavy our hearts are..

We will get through this -
And I truly want to thank you all for the support and comfort you have brought into my life during this difficult time.

-Phil
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Online Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #17 on: May 05, 2013, 07:40:17 PM »
I'm so sorry Phil ... you are not alone in spirit and I share you anger and frustration .


Offline J.R.E.

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  • Posts: 7,114
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #18 on: May 05, 2013, 09:11:27 PM »
Phil,

I am sorry to hear this.  My thoughts go out, to you and your family during this difficult time.

Ray and Ed
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 6/4/14,  t-cells are at 423, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 13% 

  
 62 years young.

Offline Elkan

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  • Posts: 33
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #19 on: May 05, 2013, 09:37:54 PM »
My deep condolences to you, Phil. Stay strong.

Online drewm

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  • Posts: 1,076
  • I have a sling and a dungeon :-P
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #20 on: May 05, 2013, 09:40:47 PM »
Sorry to hear about this
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline Anqueetas

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  • Posts: 116
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #21 on: May 05, 2013, 10:43:30 PM »
My condolence to Phill and his family.
ARS, hospitalized for very high fever-July 2011
diagnosed HIV positive - October 16 2011
CD4 460 19.5% VL 49000 - late October 2011
CD4 625 19.5% VL 50030 - January 2012
CD4 369 19% VL 69000 - March 2012
Start Sustiva+ Truvada - April 17 2012
CD4 524 24.5% VL UD - August 22 2012
Switch to Nevirapine+Truvada
CD4 490 26% VL UD - November 2012
CD4 539 29% VL UD - February 2013
CD4 621 28% VL UD - May 2013

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,815
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #22 on: May 05, 2013, 10:52:09 PM »
Phil,

I am so sorry for this huge loss.  I just can't imagine the pain.

Again, my heart goes out to you.  Didn't you recently lose your dad and aunt?  That is so much loss and sadness.  Take care of yourself. 

Ted 

Offline LiveWithIt

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  • Posts: 383
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #23 on: May 05, 2013, 11:15:46 PM »
Very sad, my condolences.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline britchick

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  • Posts: 421
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #24 on: May 06, 2013, 03:06:44 AM »
Im so very sorry to hear your sad news.I am thinking of you and your loved ones .

Britchickx

Offline Jody

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  • Posts: 1,818
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #25 on: May 07, 2013, 07:02:42 PM »
I'm so sorry Phil for your loss.  You were a fine brother and are a fine man in every way, take care my friend.

Jody :'(
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline lincoln6echo

  • Member
  • Posts: 109
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #26 on: May 08, 2013, 01:16:24 AM »
Hi Phil
I don't know you of course but wanted to say i'm sorry for what has happened.

It's clear you have good friends here that you can reach out to, and hope others can lend a listening ear at a time when needed most.

Thinking of ya.
lincoln.

Offline Theyer

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  • Posts: 2,496
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #27 on: May 08, 2013, 05:12:20 PM »
I am so sorry,
Condolences to you Phil and your family.
Michael
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline intaglio

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Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #28 on: May 10, 2013, 10:00:33 AM »
My condolences to you and your family.
Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Offline spacebarsux

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  • Posts: 1,350
  • Survival of the Fittest
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #29 on: May 12, 2013, 04:00:26 AM »
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family, Phil.  This is really terrible news.
Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline karry

  • Member
  • Posts: 271
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #30 on: May 12, 2013, 02:52:20 PM »
My condolences to you and your family, Phil.
This touches something deep in me because more two years ago my favorite cousin died, and it was only after she passed that I learnt she had died from AIDS. I had no clue she had HIV...and she died never knowing I have HIV....I cried alot then because I felt if we had shared our stories and supported each other, it might have changed something.
May your brother rest in peace.
Hugs.
Karry
Take it a day at a time....and be positive about it too!

Offline phildinftlaudy

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  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #31 on: May 12, 2013, 04:55:54 PM »
Thanks everyone -
Tuesday will be the service for my brother. My younger brother will arrive in town tonight and my younger sister, her husband and my niece tomorrow evening.

I finished writing my brother's eulogy the other night - the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.

We selected songs for his service....

Today, I took my mother out for Mother's Day - very bittersweet, as the obituary was published in the paper today. Her firstborn being laid to rest and his obituary published on Mother's Day...

And in between all of this, I still have had to show up at work - sometimes seems unfair that life continues to move on around us even when our own personal connection to it has stopped for the time being...

Thank you all again for your words of support via phone, here, and FB. It means a lot. Truly.

-Phil
who keeps feeling that there was something more I could have done, should have done, to have kept this from happening.   :'(

September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #32 on: May 12, 2013, 05:21:52 PM »

who keeps feeling that there was something more I could have done, should have done, to have kept this from happening.   :'(


There's not, so don't go there. Seriously.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Theyer

  • Member
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  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #33 on: May 12, 2013, 05:59:06 PM »
[quote author=phildinftlaudy link=topic=48474.msg588294#msg588294 date=1368392154

And in between all of this, I still have had to show up at work - sometimes seems unfair that life continues to move on around us even when our own personal connection to it has stopped for the time being...

Thank you all again for your words of support via phone, here, and FB. It means a lot. Truly.

