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Author Topic: Yet to get tested but am pretty sure i messed up!  (Read 1710 times)

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Offline carleen

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Yet to get tested but am pretty sure i messed up!
« on: April 25, 2013, 08:48:00 PM »
Hi everyone i came across this site by chance while i was in the process of finding out if am infected or not which i must say is the dumbest thing cause i just added to the anxiety which has not helped me in any way.
Am still in denial because someone i trusted betrayed me and i feel he has pretty much ruined my life at 22.
I am so grateful i found this site,the last couple of days have been a blur to me since i found out he is a serial cheater,i have cried so much,i actually didn't know i had that much amount of tears in me!
Every time i think something negative i always come here and there is someone to say something that will help me bounce back albeit for a few hours then i go back to my own little world of regret,tears and foreseeing doom.
I can't bring myself to go get tested,am too scared for the doctor to confirm what i already fear. Did any one else go through this i keep telling myself nothing is going to change but every time i pick up the phone to book an appointment i chicken out. I know its for my own good but i just can't!

Online Jeff G

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Re: Yet to get tested but am pretty sure i messed up!
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2013, 09:18:20 PM »
Hi Carleen , I'm sorry you are so upset about your relationship troubles . Please post all of your questions in this thread only and please don't start another one .

I'm not sure why you are assuming your partner exposed you to HIV but as a sexually active adult you need to be having sexual health checkups any way .

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but HIV is forever.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care checkup, including but not limited to HIV testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine checkups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine HIV tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than HIV. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid HIV infection. It really is that simple!


Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Yet to get tested but am pretty sure i messed up!
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2013, 09:21:06 PM »
If you ARE infected (you didn't mention your risk) and don't get tested, you are probably going to slowly, over the course of years, get sicker and weaker and then die. And you will drag everyone who loves you down with you, watching you suffer needlessly from a perfectly treatable condition.

Sorry of that sounds abrupt, but it's happened too many times for me to sugarcoat it.

HIV is treatable, and there's no reason someone diagnosed today would have his/her life ruined by it. Yes, you need access to medication and treatment - and in the US, that can be stressful. But it's doable.

I am going to assume that your risk was unprotected vaginal and/or anal sex with an HIV positive partner who had a high viral load.

In that case, you did have a risk and you need to test.  You can test at any public health clinic, or you can use this directory here:

http://directory.poz.com/

to find an AIDS Service Organization, or ASO near you.

And, of course, you can buy an HIV oral testing kit at your local pharmacy.

As long as it's been three months since your last risky event, your test will be definitive. A test at six weeks is an excellent indicator, but three months remains the gold standard for now.

Not sure what else to say to you. Having had HIV/AIDS for twenty years, and having watched dozen of friends struggle and fail to survive against overwhelming odds in the dark days before medications were available, I have little patience for those who choose the fear of knowing their status over survival.

It's your life - and it's also the lives and well-being of everyone who loves you. You owe it to yourself and to them to know your status. Please do not be another infuriating statistic.

You say you are worried that your life will be ruined if you test positive? Living in a Schrödinger's Box is already a ruin.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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Re: Yet to get tested but am pretty sure i messed up!
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2013, 06:57:56 AM »

Hi everyone i came across this site by chance while i was in the process of finding out if am infected or not which i must say is the dumbest thing cause i just added to the anxiety which has not helped me in any way.


Carleen,

Surfing the internet for information on hiv will never, ever allow you to "find out" if you are hiv positive. ONLY testing at the appropriate time will reliably inform you of your hiv status.

Trust and betrayal really have little to do with your situation. You must assume anyone you are intimate with is potentially hiv positive and protect yourself accordingly (through correct and consistent condom use) until such time as you are securely monogamous and have tested TOGETHER for all STIs, including but not limited to hiv. This is YOUR responsibility to your own health and well-being.

You need to stop dithering and go get tested. It's the ONLY way forward.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline carleen

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Re: Yet to get tested but am pretty sure i messed up!
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2014, 04:00:59 AM »
Had posted here a couple of months ago and finally last month I got tested was a rapid home testing kit and it was negative!  A couple of days met with a guy who I have had unprotected sex with before and stupid me we had unprotected anal,and now am back to square one of being worried and being the paranoid person I am not at peace.
He swears that he is negative I would make him test but he went back to the States but he says he will test while there.
Symptoms well my neck has been aching, and I get the pin and needles in my feet and arms and a feeling of congested chest. Other than that am fine.
I realized my carelessness has gotten me here and to be quite honest I have already made my peace with it and if I have it there isn't much I can do about it.
Getting tested this time round will be much easier emotionally for me not like last it took me one whole freaking year to get the courage to do it again.
Will keep you updated !

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Yet to get tested but am pretty sure i messed up!
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2014, 06:35:16 AM »
Had posted here a couple of months ago and finally last month I got tested was a rapid home testing kit and it was negative!  A couple of days met with a guy who I have had unprotected sex with before and stupid me we had unprotected anal,and now am back to square one of being worried and being the paranoid person I am not at peace.
He swears that he is negative I would make him test but he went back to the States but he says he will test while there.
Symptoms well my neck has been aching, and I get the pin and needles in my feet and arms and a feeling of congested chest. Other than that am fine.
I realized my carelessness has gotten me here and to be quite honest I have already made my peace with it and if I have it there isn't much I can do about it.
Getting tested this time round will be much easier emotionally for me not like last it took me one whole freaking year to get the courage to do it again.
Will keep you updated !

◾Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.


◾If you cannot find your thread, click on the "Show own posts" link in the left-hand column of any forum page, under your name.


Online Jeff G

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Re: Yet to get tested but am pretty sure i messed up!
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2014, 07:38:22 AM »
If you have trouble finding your thread. go to your profile and select show own post and it will take you here .
 
You can test 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months to confirm the results . Best of luck .

 


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