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Author Topic: Best disclosure yet  (Read 1351 times)

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Offline Souledout

  • Member
  • Posts: 145
Best disclosure yet
« on: April 28, 2013, 05:03:15 PM »
Last weekend I told a friend who I've wanted to let in on me having HIV for some time. I've held off as there's either not been a good time or she's had too much on her plate (her mother died recently). Telling her went well, she's a good'n.

This weekend was her birthday and we had a quick chat. It turns out me telling her, and trusting her with such sensitive information (she seemingly has low self esteem) did her the world of good. She apparently felt so honoured and touched that it went some way to bring her out of her malaise. The friendship is now cemented for life, we were already pretty close but now it's a whole new level.

I hadn't thought that disclosure would ever have such a positive result, it's not all doom and gloom. Just thought i'd share.
Infection sometime April-August, no noticable seroconversion symptoms
Not currently on medication
13/09/12 CD4 672 (33%) VL <40 (diagnosis date)
18/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 43
27/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 127
19/11/12 CD4 676 (38%) VL 959
03/03/13 CD4 642 (32%) VL 291
04/07/13 CD4 791 (33%) VL 26,437 (active cold sore, tooth infection)
18/07/13 ------retest------VL 3704
18/11/13 CD4 802 (36%) VL 65

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2013, 05:18:22 PM »
Hey Soul,

Thanks for sharing that, I think sometimes we worry too much about our family and friends, and how they will react to our status, but we will never know until we pluck up enough courage to do it, good friends and a great family will support you no matter what.

I know sometimes it can go wrong but you put it out there and it worked for you, and it sound like a strong frendship that will never let you down.

Good story.

Aroha
Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline mitch777

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,541
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2013, 05:31:26 PM »
Wonderful to hear stories like this!

It took me many years to disclose to some people in my life .
I must say that other than one or two people (in the early years...VERY early years)
the reaction has been either neutral or more often has created a better understanding.

I'm glad your friendship has bonded you both in this way.  :)

Thanks!

m.
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,681
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2013, 06:00:33 PM »


  Hi   Souledout  , 
                       Very nice for you  :)

    I'm glad  it went well .

          Sounds like a great Friend !!!!!!

                                                     Weasel
" Live and let Live "

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,201
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2013, 06:58:16 PM »
it's not all doom and gloom.
thanks for sharing your good experience. :D
we can never have enough good news, good stories, and well wishes here  ;)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline fer00

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2013, 11:07:54 PM »
Soledout thats great that you have the support of your friend and this brought you guys closer. My best friend was the first person I told, I called her after I got my diagnosis and she has been great very supportive, has always been there for me. It is great to have that support.
Diagnosed February 2013
CD4 354, VL 4,000
March started on Truvada, Viramune
June Cd4 450, VL 20
Aug VL undetectable
Oct Cd4 503, VL undetectable

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,668
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2013, 11:39:32 PM »
Hey Soledout,

Sometimes, we fear burdening others with our plight and so we hesitate.  How wonderful, when we give permission to others to help us, that their abilities are unleashed in ways both of you didn't imagine.

Joe

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,887
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2013, 12:15:07 AM »
Glad to hear it went so well.  I know some get bad reactions, and sometimes people are upset that they were kept in the dark so long, so it is nice to hear this actually strengthened your relationship. 


Offline Souledout

  • Member
  • Posts: 145
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #8 on: April 29, 2013, 05:09:18 AM »
Thanks guys. I'm just so happy that i some weird way I've helped her in the tough patch she's in at the moment, I never expected that sharing could help like that. I am slightly concerned about telling a few people now because they've been in the dark for so long, luckily my friends are a good bunch and I think it should be OK.

I hope that others are a tiny bit more likely to share with friends as a result. A problem shared is a problem halved, I'd have crumbled if it wasn't for my mates.
Infection sometime April-August, no noticable seroconversion symptoms
Not currently on medication
13/09/12 CD4 672 (33%) VL <40 (diagnosis date)
18/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 43
27/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 127
19/11/12 CD4 676 (38%) VL 959
03/03/13 CD4 642 (32%) VL 291
04/07/13 CD4 791 (33%) VL 26,437 (active cold sore, tooth infection)
18/07/13 ------retest------VL 3704
18/11/13 CD4 802 (36%) VL 65

Offline Jmarksto

  • Member
  • Posts: 509
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #9 on: April 29, 2013, 09:28:54 AM »
Hey Souledout;

Very touching story - it is a great lesson on how two people being more vulnerable with each other makes them stronger emotionally.

thank you,
JM

03/15/12 Negative
06/15/12 Positive
07/11/12 CD4 790          VL 4,000
08/06/12 CD4 816/38%   VL 49,300
08/20/12 Started Complera
11/06/12 CD4   819/41% VL 38
02/11/13 CD4   935/41% VL UD
06/06/13 CD4   816/41% VL UD
10/28/13 CD4 1131/45%  VL 25
02/25/14 CD4   792/37%  VL UD
07/09/14 CD4 1004/39%   VL UD

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,201
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #10 on: April 29, 2013, 10:31:42 AM »
I am slightly concerned about telling a few people now because they've been in the dark for so long,
either preface your disclosure or be ready to respond that you had your own fears and worries to deal with about being poz, that you didn't want to overburden them, that you can never be too sure how people will react, etc, and that those are the reasons you didn't tell them sooner. It's not that you don't love them, that you though they don't care about you, or that you were worried that they would "disown" you; but that you just had a lot to deal with in your own head to come to terms so that you could talk to them about it. ;)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Souledout

  • Member
  • Posts: 145
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #11 on: April 29, 2013, 06:08:34 PM »
Thanks, that's pretty much the thoughts that were slowly coalescing in my head but now I dont have to try and pin down the actual words to express it. Ta.
Infection sometime April-August, no noticable seroconversion symptoms
Not currently on medication
13/09/12 CD4 672 (33%) VL <40 (diagnosis date)
18/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 43
27/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 127
19/11/12 CD4 676 (38%) VL 959
03/03/13 CD4 642 (32%) VL 291
04/07/13 CD4 791 (33%) VL 26,437 (active cold sore, tooth infection)
18/07/13 ------retest------VL 3704
18/11/13 CD4 802 (36%) VL 65

Offline Souledout

  • Member
  • Posts: 145
Re: Best disclosure yet
« Reply #12 on: April 29, 2013, 06:09:13 PM »
Hey Souledout;

Very touching story - it is a great lesson on how two people being more vulnerable with each other makes them stronger emotionally.

thank you,
JM

Cute. Yep.
Infection sometime April-August, no noticable seroconversion symptoms
Not currently on medication
13/09/12 CD4 672 (33%) VL <40 (diagnosis date)
18/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 43
27/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 127
19/11/12 CD4 676 (38%) VL 959
03/03/13 CD4 642 (32%) VL 291
04/07/13 CD4 791 (33%) VL 26,437 (active cold sore, tooth infection)
18/07/13 ------retest------VL 3704
18/11/13 CD4 802 (36%) VL 65

 


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