-Phil
who keeps feeling that there was something more I could have done, should have done, to have kept this from happening.   :'(
[/quote]

Phil I can relate big time to that.
Agree with Miss P , please just don,t go there.
Take good care off yourselve
with love m
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Lou-ah-vull

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Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #34 on: May 12, 2013, 11:27:46 PM »
This is so sad and so heartbreaking.  I'm reminded of one of the lines I used last year at the AMG Memorial Service from the novella "A River Runs Through It" (film based on this novella) that "the people who need our help the most are sometimes the ones who elude us.  All we can ever do is to love them unconditionally, even without complete understanding."  Phil's brother died tragically but he also knew he was loved.  This, while not necessarily a consolation, is a very important thing.  Phil, in this life you will probably not even begin to know just how much of a help you really were to your brother. 

Prayers for you and your family in a very difficult time..and our promise to continue to offer our friendship, our shoulders, and our support.

Gary
Diagnosed Oct. 2005
10/05:  367 (26.2%), 24556 VL
01/06:  344 (24.6%), 86299 VL
04/06:  374 (22.0%), 87657 VL
05/06:  Began HAART 05/15/06, Combivir/Kaletra
07/06:  361 (27.8%), 1299 VL
10/06:  454 (32.4%), 55 VL
01/07:  499 (38.4%), UD
02/07:  Switched to Atripla 2/8/07
04/07:  566 (37.7%), UD
08/07:  761 (42.3%), UD
06/08:  659 (47.1%), UD
01/09:  613 (43.8%), UD
07/09:  616 (47.4%), UD
01/10:  530 (44.2%), UD
07/10:  636 (48.9%), UD
01/11:  627 (48.2%), UD
07/11:  840 (52.5%), UD
01/12:  920 (51.1%), UD
07/12:  857 (50.4%), 40
10/12:  UD
01/13:  710 (47.3%), UD
07/13:  886 (49.2%), UD
01/14:  985 (46.9%), UD
06/14:  823 (47.2%), UD

Offline phildinftlaudy

  • Member
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  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #35 on: May 12, 2013, 11:39:42 PM »
Thank you Gary -
I needed that reminder....
Things are just getting a bit more "real" again as the date of his funeral service (Tuesday) is approaching.
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline phildinftlaudy

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  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #36 on: May 14, 2013, 09:21:09 AM »
Heading out in a few to go to my brother's funeral service....
I will be delivering the eulogy -
My mother called a few minutes ago and asked "Will we be able to get through this?"
I said - "Yes - Yes, we will"
She said - "We have made it this far....Butch would be proud of us."
I said - "Yes, yes, he would" with tears running down my face.

I want it to be a beautiful service for my older brother. I want it to capture his essence - his strength, his love, and not to show his fear and the dark cloud he lived under keeping a secret and living in denial - a secret that took his life.
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Online Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #37 on: May 14, 2013, 09:23:28 AM »
Phil ... You and your family will be in my thoughts today . Hugs .

Offline anniebc

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Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #38 on: May 14, 2013, 06:04:15 PM »
My heart is with you and your family today Phil.

In sadness
Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Lou-ah-vull

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Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #39 on: May 15, 2013, 01:23:26 AM »
When it is "straight from the heart" it is sheer perfection.  I know you will honor his memory.  Thoughts and prayers are with you...

Gary
Diagnosed Oct. 2005
10/05:  367 (26.2%), 24556 VL
01/06:  344 (24.6%), 86299 VL
04/06:  374 (22.0%), 87657 VL
05/06:  Began HAART 05/15/06, Combivir/Kaletra
07/06:  361 (27.8%), 1299 VL
10/06:  454 (32.4%), 55 VL
01/07:  499 (38.4%), UD
02/07:  Switched to Atripla 2/8/07
04/07:  566 (37.7%), UD
08/07:  761 (42.3%), UD
06/08:  659 (47.1%), UD
01/09:  613 (43.8%), UD
07/09:  616 (47.4%), UD
01/10:  530 (44.2%), UD
07/10:  636 (48.9%), UD
01/11:  627 (48.2%), UD
07/11:  840 (52.5%), UD
01/12:  920 (51.1%), UD
07/12:  857 (50.4%), 40
10/12:  UD
01/13:  710 (47.3%), UD
07/13:  886 (49.2%), UD
01/14:  985 (46.9%), UD
06/14:  823 (47.2%), UD

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,496
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #40 on: May 19, 2013, 02:15:52 PM »
Phil You and your family remain in my thoughts and I hope that some degree off peace and stability is at least on the horizon.
m
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Jmarksto

  • Member
  • Posts: 474
Re: Phil's brother
« Reply #41 on: May 19, 2013, 04:58:10 PM »
Phil; My thoughts are with you,

JM
03/15/12 Negative
06/15/12 Positive
07/11/12 CD4 790          VL 4,000
08/06/12 CD4 816/38%   VL 49,300
08/20/12 Started Complera
11/06/12 CD4   819/41% VL 38
02/11/13 CD4   935/41% VL UD
06/06/13 CD4   816/41% VL UD
10/28/13 CD4 1131/45%  VL 25
02/25/14 CD4   792/37%  VL UD
07/09/14 CD4 1004/39%   VL UD

 


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